v00d00

This is a Joke from the old days, early highschool, and yes it kinda has changed over the course of the years...This is from memory so bare with..
note: this joke contains adult themes and some swear words...
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There is a man, and he's readying himself for his upcoming 4 week long, important business trip. But the problem is, he is suspicious of his wife having an affair while he is away working. So to put an end to this bit of paranoia, he decides to go looking for a present for his wife that will keep her amused over the 4 week period..

So off the man goes in search of the special gift. He spends the whole day looking and nearly gives up until he see's this old isolated "VOODOO" shop. He goes in and has a look around and is amused by the store owner commanding this penis shaped object.
"Voodoo dick, the wall!" the store owner shouts, and the voodoo dick fly's to the wall and starts vigourosly humping the wall. The man is shocked and immediately decides that this is the special gift for his wife. So after much negotiation with the store owner he is given the voodoo dick for rent over a 4 week period..

So the man leaves his wife with the voodoo dick and goes away on his trip..

The wife looks at the gift and unwraps it, "oh I've seen these before whats so special" she remarks. Deciding that the gift is foolish she neglects it for the 1st week..

then the 2nd week comes, but she is still stubborn over using it..
then the 3rd week comes, and she gets curious but does nothing about it...

Finally the 4th week arrives and she can no longer hold in the cuiriosity. Reading the gift wrap instructions she commands "Voodoo dick, my pussy!" and off the dick goes and humps violently...

what seems like half and hour has passed and the wife is getting scared, because she does not know how to make it stop. As she has work to go to she decides she must figure out how to stop it. So out she goes trying her best to conceal this dick humping her as she is walking. In the car she gets and decides to drive to her best friends..

As she is leaving, the violent humping action throws her off and she crashes into a tree. Minutes later a police officer arrives at the accident and ask the wife "Whats the matter lady, why did you crash?"..

"Oh its this, well, Voodoo Dick inside me and I cant stop it!!" says the wife reluctantly..

"Voodoo Dick, my Ass!" replies the police officer.

hahahahaha

:owned:

Poor policeman :uhoh: :uhoh:

:repost: And heard of it before

Repost, but still good

Voodoo Dick would be a great name for a band...

Thats humorous enough to come around every now and then :lol2:

Yup, heard it...still funny tho :lol2:

I should send a whole bunch of those to the cops that didn't asnwer my complaints on sunday. :banghead:

Good joke, first time I heard it.