Diarrhea...

We all get it at one time or another, and it always seems to strike at the most inopportune moment. Lets embrace diarrhea (figuratively, not literally) and find the humor in it. What's your most embarrassing story?

I was participating in a disaster response drill simulating an aircraft emergency landing/crash (After a night of heavy drinking). We were all playing mangled victims of the crash in two school buses a mile out on an airport runway (the buses were supposed to be two pieces of a 747 jet). We were all made up with fake bloody wounds and given scripts/ told how to react to emergency personnel etc. As soon as I got out to the buses I felt a rumbling. Oh shit. :eek7: It got worse...and worse. When the firemen entered my bus I was wincing in pain, which they probably thought was great acting. It wasn't acting. So all the victims are lined up on the side of a runway waiting for the ambulances and I can't hold it together anymore. I get up and "sneak" away, running like a mental patient ACROSS runways toward the terminal. I don't care about planes, disaster drills, whatever at this point- I just need to sh*t my ribcage out. Apparently, it's hard to "sneak" away when youre out on an open runway complex, because the cops call the terminal to say some idiot is running away from the drill. The tower spots me and airport security comes screaming out. They pull up and basically ask "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??!" So I'm sweating, doubled over, dripping with fake blood and just decide "fuck it", I'll just tell them the truth... :sorry:

Then imagine a bloody freak, clenching cheeks and sprinting through the terminal to get to a bathroom....it was absolutely sublime. :22yikes:

good story. I do not have any situations like that I can contribute. The worst is when you get it at night when you are trying to sleep. Then you wish you had not eaten whatever you had eaten.

When you're driving in a chevy and you feel something heavy - diarrhea
When you're climbing up a ladder, and you hear something splatter - diarrhea

Oh, to be in the 3rd grade once more...

Last summer I woke up and got ready to head to work. I went to take my morning piss just before I was leaving and felt a movement in my poo factory. I paused and thought "should I go now? Nah, It's nothing" I thought. About 40 minutes later I'm on the train and it hits again. It felt like there was a baron of hell in my abdomen and it wanted out. The trains have bathrooms. I would have went but I couldn't because I had to transfer at the station that was coming up. Boy that was fun. I opted not to sit on the next train because if I sat and stood up, I would have had an assplosion. I finally make it to the city and I'm feeling fine by then, so I didn't use the bathroom in Penn Station (who wants to take a poo there anyway?). I walk to work from the station because it's only about 15 minutes. So I'm walking along and I'm like 3 blocks away and WHAM!! Here comes the ass party of the week. I was walking when all of a sudden there was a nuclear meltdown in my intestines. So now I'm in severe pain and I'm so damn close... Those 3 blocks were the most painful of my life. I get to work and just run to the bathroom. I sit down on the toilet and unleash my eruption of butt lava. I was sweating, dizzy, and I thought I was going to vomit. What a way to start off the day!

I was with my father driving around richmond, and he doesnt like to stop-at all, he look at me cause i was all bent over, and in extreme pain, and asked me whats wrong, i tell him i need to find a shitter..quick..so he gets pissed off, and pulls over at the local library, the library is fucking closed. Fucking closed on a fucking saturday afternoon. W T F. I get back in, still in pain, and my father gets even more pissed off, so finally fater driving all through richmond, i finally find a hotell, and pull over. Some fancy 4 star joint. I go the main desk, and ask where the can is, she points down this long ass hallway... i sprint-ed like an olympic sprinter..holy shit! (no pun intended) :lol:

Hmmm

This is in really bad taste, come to think of it.

Feel free to share your poo stories in PM, but the rest of us don't want to know about it.

[QUOTE=MBTN]I get to work and just run to the bathroom. I sit down on the toilet and unleash my eruption of butt lava.QUOTE]

I must say, this sentence touched me.