This guy keeps farting on me!!

ok so im at work in my lil cubicle for four and this guy sits like 4 or 5 feet away and every afternoon he starts farting and im like right here! at first i thought it might be just the chair but its not..the bastard just squeezes a couple out in my direction everday..hes a mean dude and he works with his wife who reminds me of the fat ugly girl that is best friends with a hot girl..you know she always laughs and makes rude comments like she is always right...shes got black eyes and im afraid to look at her...and her and her husband always make rude comments at each other making things a lil wierd for everyone that has to listen to them...the other day i was eating an orange for lunch and i threw away the peels and she comes over and starts asking what the smell is that is smelling up the whole place..and then she starts spraying freshner stuff in the air..i just wanted to be like "bitch y*u know what stinks..your fucken husb*nd who farts on me everyday!"

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! man you are in a crappy situation. Husbands and wives should never work together unless it's their own business. Time to wear a gas mask to work.

Isn't it amazing how farts are funny EVERY time. Especially if they are yours!

im thinkin of puttin a can of lysol on my desk and spraying it whenever he farts..but im non confrontational so i would never do that really :disappoin

well at least he's not giving you a "dutch oven" where he farts and traps you under the blanket:rolleyes:...God I hate those.....

That sucks royal ass.....if it were my situation. Id tell him to lay off the ammo and start eatin something that wont make him fart so much. You can always bring the gas mask or one of those lovely glade plug ins :D.

well at least he's not giving you a "dutch oven" where he farts and traps you under the blanket:rolleyes:...God I hate those.....

:lol: thats hilarious! never heard it termed "dutch oven" but I know how you feel :bloated:

im thinkin of puttin a can of lysol on my desk and spraying it whenever he farts..but im non confrontational so i would never do that really :disappoin

just arm yourself, eat some good baked beans and rebuke :sly: :naughty:

when he's not looking slip some laxative into his lunch and then next time he farts he'll shit on himself

when he's not looking slip some laxative into his lunch and then next time he farts he'll shit on himself

Good idea.... except that may make it worse... could end up "contaminating" his chair, making it seem like one continuous fart. :eek7:

get a fan to blow back in his direction:evillol:

hhaha, thats hilarious :lol2: :lol2:

when he's not looking slip some laxative into his lunch and then next time he farts he'll shit on himself
I :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: agree!

1. Farts are always funnier when you're in competition with someone. I recommend and use Lebanese food for this. Especially chicken kebabs. CHALLENGE EVERYTHING!

2. The correct term for the wife you describe is DUFF. DUFF = Designated ugly fat friend. Every group of girls has one. Make friends with the duff, meet her friends and pick up the hottie. Tested and proven.

1. Farts are always funnier when you're in competition with someone. I recommend and use Lebanese food for this. Especially chicken kebabs. CHALLENGE EVERYTHING!

2. The correct term for the wife you describe is DUFF. DUFF = Designated ugly fat friend. Every group of girls has one. Make friends with the duff, meet her friends and pick up the hottie. Tested and proven.


1. :werd:

2. :thumbsup: Worked for me once, almost twice. second time the DUFF wanted more than friendship, and wouldnt leave me the hell alone. :uhoh: even though I was dating her friend. better watch out for the clingy DUFF's

:lol:

here's what ya do...get a bunch of those siren light things, mount those all over your cubicle. get a recording of an emergency siren. put a projector screen so it shoots right behind this guy and get yourself a gas mask.

whenever he rips, turn on the sirens, play the siren sound, play a clip of a nuclear explosion so it projects behind this guy so everyone except him can see it, put on your gas mask and dive under your desk screaming.

the next day, come in one of those big yellow suits that the hazardous material clean up guys wear and spray lysol all over the office.

subtle but it gets the point accross

subtle but it gets the point accross


hardly what I would consider subtle.......

but based on what youre saying about being non-confrontational, the fan would probably be your best bet (although im also in favor of the laxative!)

haha thanks for the suggestions...maybe ill come in tomm with a bowl of beans and slap him across the face with a glove and say "CHALLENGE"

well at least he's not giving you a "dutch oven" where he farts and traps you under the blanket:rolleyes:...God I hate those.....
Ha, ha ha. Dutch oven.