Humor

Gardner goes to see his supervisor in the front office.

"Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."

"We're short-handed, Gardner," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."

"Thanks boss," says Gardner, "I knew I could count on you!"

Hehe, your just a durth of wit Yogs:D

Took me a min to get it, but it was definitly worth it :D


Good work Yogs :)

Originally posted by Gonthrax
Hehe, your just a durth of wit Yogs:D

WTF? Even if you meant "dearth", I'm still not sure what you meant.

Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing.

Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly.

"MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND."

Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story.

So Johnny tells her. "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy..."

At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story. He describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and, "then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army."

Originally posted by enginerd


WTF? Even if you meant "dearth", I'm still not sure what you meant.

I'm pretty sure I ment Durth (Not sure on spelling) as in a hidden cache of somthing. i.e. in Three Kings Cloony and comrads discovered a durth of stolen gold.

Originally posted by darkness
Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing.

Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly.

"MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND."

Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story.

So Johnny tells her. "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy..."

At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story. He describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and, "then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army."


VERY GOOD


Yogs.....it took a while but i got it in the end....LMAO

A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no further.

He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours hadn't gotten a single person to stop. Finally, a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he was going too fast, to honk the horn on his bike and that he would slow down.

Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap.

The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed to the other officer that he had two Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph. He then relayed, "...and you're not going to believe this, but there's guy on a 10 speed bike honking to pass."

Two drunks sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting their lack of a sex life. One looks out the window, and accross the road is a sheep stuck half way thru a fence, with its butt facing the tavern.

One drunk says he sure wishes that sheep were Marilyn Monroe.The other says, "I just wish it were dark."

Originally posted by Gonthrax


I'm pretty sure I ment Durth (Not sure on spelling) as in a hidden cache of somthing. i.e. in Three Kings Cloony and comrads discovered a durth of stolen gold.

Well that would just go to show how crappy that movie is :p - they do all that (whatever they did - I stopped watching it very quickly) and don't even find any gold. Because "durth" ain't a word, and "dearth" means a lack of...or an inadequate supply of whatever

Originally posted by moondog


Well that would just go to show how crappy that movie is :p - they do all that (whatever they did - I stopped watching it very quickly) and don't even find any gold. Because "durth" ain't a word, and "dearth" means a lack of...or an inadequate supply of whatever

It was only crappy because clooney was in it. That guy cant act.

Bahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, good work Yogs (Took me a while to get it though), Darkness AND RevHappy

Heres a half-hearted attempt at humor,

An Antelope and a Lion took a booth in a roadside diner. When the Waiter came over, the Antelope said "I'd like a bowl of hay and a side order of radishes please."
"What will your friend have" Said the Waiter
"Nothing for him" The Antelope replied
"Isn't he hungry?" Asked the Waiter
"Idiot!!!!" The Antelope exclaimed in disbelief. "If he were hungry, would I be sitting here?"

Not bad at all Jimmy! :)

:hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe:

Nice :D

Allright heres another


Q. Whats safe sex to a polititian
A. No Press