Microsoft Should Make Cars, Gm Should Make Software.

At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart;
in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy
more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.

9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.

haha...funny stuff

Wait, I thought that was how GM cars work. :confused:

haha thats funny

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following that drove like

14. every 4-5 years you have to install a new engine
15. older cars will have huge turbo lag
16. if you spill pop on your dash your car will shock you and proced not to function:D

even better if GM made cars like compaq makes computers

1:while listing to the radio and driving, the car would shut down

2: you would need a new software cd every time you got a new battery

3: you would be asked if you were shure you wanter to start your car every freckin day.

Hehe.. I've read that joke many times before, and it still makes me laugh.. :D

hahah that was a good laugh!
Even though i own a windows pc

That's rad.

Classic!

Love 9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.

Is this all true? I would laugh at Gates for being even more close minded.

This thread is over 5 years old! But still very funny.

ha ha, when this was first posted, I was in my sophmore year of high school.

Now, I am a junior in college.

Anywayz, 6 is the best.

Instead of a key, you'd type in
a password to unlock the doors.

Thought of that one myself!

-Matt

Microsoft cars would probably be more complicated then iDrive. Then again, you never know.

I didnt know bill gate even knew what a car was. He was in his mothers basement for his whole life. Windows computers rock, mac sucks... and as far as cars go, they are good.

5 years ago? wow, it's still really funny!
I love number 13. start button to turn off.

HaHa, very funny.
You said why Microsoft shouldn't make car, but not why GM shouldn't make soft.
I'll tell few of them:

1- Each 3 months or 5000 minutes of using, you should replace the hard disk bearing's grease, cause it's being black and thiner. If not, you'll burn the hard disk.

2- Sometime, the computer will not start. What it can be? Maybe the power supply is broken. Maybe the start switch make bad contact or it's rusty. Maybe the copper in motherboard are rusty? Many hours to diagnose and 280$ to repair.

3- When you start the computer, it'll chime and display warning on screen if your room door is open or if you don't put your belt in your chair.

4- Sometime, the monitor light will dim and speaker will make roughly noise. You need to replace your video and sound card each 4 years or 80000 minutes of usage (133 days of usage).

5- Sometime, the computer will shut down automatically while you typing an important document. What it can be? Maybe you should replace the RAM?, the CPU?, the motherboard? Or it's just a rusty contact in the circuit of the mother board in the 16th layer. 3 days to diagnose and a 1500$ bill to repair.

6- If you don't use your computer for more than 1 week, the 3V lithium battery is discharged, you need it to be boosted it with another computer. Ground connected and +3V connected.

7- Sometime, you'll find an acid leak outside of the computer. It coming from the electrolytic capacitor in the mother board. You need to seal the capacitor or change them. Each one will cost 50$.

8- When you move the mouse, it may make a griding sound, you need to lube the mouse or change the mouse rods.

9- Often the CPU will overheat, you should open computer, check level of coolant in radiator and check if fan are operating. Also verify the thermostat. If not, you need a new CPU.

10- Often, the status light of the computer don't light up. You need to change the bulb.

HAHAHAHA.... Funny stuff DVSNCYNIKL....

:), My cousin has a ford edge.. and near the gear u can see "Powered by microsoft"