Burglar!

A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck."

"If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you,
just give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey, I love you, too."

:cwm27:
Well, did they have vaseline?

:lol2::lol2::lol2:

heard it before, still funny :lol::thumbsup:

repost.... :evillol:

didnt see that one coming :rofl:

:lol::lol:

That still makes me laugh every time I hear it.

:lol2: :lol:

and here I thought this was going to be a serious post.... I caught a guy last night trying to force my wondow open at around 10:00pm. he had ducked down around the window fence, and soon found himself staring at the barrel of a Glock 21!



but funny joke, sorry to possibly hyjack the thread for a moment.

You have a Glock?

I have no respect for you anymore.

Hey zebrathree, I know youre antidrug, but whyd you lose respect for the gun thing? Just curious, tryin to get to know people, I'm not sayin which side of the fence im on, just wanna know

:eek7::lol::rofl::cwm27: vaseline 4 the Cinnamon Ring!!!!:evillol:

:lol: Oh man that is funny!! LMAO! :lol:

Hey zebrathree, I know youre antidrug, but whyd you lose respect for the gun thing? Just curious, tryin to get to know people, I'm not sayin which side of the fence im on, just wanna know

Because I don't like Glocks. I am stictly an HK man.

Rhys is a gun snob/gun bigot :p

Heard the joke before, but still LOL.

You have a Glock?

I have no respect for you anymore.


dude, WTF? do you see me telling you I dont respect you for being an HK man? we carry glock 21's at work, so I purchased one to be more proficient with it. Sorry if you feel my wanting to be better with my duty weapon doesn't meet your "standard". My last and only comment on that uncalled for comment.

Mate, I'm taking the piss.

Mmmm HK. Fucking YUM!!!! Thats what Im after. Its a shame I cant privastely own MY "duty weapon" dammit. An Assault Rifle would DEFINITELY keep people behaving.

Nice joke BTW, thats great!!!