New European language
Neutrino
07-15-2004, 02:47 PM
Europe English
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen world!
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen world!
oddsodz
07-15-2004, 02:52 PM
seeing as i live in europe,,,, dat iz gut !!
Jet-Lee
07-15-2004, 02:55 PM
that started getting hard to read.
psychobadboy
07-15-2004, 02:59 PM
I no I hav sen zis befor, but I do not no var...
Anyvays, zis is a nis find. :lol:
Anyvays, zis is a nis find. :lol:
twospirits
07-15-2004, 03:19 PM
dat iz gut :lol:
Spreken ze deutch. :lol:
Spreken ze deutch. :lol:
oddsodz
07-15-2004, 03:27 PM
Goodevening Leute, und wie Ihr Auto ist, hoffe ich, daß der Turbo und der supercharger gut arbeiten, und,! habe nicht gesprengt!
Raz_Kaz
07-15-2004, 03:33 PM
Zat waz fun, ya!
Hyatus
07-15-2004, 03:43 PM
juz wot til d l33t haxerz se5 zis
One step closer to a world government like in sci-fi movies like starship troopers.
oh well american english will stay the same and it will be called American with ebonics a sub class to learn in the 2and year at colledge for others to learn.
One step closer to a world government like in sci-fi movies like starship troopers.
oh well american english will stay the same and it will be called American with ebonics a sub class to learn in the 2and year at colledge for others to learn.
YogsVR4
07-15-2004, 04:01 PM
That was as funny as it was fifteen years ago :icon16:
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RSX-S777
07-15-2004, 04:47 PM
Nicht fest auf meinen FuBen... :biggrin:
Oz
07-15-2004, 06:04 PM
:lol:
Damien
07-15-2004, 06:16 PM
Yogs! Ur to old!!! N zis zread wilst becom too hard to read! I alredy hads troble tryin to read it...
Sean
07-15-2004, 06:31 PM
Of course it had to be a language from a country that didn't want to be a part of the European Union. :P
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