A few more jokes

A pastor of one church, who was previously a sailor, was very aware that ships are addressed as > "> she> "> and > "> her> "> . He often wondered what gender computer should be addressed. To answer that question, he set up two groups of computer experts. The first was comprised of women, and the second of men. Each group was asked to recommend whether computers should be referred to in the feminine gender, or the masculine gender. They were asked to give 4 reasons for their recommendation.

The group of men reported that the computers should be referred to in the feminine gender because:

1.No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2.The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else.
3.Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4.As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheque on accessories for it

The group of women, on the other hand concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:

1.In order to get their attention; you have to turn them on.
2.They have a lot of data, but are still clueless
3.They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
4.As soon as you make a commit to one, you realise that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.

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A couple had been married for a long time, but could never get along very well. Many times, late at night, there would be screams and shouts from their house.
The old man often screamed these words at her in public, "I'm sick and tired of you! When I die, I will come out of my grave to haunt you!"

The old guy started practicing black magic. All the disappearances in the neighborhood of cats, dogs and people were blamed on him.

At the age of 80 the old guy died, and his wife put him in a casket. Later that night, she went to a bar and partied as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbor asked her, "Aren't you scared that the old guy will dig up and haunt you?"

The old lady calmly replied, "Eh, let him keep digging. I put the casket in the other way around."

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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in. The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away. The Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!" say the firemen to the Redhead. "Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead. "No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!" "OK," says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake. Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell, "Jump! You have to jump!"

"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde.

"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"

"Look," the Blonde says. "Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it..."

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A kid runs up to his father and says "Hey pop! Know how old I am today?!"

His father says "No, how old?"

He says "I'm eleven!"

He goes to the kitchen and says to his grandmother "Hey grandma! Know how old I am today?!"

She says "Come closer..."

She unzips his jeans and reaches her thin, spotted arm down into his underwear. She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then says "You're eleven."

He says "How could you tell?"

She says "I just heard you tell your father".

OOoooppsss.....

You get a 1/3 repost

:nono:
Tonio is the only one allowed to post jokes that bad. :D

:nono:
Tonio is the only one allowed to post jokes that bad. :D


well i sent him the 300 $ and he said that the official bad jokes licence is in the mail :uhoh: