I'm Empty

the woman i love, my girlfriend of 5 months, just told me that she wants to "take a break" and cool things down a bit.

why?

because some faggot that went on the school trip to Italy with her over the march break kissed her, and now she likes him.

me and her have been together for 5 fucking months. she's known the guy for a week, kissed him once, and already has enough feelings for him to "take a break" with me.

she doesn't want to break it off completely. she wants it to cool down for a bit so she can still be with me...yet see if there's any possibility with the new guy.

meanwhile i have to restrain myself from making shit come out of this guys nose, because if i lay so much as a finger on him, she'll leave me and who knows what else will happen.

despite what happened (the kiss), i'm willing to forgive her. i love her more then anything and she is the most important thing in my life, and if she wants to be serious again i'd be more then willing...but at the same time i want to break it off completely for what she's doing to me. i put 5 fucking months into this and this guy gets her in a week? what the fuck?

i'm cursed with cars, i'm cursed with relationships...i'm not saying i'm suicidal but damn if i don't feel like not leaving my house for 10 years or so...

Oh my, a kiss. What are you worried about? That he might be better than you, and that she won't want you anymore? Maybe you kiss some other girls, and see if they like you more than her? :)

Keep your cool. It happens. Been there done that a lot of times and I was able to move on.

If she ends up with him...then theres your chance to break his nose. :evillol:

Tell all this to her. And if she breaks up with you anyway, break the fucker in half. See how much she likes kissing broken cartledge. :evillol:

This has nothing to do with the other guy. This has everything to do with "your" girl.

You tell her it's him or you. If it's him, you dump her and don't look back. If it's you, you might want to just dump her anyway.

You *must* maintain respect. Both self-respect and her respect for you. Don't be a doormat. If she thinks she can go overseas and make out with guys and then tell you, then she doesn't respect you. If she then stays with you after this you're doubly screwed, because you'll have to know that she'll have it in her to cheat whenever she pleases.

How old are you again? :rolleyes: 5 months != "love of my life."

If, after reading this, you're pissed, but you know I'm right, PM me... ;)

jay, you've been a good friend and helped me alot throughout my time at this site, but for this one time i'll have to tell you to piss off. i'm not offended, but that's what i think.

you don't know the situation i'm in. you don't know how perfect me and her are for each other. she's not this kind of person. this isn't like her at all. that's why this is hitting me so hard, because it's nothing like her. it came out of nowhere, and she doesn't even know how to react to it.

i don't want to lose her. 5 months may seem short to some of you, but to me it's not and any of you who want to doubt that, well you can kiss my ass because i'm the one in this relationship and i KNOW that this is real. a time frame means nothing. if you are compatible enough with the person, then a week-long relationship could be the love of your life. at least i'm not the "love at first sight" type.

and yeah, she might seem immature too for all of this, but she hung out with the guy for 9 days on the trip and claims he has the same type of personality as me and that she has gained feelings for him.

i can't beat the guy yet...i might just have a friendly talking-to sometime soon, but i won't beat him until i'm 100% sure i've lost. if it comes to that point, then i won't care what she thinks if i smear his face on the ashphalt.

i'm 19, by the way.

Sorry but i agree with Jay. What is the deal with that? She wants to put you on "stand by" while she tries screwing around with another guy just to see if its better.

You deserve better, and your self-respect is more important than some chick.

i agree with you guys that what she's doing is bullshit.

but i can't be all too sure that she's thought it through enough either. i mean, what if she's talking about all this "break" BS now, but hasn't really realized that she was wrong about it all along?

either way, i'm not going to be a door-mat. if we get back together, she had better be kissing my ass 24/7 or i'm out the door. i WANT her back, but if that happens, she'll have to make up for this bullshit. and if i EVER hear of her cheating in any way again, i'm gone.

her exact words were "we're still "together", but i can pursue other interests if i want to and so can you."

fuck that. if she so much as goes on one date with this faggot, i'm gone. no if's and's or but's. as much as i love her, that's just bullshit and i won't take it. i won't have her stay with me just to keep me happy while she's out fucking some other guy.

if that happens, that's when i'll be introducing foot to ass as well. :evillol:

you don't know the situation i'm in. you don't know how perfect me and her are for each other. she's not this kind of person. this isn't like her at all. that's why this is hitting me so hard, because it's nothing like her. it came out of nowhere, and she doesn't even know how to react to it.I'm not sure you know the situation you're in, either.

If this is nothing like her, then why is it reality?

Women don't dump men "out of nowhere." Perhaps something has changed in her mind in one week on a trip to Italy, or prehaps it was already brewing; I don't know.

Is she okay with you going out with other women in the meantime?
No: Big surprise, but why does she get a double standard?
Yes: She's already done with you, and just hasn't told you yet.

edit: d'oh you snuck in a reply before me! :p

I'm sorry to hear about that Brian, I look at it as if she'll do it now and say she'll give it a try, even if she does come back to you, she's liable to do it again. Ditch her, beat his ass, move on.

EDIT: Oh...you agreed with me before I said anything...I need to learn how to read...

Solution: Fuck her mom.

Fuck her best friend and move on. ;) :thumbsup:

three waya w/ mom + best friend! :evillol:

What Oz and Jay said.

Fuck everything that moves.

if you want Brian i'll break his nose for ya...for a small fee:evillol:

But most of all, fuck her. She's not worth it.

If my girl decided that she wants to take a break with me to see if this other guy is anything worth it - I'm dropping her like a bad habit. There's too much bullshit that goes along with "im still with you, only I can fuck other people" crap. Drop her, find someone else. Find someone that doesn't pull that immature "taking a break" crap. If she really liked you she wouldnt be taking a break.

Fuck her best friend and move on. ;) :thumbsup:
Brian afterwards: "I like this whole 'taking a break' thing. Your friend insert name here made me forget ALL about you." :icon16:

:werd: :1:

well, i just had a 2 hour long talk with her.

turns out she sort of worded it badly when she originally told me.

she DID kiss the guy in Italy. she DID have feelings for him...until she came home and saw me.

she said she worded it badly, and all she really wants it to slow things down a bit. she said things were getting way too serious. she still wants to be with me, and still loves me, and is not in pursuit of this other guy. she said him and her will stay friends, but nothing will become of it. (i did, however, make her well aware that if something DID end up becoming of it, i would drop her like a wet noodle and would not look back no matter what)

so as it sits now, we're still together and when we're alone, she is the exact same. she just:

a) doesn't want to spend every single night with me. she said she needs a couple of alone nights where she can do what she wants, and needs to hang out with her friends more often again too, since she was neglecting them.

b) wants to tone down the public affection. we're still allowed to do all the regular couple stuff, just not as rambunctious as before.

so this is still very much a thing, and i haven't lost her at all. she just wants to slow it down for a little bit so she can have some breathing room. she said things will be back to normal by this time next month.

i don't know if it's my fault for taking it the wrong way or her fault for explaining it the wrong way, but now that i type it, it doesn't sound too bad...but if that guy comes into the equation just once, i'm gone, and she now knows that.

thanks for all the support, guys.

btw, the fuck her mom idea? EYECH! trust me...

I dunno mate. If the Mummy isn't Yummy can you see her being any better in 25 years? I'd still go her best friend too. Actually, wanna PM me her number?

:thumbsup:

well, i just had a 2 hour long talk with her.

turns out she sort of worded it badly when she originally told me.

she DID kiss the guy in Italy. she DID have feelings for him...until she came home and saw me.

she said she worded it badly, and all she really wants it to slow things down a bit. she said things were getting way too serious. she still wants to be with me, and still loves me, and is not in pursuit of this other guy. she said him and her will stay friends, but nothing will become of it. (i did, however, make her well aware that if something DID end up becoming of it, i would drop her like a wet noodle and would not look back no matter what)

so as it sits now, we're still together and when we're alone, she is the exact same. she just:

a) doesn't want to spend every single night with me. she said she needs a couple of alone nights where she can do what she wants, and needs to hang out with her friends more often again too, since she was neglecting them.
What the fuck man? She's the one who was the clingy one, now this?

I've been where you are man, I lost Kat because of something like this. Most of what I mean to say I've already said to you, but this is bad news. She's bad for you man. Get out of it before its too late. If she even doubts that she wants to be with you, it's over. Get rid of her and move on. Kick the shit out of the guy, let her leave you, and then kick the shit out of him again as stress relief.

Anything else we can discuss on MSN.

Yeah, your situation sucks I know, my girlfriend of 2 years left me today, I was planning to propose to her in the next year, I didn't know anything was wrong at all, I was really happy, she comes back from Chicago and Surprise! She's hanging out with my roommate constantly and doesn't want to be with me. You'll be alright man, 5 mon. isn't bad, I've ended several 5 month relationships, you say it's the end of the world today but you don't know what'll happen tomorrow. I'm devastated right now quite honestly, but I know everything will work out eventually, if she could just leave me like that then it probably never would've worked out.

My rule with women: They fuck with you for no reason, tell em to fuck off.

My rule with women: They fuck with you for no reason, tell em to fuck off.

Much truth here.

Glad to hear that the situation wasn't quite as dire as it first sounded. She sounds pretty reasonable about the situation and your response was as well.

All I can suggest is that you revisit your feelings for this woman every so often. Your both still really young and going through a lot of changes in your wants and needs. Don't be shocked (and I'm not saying its going to happen) if you do happen to drift apart. The old addage of 'if you love it, let it go. If it loves you it will return' is quite true.

Best of luck. :smile:

Though my experiences, i've learned that there's no such thing as "a break". I'm cynical enought os say that you should just dump her now.

That's all.

well, i just had a 2 hour long talk with her.

turns out she sort of worded it badly when she originally told me.

she DID kiss the guy in Italy. she DID have feelings for him...until she came home and saw me.

she said she worded it badly, and all she really wants it to slow things down a bit. she said things were getting way too serious. she still wants to be with me, and still loves me, and is not in pursuit of this other guy. she said him and her will stay friends, but nothing will become of it. (i did, however, make her well aware that if something DID end up becoming of it, i would drop her like a wet noodle and would not look back no matter what)

so as it sits now, we're still together and when we're alone, she is the exact same. she just:

a) doesn't want to spend every single night with me. she said she needs a couple of alone nights where she can do what she wants, and needs to hang out with her friends more often again too, since she was neglecting them.

b) wants to tone down the public affection. we're still allowed to do all the regular couple stuff, just not as rambunctious as before.

so this is still very much a thing, and i haven't lost her at all. she just wants to slow it down for a little bit so she can have some breathing room. she said things will be back to normal by this time next month.

i don't know if it's my fault for taking it the wrong way or her fault for explaining it the wrong way, but now that i type it, it doesn't sound too bad...but if that guy comes into the equation just once, i'm gone, and she now knows that.

thanks for all the support, guys.

btw, the fuck her mom idea? EYECH! trust me...

To make it short, she needs some time and space alone. Everybody does. But a word of warning though, 3 out of my past 4 relationships ended this way about the time and space thing. So just be prepared if anything goes wrong (knock on wood it doesent).

Antoher thing """IF""" anything does go wrong, your 19. Your still young. Its not like its going to be the end of the world. There are a lot of fishes in the ocean...go fish. :2cents:

so as it sits now, we're still together and when we're alone, she is the exact same. she just:

a) doesn't want to spend every single night with me. she said she needs a couple of alone nights where she can do what she wants, and needs to hang out with her friends more often again too, since she was neglecting them.

b) wants to tone down the public affection. we're still allowed to do all the regular couple stuff, just not as rambunctious as before.
Hmm... The "space" issue.

So, were you guys like up each other's butts all the time until now? That's a :nono:

Sounds like you need to be more of a Challenge...
http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=1550554&postcount=59

I hope that everything works out in the long run, I mean 5 months is something , even though many people do not think it, it is something because you have feelings for her and you love her, I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years almost 4, i wish ya the best of luck, and take it easy :)

the woman i love, my girlfriend of 5 months, just told me that she wants to "take a break" and cool things down a bit.

why?

because some faggot that went on the school trip to Italy with her over the march break kissed her, and now she likes him.

me and her have been together for 5 fucking months. she's known the guy for a week, kissed him once, and already has enough feelings for him to "take a break" with me.

she doesn't want to break it off completely. she wants it to cool down for a bit so she can still be with me...yet see if there's any possibility with the new guy.

meanwhile i have to restrain myself from making shit come out of this guys nose, because if i lay so much as a finger on him, she'll leave me and who knows what else will happen.

despite what happened (the kiss), i'm willing to forgive her. i love her more then anything and she is the most important thing in my life, and if she wants to be serious again i'd be more then willing...but at the same time i want to break it off completely for what she's doing to me. i put 5 fucking months into this and this guy gets her in a week? what the fuck?

i'm cursed with cars, i'm cursed with relationships...i'm not saying i'm suicidal but damn if i don't feel like not leaving my house for 10 years or so...



if you ever see the guy she kissed, tell him "she's one to not be trusted, don't say i didn't warn you"

That'll scare him.

19 years old, school trip and a kiss, 5 months? You're young, she's teasing you and building up her own ego on top of that. Teasers will always be teasers. Move on.................

scratch that.

last night, she "realized" that, since we're basically the same when we're alone, we're not on much of a "break". so she said "it's over for good". i tried to convince her not to do it. she blew up on me, and bashed me for half an hour on the phone.

go to hell, you bitch. you fuck up on your trip and i'm the one who has to pay with my heart? yeah...shows how much i really meant to you after all.

Duuude. :disappoin What did I say?

Take my advice now?

Sounds like you need to be more of a Challenge...
http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=1550554&postcount=59

PM me if you want more...

Yes. Listen to Jay.

Welcome to the "Never trust a woman" club.

Welcome to the "Never trust a woman" club.
Come on now... have faith :)

Suislide>

i wanted to say this before..

At 5 months, a relationship should be at (or at least around) an all-time high. Sex is awesome, you're still getting to know the girl, etc etc.. your partner shouldnt even be noticing other people let alone "developing feelings" for anyone. my gf had a massive row with her friends when we'd been going out, maybe at around 3-4 months, because she wouldn't stop talking about us and they were sick of it. it's not a nice thing to hear about someone you now believe is the "love of your life", but this girl simply wasnt right for you, and isnt worth you beating yourself up over it...

Solution: Fuck her mom.

MILFHUNTER!!! :ylsuper:

Dude, you're 19. There's other fish in the sea, bro. But you can still kick the dude's ass.

scratch that.

last night, she "realized" that, since we're basically the same when we're alone, we're not on much of a "break". so she said "it's over for good". i tried to convince her not to do it. she blew up on me, and bashed me for half an hour on the phone.

go to hell, you bitch. you fuck up on your trip and i'm the one who has to pay with my heart? yeah...shows how much i really meant to you after all.


I was in your shoes a year ago, and I'm still not the same after she left me a second time. I don't think I ever will be, but maybe that's a little dramatic.


It's bizzare how everything you said that happened is exactly how it went for me. 6 months into our relationship and she "wants some time apart, lets not see each other every day, etc..." She goes to France with some friends and comes back saying she likes someone else. I tried everything in my power to hold onto it, but it just digs you deeper and deeper, and the further away she pulls, the more you fucking want her. It was such a sick and twisted vicious cycle and I was ruined for months, and I'm just now functional a year later.


I know it's unthinkable, but you have to stop the cycle man...if you're anything like I was, you're still missing her and hurting every second. Maybe furious at her, but you still want her so bad. If you're stronger than I was and you're really over her for good, then good for you. Just get away at all costs because NOTHING is worth losing yourself over, not even another person.

damn brian, i just dont understand

how can girls change so quicky liek that?/

u gotta look for that shit in the beginnning of the relationship u gotta find out how they truly are

sorry man, thats hella sucks though.....that fuckin bitch, id fuck her best friend

Sorry to here the loss. :disappoin

However, you should have seen this coming. (I am a blunt person, I do not spare feelings.) When she told you that she kissed another guy, you should have called that into question immediately. When she asked for a break, you should have axed it then and there. Especially with the whole 'free to see others' thing. That line only comes out when there already is someone else. The phrase 'still together' and 'free to see others' can never be used in conjunction with one another. Ever. She knew from the time she back form the trip more than likely that she was going to end it. She probably just kept you on the hook in case the guy on the side didn't work out. You were merely a backup for her. In the future, don't put up with female mind games, you'll only hurt yourself more.

Man, you're 19 years old! Do not go into every relationship hoping for marriage. Don't expect every woman you date to be the 'one'. Take things slow and easy. Let God handle it. Not to be spiteful, but I'm 19 years old and engaged to a woman who was made for me! I'm very fortunate to have love at such a young age. Love will come dude. Unfortunately, I am a world away form my woman, everything wil come together soon. Take it easy man. :)