One for the kiwis.

Melbourne Zoo had acquired a female of a very rare species of Gorilla.
> Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult
to handle. Upon examination, the Zoo veterinarian determined the
> problem. The gorilla was on heat. To make matters worse, there were no
male gorillas of the species available.
>
>
> While reflecting on their problem, the Zoo management noticed Mick, a
> big Kiwi lad, responsible for fixing the Zoo's machinery. Mick, like
> most Kiwis, had little sense, but seemed to be possessed with ample
> ability to satisfy a female of ANY species. So, the Zoo administrators
thought they might have a solution. Mick was approached with a
> proposition.
>
>
> Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500? Mick
> showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over
> carefully. The following day, Mick announced that he would accept
> their offer, only under three conditions:
>
>
> "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kuss 'er."
>
>
> "Sicondly, you must niver tull anyone about thus."
>
>
> The Zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they
> asked what was his third condition.
>
>
> "Wull," said Mick, "You gotta give me another wik to come up with the
> $500."

:lol: good one

Heheheheheheh.

Cept I've never heard of a kiwi called Mick, only Aussies :p

Heheheheheheh.

Cept I've never heard of a kiwi called Mick, only Aussies :p

And Irishmen....oh wait, the Aussies were Irish....

Never mind.....

Heheheheheheh.

Cept I've never heard of a kiwi called Mick, only Aussies :p

Keep posting like that mate.... you just prove to AF why we rip you lot off all the time...

:lol2: I love a good joke.

hahaha, nice one :rofl:

i didn't know what to expect at the beginning :uhoh:

:lol2:

hah!

I was laughing after the first part ;/

Keep posting like that mate.... you just prove to AF why we rip you lot off all the time...



one problem with that though Slave Tokkie aint one of us . . . . damn imports :icon16:

Not for much longer bro...sent the kiwification forms off on Friday...

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo







:)

Soon I'll be able to bludfe off the government and take my rightful place on the dole.


GOD BLESS NEW ZEALAND AND THE REPUBLIC OF SOUTH AFRICA

AND ITALY BECAUSE NZ'S FINEST EXPORTS (Me and my Steinlager) LIVE THERE

Keep posting like that mate.... you just prove to AF why we rip you lot off all the time...

It's no big secret; it's because you're all convicts.

He may as well be. Australia doesnt want him, thats as good as being a real kiwi. ;)

He may as well be. Australia doesnt want him, thats as good as being a real kiwi. ;)

Australia doesn't have anyone they don't want.

Look at all the people they've stolen.

Naomi Watts
Mel Gibson
Pharlap
Russell Crow (granted, noone wants him)
Nicole Kidman

the list goes on.

Who will the Aussies steal next? Prace bets noooow.

Not ONCE have any actual Aussie's claimed them. Oh, by the way, if my dad says he's an Aussie (even though he was born in England, but has lived here all his life) does that make him an Aussie? I'd say so, go check up on a few of what those people you've listed have said. ;)

But logic never fits with you lot. I walk into a fucking bike store and the bastard goes on about how great NZ is. Never in all the 19 countries I've been too have I ever found a country so insecure they constantly try to reassure you its a good place.

Not ONCE have any actual Aussie's claimed them. Oh, by the way, if my dad says he's an Aussie (even though he was born in England, but has lived here all his life) does that make him an Aussie? I'd say so, go check up on a few of what those people you've listed have said. ;)

But logic never fits with you lot. I walk into a fucking bike store and the bastard goes on about how great NZ is. Never in all the 19 countries I've been too have I ever found a country so insecure they constantly try to reassure you its a good place.
Funny that, I go to the local Baker and the guy (Who isn't an NZer, but went there) goes on about how great it is.


I think the general conclusion to be drawn is:

6 Billion people worldwide can't be wrong: NZ is great!!!!


:uhoh: Anyone who asks why the hell I'm not living there gets banned. :lol:

SO, why AREN'T you living there???

NZ bites :P I like one thing there. ;) And she hates it too. :lol:

See you in two weeks Gav.






:lol: I'm only in this for the money, Italy will never be anything more than a fuckbuddy to me, sorry Italy :p

Heheheheheheh.

Cept I've never heard of a kiwi called Mick, only Aussies :p
Thees ees Ditecteeve Meek Roiley Seedney water Porlice. :lol:

Fush and chups thunks you stupidd kueweu :thefinger

Wow! What a charming thread. :loser:

Fush and chups thunks you stupidd kueweu :thefinger
Sorry, I don't speak Australian..... (The opposite of English if wver there were one) :p

yeah me a sheila are gunna go get a sex pack o XXXX then some feesh and cheeps

Oh MOIT!

LOIK AT MOI LOIK AT MOI!

Actually, all the Australians I've ever dealth with have had pretty normal accents (slave and Oz included). A few words here and there, but otherwise nothing to notice. This is coming from an impartial observer.

Okay, seriousness dosage complete, continue with the hassling.

Nah, you haven't met someone from waaay up noith.

I hurd that one of those Nu Zelenders frum sumwear near Wullingtun wus gunna sexty noine his messus then muybe shear hur if she's wull behoived. I wush my messus wuld cut me sum sleck loike thet.
:thefinger

I hurd that one of those Nu Zelenders wus gunna sexty noine his messus then muybe shear hur if she's wull behoived. :thefinger

Look at this, bloody Aussies. Don't even know how to write properly.

I hurd that one of those Nu Zelenders frum sumwear near Wullingtun wus gunna sexty noine his messus then muybe shear hur if she's wull behoived. I wush my messus wuld cut me sum sleck loike thet.
:thefinger
That is honestly a perfect Australian accent :eek: Although I do pronounce "Going to" as "gunna" :eek:

And Irishmen....oh wait, the Aussies were Irish....

Never mind.....

But Ray if he was an Irishman he would probably think he was getting a bargain......or brought it out to dinner first

hahaha, nice one :rofl:

i didn't know what to expect at the beginning :uhoh:

I didn't know what to expect either...I think I thought he was serious because the zoo here has had two gorilla babies within the past 4 months. Then I was like...oh duh!! :disappoin

But it was a fuuny joke...I will have to remember it!! I may have to find a new word for kiwi though!! :p

And sheapshagers.Patea240krew 4lyf!

And yet another useless person graces our presence.

I think the general conclusion to be drawn is:

6 Billion people worldwide can't be wrong: NZ is great!!!!



Then you would be calling me wrong and I'm NEVER wrong. NZ sucks and should be buried at the bottom of the ocean with 99% of the population.

NZ is cool. The primary detractor from it's appeal is the population. :D

Then you would be calling me wrong and I'm NEVER wrong. NZ sucks and should be buried at the bottom of the ocean with 99% of the population.

That hair dying went all WRONG the other day.

Which would make you wrong.

No, it would make my cousin useless. It's being fixed in an hour by PROFESSIONALS so shut up Rhys before I hunt you down and stab you in the eye with pencils.

Oh the anger, the anger...

AT BEING WRONG!

I'm Female! I'm Never Wrong!

True.

You just have misplaced judgement I'll bet.

I take it back. I feel so ew after saying that.

its so over between us.

No.

Ah, the love between Aussies and Kiwis 'n I won't even point out this was a repost only it was written the way Toksin said. Alas, he's finally right...

After 2 years here, I'll submit. I love the Kiwis more...

Don't hurt me Aussies...TOKSIN!!! HELP!!!

LMFAO, Toksin help? Would you really want to hide behind a pacifist dwarf? 4ft man with a 6ft mouth...

LMFAO, Toksin help? Would you really want to hide behind a pacifist dwarf? 4ft man with a 6ft mouth...
:lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2:
Can't breathe.....laughing......funniest thing ever said......

Sorry, I don't speak Australian..... (The opposite of English if wver there were one) :p

There was actually a study done BY THE ENGLISH and they were pissed to find that as a whole we speak more correct english in terms of pronunciation.

There was actually a study done BY THE ENGLISH and they were pissed to find that as a whole we speak more correct english in terms of pronunciation.
They're STILL sending convicts your way? :confused:

:lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2:
Can't breathe.....laughing......funniest thing ever said......


Still taller than you...

Still taller than you...
Good GOD!!!! IMPOSSIBLE!!!!! Y'see Oz, that's what happens when you don't eat your Greens! (mmm.....Hippie)


Anyway, it's evident why Aussies get so mixed up by our clear, pronounced accents- it's because the only people that move over there are people from Glen Innes, Otara and the likes who don't think our doles are giving them enough. They sort of speak like this----> "Auw bow, Ar woos going down to da shorps fau fush and chups and den auw stole dis wickud Skorline bow! Che bow!"


I'm not from there, so that must mean I'm the greatest guy in the world. I know what, let's poke fun at Toksins accent. "Fuck oooof" eh? eh?

His accent was hot before it got New Zealandised. Australian accents are cute but only when they say pink or moon. It's adorable. penk mewn!

Yep, now he has no accent and no means to pull ladies, due to the fact that most standard human beings eyes scan right over the poor dwarfs head :uhoh:

Haha I gave him like I think it was either 1 or 3 out of 10 on the sexyness scale simply because of his accent. Now that it's gone, well he's beyond help.

Yep, now he has no accent and no means to pull ladies, due to the fact that most standard human beings eyes scan right over the poor dwarfs head :uhoh:

No, now I just have personality and charm, what do you have?

:thefinger

PS FUCKING GET MSN FIXED ALREADY

I'm FUCKING TRYING!!!! You try trying to fuck with Python, genius :p

Oh and I have the scoring shirt, beat that!

Do you have to let girls hit you to get a kiss on the cheek like David?

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST END THE FUCKING CONTEST ALREADY!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:

and the winner of the funniest thing ever said goes to......... PICKLE OF WELLINGTON, NEW ZEALAND!!!!