Vaseline
Oz
05-05-2004, 06:03 PM
Uses of Vaseline
Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain."
And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.
Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and
says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in."
"When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person
who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go.
Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra.
No one says a word.
So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.
Still, nobody says a word.
So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table.
Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from
his pocket.
Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, thats enough, I'll do the fucking dishes!"
Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain."
And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.
Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and
says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in."
"When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person
who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go.
Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra.
No one says a word.
So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.
Still, nobody says a word.
So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table.
Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from
his pocket.
Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, thats enough, I'll do the fucking dishes!"
NSX-R-SSJ20K
05-05-2004, 06:16 PM
hahahaha thats great
but a little sick
but a little sick
TexasF355F1
05-05-2004, 06:16 PM
:uhoh: :lol2: :rofl:
Jm93
05-05-2004, 06:58 PM
haha heard it before
IntegraBoy2003
05-05-2004, 07:25 PM
hahahahahaha
RSX-S777
05-05-2004, 07:33 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol:
eversio11
05-05-2004, 08:00 PM
:lol: oldie but goodie
Cl0ak
05-05-2004, 08:41 PM
I'd heard another version of it but still good. :lol:
Chavez408
05-05-2004, 10:56 PM
lmfao love it!
ShortyDTP
05-06-2004, 03:14 AM
never heard it before ! LOL :lol:
EclipseRST
05-06-2004, 06:22 AM
:rofl::lol::lol2: ROLMFAO!!!
YogsVR4
05-06-2004, 09:45 AM
One of my favorites :lol:
Mediocrity
05-06-2004, 12:28 PM
haha, thats great
ac427cpe
05-06-2004, 08:58 PM
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that was great
Ace$nyper
05-06-2004, 11:14 PM
*shudders* that is funny though
tonioseven
05-07-2004, 03:51 PM
:spit::lol::lol::lol:
Howielong
05-07-2004, 09:58 PM
I heard that somewhere else. Very funny.
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