Jokes

I guy walks into a bar and sees a minature piano with a minature person playing the piano. The guy walks up to the bar tender and asks what the deal is. The bar tender says he came across a genie one day.

The guy says "Ohh, so you wished for a ten inch pianist."

The bartender says "Ehh, something like that."

Heard many many versions of that one
:lol2:

Two blondes walk into a building.
One of them should have seen it...

Four guys walk into a bar, the fifth one ducks.

A guy walks in a bar and says ouch



:loser:

Two muffins are in an oven. One of the muffins says to the other one, "Man, it sure is hot in here!" And the other muffin says, "What the hell?! A talking muffin!"

Two peanuts are walking down the street, when one was "a-salted" :)

Haha...or this one:

Two atoms are walking down the street. One of them says to the other "I think I lost an electron." The second one asks "Are you sure?" The first one replies "I'm positive."

Once upon a time there was a Chinese man and woman.

Now look at how many there are.

Once upon a time there was a Chinese man and woman.

Now look at how many there are.
:rofl: That one's the best.
A duck waslks into a bar and asks for grapes, the bartender tells him they don't have any. He comes in again the next day and asks for grapes, bartender again tells him they dont serve any. After a few days of this eroccuring event, when the duck came in the bartender yelled at him saying
"Next time you ask me for fucking grapes again I'm going to nail your nuts to the table"
The duck ponders on this and asks
"have any nails?"
"no" replies the bartender
then the duck asks, "got any grapes"




:lol2: that ones always funny

^Always a classic but it wasn't till Yogs that I literally was lol!!! :rofl:

Maybe it will be remembered...

One day this kid was walking down the street when another kid came up behind and threw a rock at him. Well, the kid turned around and called him a purple flower.....











It goes on, posted it awhile ago, greatest joke ever

Three guys go on a skiing trip to the mountains. It became late, so they decided to rent a cabin for the night and go home the next morning. There was only one bed in a cabin, but they were too tired to care, so they all slept in the same bed. Then they woke up the next morning.
The guy on the right says "Last night was great. I had a dream that I was having sex." Then looked down and saw his zipper undone. The guy on the left says "I had that same dream also." He too, saw his zipper undone.
The guy in the middle says "That's weird. I dreamt that I was skiing."

/\ :lol: heard it before but still funny...l
A sheik once lost his camel and asked a peasant
"where the hell is my camel?"




:lol2: yay stupid funnies

thats a classic

A midget with a speach impediment wants to buy a horse. So this guy shows him his prized philly. The midget syas: "Can I thee her eerth?" So the man picks up the midget and holds him up to the horses ears. Then the midget says, "Can I thee her mowf?" So the onwer dude picks the midget back up, shows him the horses mouth, and sets him down. Then the midget says, again, "Can I thee her eyeth?" By now the owners gettin a little ticked, but he picks up the midget and shows him the eyes and puts him back down and asks, "So whatcha think?" "Nithe horth, now can I thee her twat?" The owner is pissed. He grabs the little midget, runs around to the back of horse, and rams the midget dude's head right up the horses twat. The horse doesn't like it and kicks the owner to the ground, and consequently the midget falls out. once they've regained composure, the midget says, "Let me rephrathe mythelf. Can I thee her wun awound a widdle bit?"

ewww

lol i like the last one.