Voice Commands

Just got my 745i three days ago - I'm awestruck. HOWEVER: I have one small issue. The (female) voice of the navigation system is satisfactory but, for me, the (male) voice of the car's functions (telephone, etc.) sounds like a condescending game show host. (My preference? A soft female voice with a German accent, naturally! And I'm not kidding! ) In any event, does anyone out there know if I can customize/change the voice of the car? I figure it's only a chip or some kind of re-programming so it shouldn't be an insurmountable issue. But how/where do I do it?