serious relationship help needed ASAP

to start off....i don't trust my friends to give me the advice i need right now. i need non-biased response from ppl who don't know me and my BF.

here's the run down...... things arent what they were and we both are aware of this. i'm willing to do anything to make it work and he doens't know what he wants. i'm willing to take time off, go back to dating, etc. he just doesn't know what he wants. i haven't seen him since sunday and he's called me once or twice everynight. we used to be together every night. i tried to get him to come talk face to face. he says he doesn't want to rush any decisions right now and needs to think about things some more. i want things to work out but i'm not handling this all to well. i'm not sure what i should do. here are a few things i'm thinking about and i need to know what you ppl would do.
feel free to ask questions as i will prolly be online all night to occupy my lonlyness.....yes i'm a freak! lol

1. sit back relax and let nature take its course.

2. end things....b/c if he loved me or had a bit of any feelings left he would come talk face to face and not put things off so they wont get worse.



to be honest here, i feel like i should go w/# two. i need advice please!

thanks in advance.

Liz

i would just wait it out, and let nature take its course... sorry i couldnt be more help.

no it is helpful. but i'm thinking that a breakup is coming and that i should prolly go ahead w/ making the first move. i've read some stuff online about how to tell if a break up is on its way. it said one of them is that he doesn't seem to have time for you anymore or doesn't call. well it's 9:30p here and he has yet to call me tonight. he always called me when he got off work at 4p. so, i'm thinking that by tomorrow if he doesn't call me tonight i'm just going to break up. if i let him go and he comes back then i'll know he really loves me and if he doesn't come back then i know i did the right thing instead of sitting around and waiting.

screw that! i know what i want and what i deserve.

thanks again......

Liz

i agree with camaro ss. but how long have you guys been going out?
Maybe he is just busy. I get busy and my gf feels the same way you do right now ,but she knows that i will always love her and that just becuase i don't call her or see her doesn't mean that i hate her. i would just give it time and when you talk to him don't talk about this until he does.

we've been going on seriously since November. i mean serious to the point of moving in together and we've been together almost every night since we started dating.

we just got back from vacationing together 3 weeks ago.

so i know he isnt' busy b/c he always keeps in touch. well he just called.

still not talking much about anything.

Wow you guys move fast! i think it will work out though

have you thought maybe thats the reason, things have progressed a little too fast, and now thats your about to move in, if this is his frist time being in that serious of a relationship, or the first time of moving in, its a big shock, and that fear of commitment might try to sneak in. to be to hasty to just rush off. Most men ( going off myself) sometimes have a very hard time expressing their feelings and emotions correctly. if you push a guy like that, they will get frustrated very easily because you keep telling them to tell you how they feel, and literally, they can't. When did all of this happen? you stated you just took a long vacation. did you talk about moving in together before the trip, after the trip, while on the trip? It could also be that maybe he just needs to have some space, and is starting to feel a little crowded... if you have spending every single night together for the past 6+ months, thats a little overkill. even married couples take some time off and have their "me" time. To much time together makes you at each others throats to much. Just ride it out, and see how things go. ask him if he needs some personal space, and if the answer is yes, your not going to be offended because you understand where he is coming from. Just because he may need some personal space, doesnt mean he still doesnt love you, or want to be with you. he might just be feeling cornered. I hope some of my rambling may have helped. good luck!

thanks guys....... this helps!

well, we were friends prior to dating and becoming BF & GF. our relationship became real hot and steamy from the start. i had never experienced so much passion and affection. he talked about moving in w/ me infront of his parents and of course i'm head over heels (i still am) and was all about it.
now when i say we've spent almost everynight toghether i mean for the most part but there have been plenty of nights we were apart. like he would go to his parents on the weekends (it's an hour away) and i didn't always go and sometimes through the week one of us would stay home and we would not see each other. personal time and space have always been provided and when needed we took it w/o takin offense.

things started to go down hill when he stopped being so affectionate back in January. i brought it up and attempted then to try and make things better. i questioned if it was me and told him then maybe we need some time apart. he got extremly upset and pissed, we spent a week away from each other and then we got back together and things were better. it's been a rollercoaster since then.
no physical or mental abuse. he'd be dead and i'd be in jail if that was the case. lol kidding!

this situation was almost like a love at first site and can work for some ppl.

he did tell me in an email that he is feeling a little off. when we first got together he informed me the holidays up until may/june are rough months for him b/c of the passing of his grandpa. he was very close to him......so sunday he was down all day and i found out why, b/c his grandpa used to do the easter egg hunt etc etc. (we had spent the weekend at his parents and had to partake in an easter egg hunt for the adults). lol

well, today i'm feeling better about things. i've come to the conclusion that i should just wait things out. i don't have anything to loose.

our phone convo went like this last night.....blah blah blah blah blah..... lol then i came out and said, "if your going to break up w/ me, just get it over with so i can get on w/ my life." he replied and said,"if i knew that's what i wanted, i would do it".

so thanks again, and i'll check back for more replies.

Liz

Well hotglrzracin one of the things I noticed before me and my ex gf broke up was that she just stopped be affectionate one day and I asked her if she still liked me and she said she did but the next week we broke up hope this helps and I hope everything works out.

i don't recomend moving in together JUST yet.

i moved in with my girl about 1 yr after we got together, before i was outta h/s, she's a year younger. She's finishing her 2 semester of college now and im workin full time. We went through exactly what ur talkin bout, me jus kinda bein out there...let him...dont push him...dont leave him...he'll come around soon enough...in my opinion, me an my girl went to fast, but got lucky when I landed an awesome job, over $10 straight outta h/s for playin on computers...jus let him come round when he's ready...kool?

DON'T MOVE IN WITH THIS DUDE!!!!!!!!

Anyone that is acting that neurotic you should just take control and say "hey, if you need to figure stuff out. Go right ahead! I'll be doing my OWN thing in the meantime!"

It really IS that simple. You were NOT put on this earth to cater to other people's schedules. If he wanted to be with you and continue to be affectionate, he would.

Move on girl. Go find a real man instead of this whiny pussy who can't give you a straight answer.

DON'T MOVE IN WITH THIS DUDE!!!!!!!!

Anyone that is acting that neurotic you should just take control and say "hey, if you need to figure stuff out. Go right ahead! I'll be doing my OWN thing in the meantime!"

It really IS that simple. You were NOT put on this earth to cater to other people's schedules. If he wanted to be with you and continue to be affectionate, he would.

Move on girl. Go find a real man instead of this whiny pussy who can't give you a straight answer.


UPDATE and thank you for the advice!

i did just that! i broke up w/ him last tuesday. i said i can't sit at home and count the hours until you decide your ready to be w/ me. so we need to go our seperate ways until you figure something out, then we can work on things. at first he was pissed but then he realized i was right and that he couldn't meet my needs at this point in time. we still talk daily as friends w/ hopes of someday working things out.

thanks for keeping me a little sane w/all the advice etc.

I know that you already broke up with him. My wife and I started dating when we were in high school. After about a year we were getting a little too serious in my part. I was planning on moving about 3 hours away to go to college when I got done with high school and she didn't want to move either. We broke up for a few months and dated other people. Then we got back together and now are married and have 2 kids. We both realized that we were miserable when we are apart. We do fight sometimes when we are together too much. But now we work different shifts and I play paintball on Saturdays and Dart leagues on Tuesdays so we have our space. Anyways what I am trying to get at is he may realize he was right were he needed to be. Great song by the way. So give it a little time and see what happens, maybe just try casual dating and see if there is still something there. If there is you will know it. Good luck.

UPDATE and thank you for the advice!

i did just that! i broke up w/ him last tuesday. i said i can't sit at home and count the hours until you decide your ready to be w/ me. so we need to go our seperate ways until you figure something out, then we can work on things. at first he was pissed but then he realized i was right and that he couldn't meet my needs at this point in time. we still talk daily as friends w/ hopes of someday working things out.

thanks for keeping me a little sane w/all the advice etc.

Rock on girl and GOOD MOVE!!!

Glad to see someone taking a stand instead of pawning-off for somebody that didn't really want them in the first place.

Life is short girl and you're still young. Go out, have fun. Do what makes you happy. That's what's important.