''I'm Stupid'' Signs

Not mine originally, but still kind of funny.


Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope — talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. Said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning..ok..no problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked "So..is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."

Bill Engvall at his best. Everyone here ought to listen to his and Jeff Foxworthy's cd's for a good laugh.

Funny! I'd like to hand a few of those out...

Funny it is! :lol: Anyone know who did it originally?

Bill Engvall, he's particularly famous now in part to the Blue Collar Comedy Tour Movie. I've heard those and others from him. All very funny.

Guy and his son are flying a kite, man walks up, "Ya'll flying a kite?" Guy responds, "no, we're fishing for birds!" Here's your sign.

Guy walks into a funeral home, says, "My 105 year old grandma died." Funeral Director says, "My condolences, how'd she die?, Guy responds, "How'd she die!?, she flipped her Harley jumping wheelchairs at the old folks home!" Here's your sign.

/\ I was at Dodge theatre in AZ when Ron White, Larry the cable guy, Bill Engvall, and Jeff Foxworthy were doing the Blue collar comedy tour. Lots of laughs that night.

"I put down a pair of jeans at the checkout counter and the girl asked 'Are you buying these?' I said no I just wanted you to see them before I stole them... here's your sign'".

:lol2:

I have a couple of Bills comedy CD, the guy is a riot. :iceslolan

yep, Blue Collar Comedy Tour at its finest

I never get tired of em :lol:

Yea that guy is hilarious, and Ive heard these before...still funny as hell

/\ I was at Dodge theatre in AZ when Ron White, Larry the cable guy, Bill Engvall, and Jeff Foxworthy were doing the Blue collar comedy tour. Lots of laughs that night.

I saw Larry the cable guy in concert but I want to see Ron White. He was great on Blue Collar Comedy Tour.

Reminds me of a friend of mine. A few of us were eating at Hooters and I guess he wanted to hit on our waitress. Of course she's dressed in the lil orange shorts and Hooter's top, just like the other waitresses. His line was "So, you work here?" I handed him his sign.

The way I am, I would be like a "sign" shop

:lol:
ahah those are great, keep them coming if you guys have any more...

Here's one he did about himself:

"I was at the mall the other day and I was walking out to the parking lot. I saw this guy sticking a bent closehanger in his car window. I couldn't resist. I said, "Did you lock yourself outta your car?" He turned around and said "Nope, just washed it and now I'm hangin' it up to dry. Here's your sign..."

Here's one he did about himself:

"I was at the mall the other day and I was walking out to the parking lot. I saw this guy sticking a bent closehanger in his car window. I couldn't resist. I said, "Did you lock yourself outta your car?" He turned around and said "Nope, just washed it and now I'm hangin' it up to dry. Here's your sign..."

FUNNY!

I'm pretty sure that I am in need of a sign. I say stuff like that all the time.

That Blue Collar Comedy Tour is great!!!

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning..ok..no problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked "So..is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."


:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: