Worst Jokes Ever!!

Why did the girl loaf of stale bread slap the boy loaf of stale bread?
Because he tried to get fresh.

How can you make a slow horse fast?
Don't give him any food.

What did one mountain say to the other mountain after an earthquake?
It's not my fault.

What happened when Abel died?
He became unable.

A lettuce, a faucet, and a tomato had a race. The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running, and the tomato tried to catch up.

What did the lightbulb say to its mother?
I wuv you watts and watts.

Where do Sith Lords shop?
At Darth Mall.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
It has great food, but no atmosphere.

Why did the ox fall down the hill?
It was an oxident.

What did the cow say to the masked robber?
Moo.

What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!

You're on top of Mount Everest. How do you get down?
Pluck a duck.

Why was the belt thrown in jail?
He held up a pair of pants.

Why did the nickel jump off the building but the dime didn't?
The dime had more cents.

Two Pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

Did you hear about the plumber who worked a top a skyscraper?
He plunged to his death.

What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.

I know one person who thinks he's an owl.
Who?
Now I know two.

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

What did one bolt of cloth say to the other bolt of cloth after hurting its feelings?
I'm sari.

What do you get when you cross a pond and a stream?
Wet feet.

Why do businessmen carry umbrellas?
Because umbrellas can't walk.

Why dont seagulls fly in the bay?
Because they dont want to be bagels.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam.

How do you fix a broken pizza?
Use tomato paste.

This guy comes blasting into the doctor's office and exclaims, excitedly, "Doctor, I think I'm shrinking! I think I'm shrinking!"
"Ok, just settle down sir," the doctor says. "You're just going to have to be a little patient."

Do you want to hear the story about the broken pencil? No? Oh well. There's no point to it, anyway.

"Have you heard about the new pirate movie?"
It's rated aaarrrrrrrr.


Have fun! :icon16: :rofl:

I thought they were the worse!!! :grinno: :lol2:

After reading this, I don't want anybody to complain about my april fools prank again! :)
But I did like this one:

What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.

lmao. . .some jokes r just so bad that they become funny

Booooooo

allright!!! :smile:


2strokebloke- lol !!

P']You're on top of Mount Everest. How do you get down?
Pluck a duck.

I don't get it? :screwy:

oh man those jokes were so bad, you weren't kidding when you said they were the worst .................................................. .......................yet i couldn't turn away till i read them all :icon16:

heres one from one of my favourite movies, dumb and dumber:


What do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitsu???
a bullshit :lol: :lol:

haha!!


bulshit lol

its like a tonioseven compilation!
:icon16:

yeah, it is! :loser:

:lol::lol::lol:

I think I am the badjoke poster now tonio :icon16:

must read title

you do that :p