Question for The Ladies

So, my question for you ladies is simple:

Have you ever ended a relationship with a guy (or just not callen him back) because he was too slow to try and get you in the sack?

In case you are wondering, yes, I have had a couple dates in the last couple years that didn't turn out the way I had wanted, and I am wondering if playing "the nice guy" was what got me the boot. But besides that, I am curious if the women of generation X and generation Y (Y being those born 1977 and later) are more inclined towards having sex without love than culture would have us guys believe. Thanks in advance for your input.

I have been in three relationships. And I can say that no, I have never ended a relationship because a guy was too slow getting me into "the sack". As for myself, I am not inclined to have sex without love. I think without love, sex is rather selfish and somewhat demeaning.

As far as nice guys finishing last. I would definately have to say, no, they don't. In my experience, I have only been attracted to so-called "nice guys". Yes, some have had real rebellious streaks in their past or present, and yes part of that is a bit thrilling, but overall, I would say you have nothing to worry about JD. Being the "nice guy", while it does seem to have it's drawbacks, I'm sure (just like being the "nice girl" does), it pays off in the end.

Originally posted by JD@af
So, my question for you ladies is simple:

Have you ever ended a relationship with a guy (or just not callen him back) because he was too slow to try and get you in the sack?
Are you serious! Are there really guys like this out there. I’m not taking the piss at all, but I have honestly never come across any of them. Are you including the guys that when you make a move on them they still say no, because I’ve NEVER met any of them!! :p

I’m not meaning to sound like a biatch, but this species must be a rare breed indeed!

Originally posted by DantesInferno
Being the "nice guy", while it does seem to have it's drawbacks, I'm sure (just like being the "nice girl" does), it pays off in the end. True, true.

There are those nights I go out, put on my game face, get ripped, and may walk out at last call with a handful of numbers and compliments, but that usually gets me nowhere in the long run. I guess it all depends on whether I am looking for "Ms. Right" or "Ms. Right Now." :sun:

Originally posted by FTO Girl
Are you serious! Are there really guys like this out there. I’m not taking the piss at all, but I have honestly never come across any of them. Are you including the guys that when you make a move on them they still say no, because I’ve NEVER met any of them!! :p

I’m not meaning to sound like a biatch, but this species must be a rare breed indeed! Noooo.. I know I'm not a rare breed. I'm.. just.. not in the mood sometimes... :rolleyes:

For one, if you know a lot of women who have been victims of rape or sexual assault, you may start to develop a tendency to play things cool. It is a sad fact how many women have been victims... I've seen statistics that it's about 1 in 3, and based on the women I've met in my life, I'm certainly inclined to believe it.

Besides that, seems to me that making a pass too soon is a sure-fire way to get your ass booted, while usually taking the slow route will not land you on your hiney with such vengeance. So I tend to take my time.. though of course if depends on the individual.

I would have to admit I am one of these guys.

"Nice guys finish last"

I just get nervous. I mean it took me 6 months to work up the courage to ask the last person out.

Originally posted by JD@af
There are those nights I go out, put on my game face, get ripped, and may walk out at last call with a handful of numbers and compliments, but that usually gets me nowhere in the long run. I guess it all depends on whether I am looking for "Ms. Right" or "Ms. Right Now." :sun:

In a situation like that I tend to wonder what kind of women are handing their phone numbers out to a guy who's ripped, unless they themselves are ripped. I'm not saying anything against you. Personally, I find the looking for "Mr. Right" or "Mr. Right Now" scene rather...interesting. I have had numbers passed to me on a napkin, meals bought for me, but like you, this has really not gotten me anywhere in the long run, beyond building a good friendship.

i was dumped once cuz i was too slow to move on up the ladder, i was trying to be the nice guy

and another of my girlfreinds got mad cuz i didnt wanna move fast enough for her............what a slut......hehe

edit : and no im not a girl and no i didnt anwser yes or no

Originally posted by darkness
I would have to admit I am one of these guys.

"Nice guys finish last"

I just get nervous. I mean it took me 6 months to work up the courage to ask the last person out.

Nothing to be ashamed of,you will get the relationship you deserve in the end.I did.............

Taranaki's story so far ....

missed opportunities - Hundreds

Successful dates - Two

Successful Relationships - One

Married since - August 02,1986.

Originally posted by JD@af
In case you are wondering, yes, I have had a couple dates in the last couple years that didn't turn out the way I had wanted, and I am wondering if playing "the nice guy" was what got me the boot. But besides that, I am curious if the women of generation X and generation Y (Y being those born 1977 and later) are more inclined towards having sex without love than culture would have us guys believe. Thanks in advance for your input. I thought about this some more, and maybe I should elaborate. First, a very wise woman (okay, my mom) mentioned this to me once. She said that in this day and age, some women are fast, want some bootie for the night, and that's about it (I told her surely such a mythical dream for shallow guys (please note sarcasm here) didn't - couldn't - really exist, but she insisted it's the truth). A couple friends also came to this as a possible conclusion when I recounted the events of this one evening to them. And I heard something like this come up as a topic on a talk radio show here in Hartford recently, so it got me really curious.

What I would like to know is everyone elses idea of what a long time to make the first move is. I mean are we talking days, weeks, months, etc ??? As that would make a huge difference. I mean you don't want a guy making the moves on you after only a few days, but if you're talking months and months and months, then that's totally different.

Originally posted by FTO Girl
What I would like to know is everyone elses idea of what a long time to make the first move is. I mean are we talking days, weeks, months, etc ??? As that would make a huge difference. I mean you don't want a guy making the moves on you after only a few days, but if you're talking months and months and months, then that's totally different. Let's use one month as a baseline time frame for waiting to put a move on (i.e. that is for actual sex, not kissing, etc.).

Originally posted by JD@af
Let's use one month as a baseline time frame for waiting to put a move on (i.e. that is for actual sex, not kissing, etc.). Well I certainly wouldn’t ditch a guy if he hadn’t made a move and it was only a month. For me I’ve always gone with the moment and it’s different with different guys. For example I waited 6 months with my first boyfriend, but with others (not that there have been that many I just want to add :p ) it has sometimes been weeks, and ahem in other cases, (embarrassed here!), sometimes days.

Hope I didn’t gross anyone out with TMI!! :)

Originally posted by FTO Girl
Well I certainly wouldn’t ditch a guy if he hadn’t made a move and it was only a month. For me I’ve always gone with the moment and it’s different with different guys. For example I waited 6 months with my first boyfriend, but with others (not that there have been that many I just want to add :p ) it has sometimes been weeks, and ahem in other cases, (embarrassed here!), sometimes days.

Hope I didn’t gross anyone out with TMI!! :) Not at all.. I like the TMI game. See how far you can push before you embarass, shock, disgust, or nauseate people ;) As for me, I guess I range from.. perhaps 3 weeks to 5 months (zero one night stands). As you said, it all depends on the individual and the circumstances.

last relationship, 4 and a half months before we slept together. the relationship ended up being a year and a half long.

Only relationship I've ever had.

FYI, I just learned this yesterday.

Quote: Leo Durocher
Win any way you can. Nice guys finish last.

Just thought I would give you the heads up!

I'm just sick of people laughing or pointing the finger because I'm so woman "unexperienced." I'm very shy, and it takes a lot for me to work up courage to make a move, but that's only about 10% of my reason...I simply haven't found any girls that I really want as a partner yet (or if I have, they're already taken :rolleyes: ). So piss off, all you "13 different girls in one month" guys and leave me be! I'll find her sooner or later...just hope I don't botch it up :rolleyes:

Edit: One more thing, kinda OT...I wish I was better at picking up the signs that a girl is interested in me...I never end up knowing until months later when they've moved on and a friend tells me she liked me :( Anything I should be looking out for in particular?

I right there with you Heep, I'm exactly the same.

ahmen brothers.

Know how ya feel

Originally posted by Heep
I'm just sick of people laughing or pointing the finger because I'm so woman "unexperienced." I'm very shy, and it takes a lot for me to work up courage to make a move, but that's only about 10% of my reason...I simply haven't found any girls that I really want as a partner yet (or if I have, they're already taken :rolleyes: ). So piss off, all you "13 different girls in one month" guys and leave me be! I'll find her sooner or later...just hope I don't botch it up :rolleyes: Heepmeister:

First off, I assume that this extends towards people outside of this thread, yes? Well, this is naturally a rhetorical question. To this end, I say (quoting De Niro in Good Fellas here) "don't take no shit offa nobody!" ;)
Originally posted by Heep
Edit: One more thing, kinda OT...I wish I was better at picking up the signs that a girl is interested in me...I never end up knowing until months later when they've moved on and a friend tells me she liked me :( Anything I should be looking out for in particular? When I was younger, I was saying these exact same things. Now, since I'm the ripe old age of 25 (even seeing that typed out is painful :bloated: ), it has gotten easier and easier with time. I think this holds true for many guys. I still have trouble picking up on it sometimes. However, you'll meet a few girls that like you (and since I've seen what you look like, I am confident in saying this - you got a good look to you, and even if they don't dig you yet, they will) in time, and once you know that they like you, you'll start to notice how they act around you that distinguishes their behavior from other girls. Once you've got that, it becomes easier to pick up on the same patterns from other girls in the future. But remember that all girls are different. Some will make it blatantly obvious, and if they like you and don't, I'm willing to bet that they are probably just as shy as you!

As for particulars, girls may just have a certain bubbly to flirty demeanor when they are around you if they're interested. You have to be careful, as some girls will smile and act somewhat flirty by nature, while some will only do it if interested. So, you might want to try just "flirting around." If they're interested, they'll probably just keep on flirting right back.

NICE GUYS DO NOT FINISH LAST!!!!

darkness, I've seen your pic...and u should just go for it - good looks are on your side...so be confident!!

My best advice to guys is this: chat to every girl u meet, be nice, be friendly, don't be looking for a pick-up, just be interested! Guys who come out with blatent, pathetic pickup lines are just that...pathetic. The guys who just want to have a chat, and then maybe invite u for a game of pool are much more interesting! ;)

And then who knows what might happen from there? :)

So being nice isn't so bad after all. I am where Heep is, the same exact situation. JD i ask you for advice, becasue simple as that, you seem to be so damn good at stuff like this. Bah, theres this girl i really want to ask out, sure we know each other by names, but other then that, heh, she knows very little about me, and I know very little about her. I want to ask her out, BADLY. But for those of you who know how i am when talking to you on AIM, you know how i act*ahem* Dante*cough* HEHE...:) So far she only knows the extent that i am nice. But seriously, I stand here(actually sitting) thinking I am in the same exact situation as HEEP. I NEED HELP, thats why I look to JD, Dante, Tangie, and others here for the info i need. Cuz you guys rock.



*Comment taken out due to my stupidity*

Originally posted by SkYLiNeFrEaK
So being nice isn't so bad after all. I am where Heep is, the same exact situation. JD i ask you for advice, becasue simple as that, you seem to be so damn good at stuff like this. Bah, theres this girl i really want to ask out, sure we know each other by names, but other then that, heh, she knows very little about me, and I know very little about her. I want to ask her out, BADLY. But for those of you who know how i am when talking to you on AIM, you know how i act*ahem* Dante*cough* HEHE...:) So far she only knows the extent that i am nice. But seriously, I stand here(actually sitting) thinking I am in the same exact situation as HEEP. I NEED HELP, thats why I look to JD, Dante, Tangie, and others here for the info i need. Cuz you guys rock.




But honestly HELP ME OUT HERE. what do I do?:(

Ask the chick to go with you and a few others to play Laser tag or something, that way you can get to know her without worrying about goig out alone with her right off the bat. Maybe let her get away with a couple shots on you or something. I dunno.

Originally posted by Heep


Ask the chick to go with you and a few others to play Laser tag or something, that way you can get to know her without worrying about goig out alone with her right off the bat. Maybe let her get away with a couple shots on you or something. I dunno.


Oh yeah, I should do that man, I am gunna ask her to go bowling with my friend and his GF, so. that should be cool:D

Nice guys may get off to a slow start, but once they shift, they finish up far better than they expected! :D

And as for moving slowly... Some girls like it, others don't. Just move along with the emotion of the moment. You pretty much can't go wrong with that.

I have to agree on this one. Nice guys do finish first in the end. Believe me, my first boyfriend turned out to be the boyfriend from hell, but all my friends thought he was the best thing since sliced bread. It took me 4 years to find out what an utter asshole he actually was. I am however grateful for one thing, he helped show what a great guy my husband. He was the total opposite to that boyfriend and a total sweetheart and I’m sure (well at least hope) he doesn’t think he finished last! :)

I would have to say that i would never ever dump or drop a guy because he was moving too slow. I don't know about the rest of the women population out there, but i for one, like to move slow, and in my books good guys always prevail. Just remember that....:)


Good luck all of you guys who have romance in the air :)

:rolleyes: Hmmm... SkYLiNeFrEaK, I'm going to share some advice with you via private message. I think a strictly no-holds-barred message is the best way to get my message across, to hopefully help you find direction in your search.

i think that nice guys do eventually pull ahead of the jack-asses. most girls don't realize that a nice guy is what they want untill they are 23, 24 or older. when you hit that age, you are good to go. i'm 21, and a nice guy who always finished last, untill i met my girlfriend. she's only 19, but been through enough assholes to realize what she wants---me. and i've never been happier in my whole life.

Originally posted by JD@af
:rolleyes: Hmmm... SkYLiNeFrEaK, I'm going to share some advice with you via private message. I think a strictly no-holds-barred message is the best way to get my message across, to hopefully help you find direction in your search.


Dude WTF?


If you are gunna chew me out, DON'T EVEN FUCKING BOTHER.:mad: :mad: :mad:

awwwww come on guys, play nicely. :(

Originally posted by SkYLiNeFrEaK



Dude WTF?


If you are gunna chew me out, DON'T EVEN FUCKING BOTHER.:mad: :mad: :mad: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

WHOA WHOA WHOA NICE SHOOTING ACE!!! No man, I simply was saying that some things I'd rather not put up in this public forum. On the contrary, I am going to try and help you out. Promise - no "chewing" involved (what kind of asshole would I be if I pulled something like that - besides, you're a Slipknot fan!!! :D ). 'Kay?

Originally posted by JD@af
:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

WHOA WHOA WHOA NICE SHOOTING ACE!!! No man, I simply was saying that some things I'd rather not put up in this public forum. On the contrary, I am going to try and help you out. Promise - no "chewing" involved (what kind of asshole would I be if I pulled something like that - besides, you're a Slipknot fan!!! :D ). 'Kay?



Hehe sorry man. FORGIVE me of my stupidity:D

Heh, but it sounds good.

Hopefully you'll get AIM someday...hehe..


and FTO, you got nothing to worry about :D us MAGGOTS get along great:p :p :p :p

Originally posted by SkYLiNeFrEaK
us MAGGOTS get along great:p :p :p :p I wouldn't go that far. I saw some guys get pummeled in the pit (i.e. maggots on maggots) at the POA tour in October. Luckily I made my trips to the pit fairly brief (and size has an advantage in not getting pummeled or even targeted for pummeling as much as the little guy). It was pretty sick in there, but what true fan could stay out of the pit for their live rendition of "Spit It Out"?

But we digress...

Originally posted by FTO Girl
I have to agree on this one. Nice guys do finish first in the end. Believe me, my first boyfriend turned out to be the boyfriend from hell, but all my friends thought he was the best thing since sliced bread. It took me 4 years to find out what an utter asshole he actually was. I am however grateful for one thing, he helped show what a great guy my husband. He was the total opposite to that boyfriend and a total sweetheart and I’m sure (well at least hope) he doesn’t think he finished last! :)

nothing to worry about sweetie - I definitely didn't "finish last" ... in that sense anyway :D :p






....hmmmmm but maybe I'm not a nice guy.........



But seriously, Taranaki pretty much summed it up for me too, only I haven't been married as long yet. :)