Looking for bad jokes? Look no further...

A guy applies to the welfare office.

They ask why he needs financial assistance.

"I'm having trouble with my eyes," the man says. "I can't
see myself getting any work."

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A guy got his date out on a country road and pretended to
run out of gas hoping to make out.

She wasn't going for it and said she had a $100 bill in her
purse and she'd buy gas, but he'd have to walk to town to
get it.

He said he had to pee first. While he was doing his
business, the girl decided to light a match near the gas neck
to see if there was any gas in there.

There was a big explosion, and she called out to him,
"Honey, help me find my purse, it's got my $100 in it!"

He replied, "Hell with that. Help me find my right hand, it's
got my dick in it!"

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Read each line ALOUD:

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is about cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the
top.
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This guy and his girlfriend head to the local bar. The girl says
she'll be happy to pick up the round as she's heard of a new
drink she wants him to try.

She gets back to the table and has two drinks for him. One is
a measure of Bailey's. The other full of lime juice.

She says, "Ok, what you have to do is swig the Bailey's, hold
it in your mouth, and then drink the lime juice."

He looks a little dubious but does as he's told because she's
really cute when she's enthusiastic.

First he swallows the Bailey's. Smooth. Creamy. A warm
feeling in his mouth.

Then he chugs the lime juice.

After about a second, the cream in the Bailey's curdles in his
mouth.

Two seconds into it his face turns the color of fresh lime juice.

Three seconds and he finally calms his stomach enough to
swallow the mess.

As he makes a face, she whispers sweetly in his ear, "It's
called 'Blowjob Revenge'."

Groan! Oh man - what are you doing to me? :D

:bloated: :bloated:

.................well the first one was cute.....

Q: What's miles long, has the name "Bob" many times, and only one tooth???
A: The West Virginia unemployment line.

Q: What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
A: De"calf"inated

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground Beef

Oh, and incase you didn't read my signature lately... :lol2:

:apuke:

Originally posted by HuMMerMan
Read each line ALOUD:

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is about cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the
top.Me = dumbass :uhoh:

:bloated: :bloated: thank god i'm going on holiday on Sunday for a week of RnR

I really liked the one cat one. Have to use that one at work hahaha

Originally posted by saturntangerine
Q:
Oh, and incase you didn't read my signature lately... :lol2:

Oh but I noticed it right away when you changed it Saturn :)

\i like the cat one two, :lol2:

hey Hummerman i've deleted the thread about that one, so no duplication :)

Originally posted by ragt20


hey Hummerman i've deleted the thread about that one, so no duplication :)

Okie Doky, I didnt really care, I was just pointing that out thats all.


More on topic tho, Sometimes I find the bad jokes funnier than ones ppl say are good, it just depends on my mood.