joke time

Blone Joke
This one day this blond was pushing her 1985 Camaro into a car shop she told the mechnic that her car wasnt working. He said "Ok ma'am i'll fix it." About an hour later he comes back, and she says "Did you fix it?" He responded "Yeah, just crap in the carborator" blonde replies "How often do i have to do that?"

Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?

From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

A blone is walking down the street with her right breast hanging out a cop sees her
cop: you know maam i could fine you for indecent exposure
blone: oh crap i left the baby at the bus station

Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
Because she blows the horn!

how do you kill a blonde
put a scratch n sniff at the bottom of a pool

What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?


A blonde going through a flashing red light.

this man and his son went to buy a horse,
his dad run his hands up and down its back,
down its legs, up and around its chest,
his son asks, dad why are you doing that,
dad says to see if i want to buy it,
son says, dad i think we need to go home.
why? cause i think the fed x man wants to
buy mommy.

.
What's the mating call of the blonde?
"I'm *sooo* drunk!"
What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
(Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"

a blonde walks into a barber shop wearing a
set of headphones, and demanding a haircut,
he says you'll have to take them off, she says
just cut around them. he starts cutting and
he decides to jerk them off her head,
she falls dead. he puts the headphones
to his ear, and hears breathe in breathe out,
breathe in breathe out..........

what do you call 2 lesbian dinosaurs?
lickalotapuss....

last one... i have to work tom mornin...i need to try to get some :sleep:
A car is driving down the street when all of a sudden it starts violently swerving across the road.

The car keeps going back and forth, delaying traffic for miles until someone finally phones the police.

A police officer pulls the car over and approaches the window. A blonde rolls down the window. "Excuse me, ma'am, but is there any explanation for your reckless driving?" he says.

The blonde says, "Officer, I'm so glad you are here. There was a tree in the road, and I swerved. Then I saw another tree, and another, right in the middle of the road! So I had to swerve to keep from hitting them!"

The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT".
After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES".
By the time she drove eight miles, shehad cleaned 43 restrooms.

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.

This one blonde was flying down the road at 100mph a cop saw her pass by to his amazment she was kniting and driving at the same time. so the cop yells on his loud speaker "PULLOVER" the blonde yells back "NO ITS A SCARF!"

Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...

a blonde driving a new sports car cuts off a semi driver. the semi driver flags her over, draws chalk circle on the ground and tells her to stand in the circle and stay there. then he proceeds to slash the seats in her car with his knife..the blonde starts laughing. he says, you think that's funny? so he slashes her tires, she laugh's even harder. the driver gets pissed and sets her car on fire and by this time the blonde fell over laughing so hard. the guy says what the hell is so funny? the blonde says..3 times while you werent looking, i stepped out of the circle.

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage.

A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.

We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one."

She replied that she did not know, but this piece had always been there.

He gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.

He then took her over to another car which had it hood up and asked "is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there."


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