Rate Your Hangover

5 Levels of a Hangover


One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak& fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now...

I had a one star today. Which was suprising witht eh amount i drank last nite. i guess drinking all that water before bed helped, but gave me one hell of a piss in the morning.

ohh I had a *** today, and to find out somebody made a thread about me ahhh!!!

i had a **** new years day. Man, life was terrible at that point.

Is a 6 star a special ANZAC day rating??? Where you get up at dawn, start drinking, do a parade and try not to fall over due to excess alcohol, drink til 7 or 8 the next morning, sleep to lunch, get up, drink, go out, sleep with (something), get up, drink, die, die, die, die again, die.


Had a 5 star once, in Darwin, at work, the day AFTER the day we turned up to a RADAR course still totally fucking shattered. Started drinking at 2pm, got back to base at about 6:30am the next day after dispatching with frivolity and heavy drinking with brit back-packers, started out door course at 7am.

I had no hangover new years day, and I drank probably the most I've had to drink in years.

It was fucking great :D

Usually nowadays I'm a * or **, if anything.

I had to do an interview for an AFN Network spot with a **** hangover last week. 4 Stars are a pretty regular occurance for me here.

As if those lights on top of the camera's weren't bright enough.

"Hangovers are like children, always more fun making them than dealing with them."

I could have swore this was a :repost:

mmmmm hangovers the joy of life...
i would report for duty with at least a ***** Hangover everyday for about 6 months when i served .... tax money hard at work

i am always a 4-5, i just dont drink to get drunk that often.

After my red bull and vodka incedent, i was pushing a *****, but scott lives next door to me and I am getting used to the ** and *** varities.

Have you ever gotten in your car 12 hours after your last drink and realized you STILL were not fit to drive?

After my red bull and vodka incedent, i was pushing a *****, but scott lives next door to me and I am getting used to the ** and *** varities.

Have you ever gotten in your car 12 hours after your last drink and realized you STILL were not fit to drive?

So many fucking times it's not even funny.

Nice list, you mind if I print that out? Considering it was Spring Break last week, i'd have to say i had 3 ***'s inna row and then a *****. Yeah, and I drove drunk again. DAMMIT!! :banghead: oh well at least i got a free NIN and tricky cd out of it. Man, i gotta stop doing that. :disappoin

**** on saturday

If I watch the way I drink, I can still get drunk off my ass and wake up with one star. Two stars occasionally, but usually that's when I smoke the gonja. But when I just totally get shit faced I have 5 stars. I'm never a 3 or 4.

i had a **** new years day. Man, life was terrible at that point.
w3rd man. I felt like complete crap.