Guess who?!

Cannibals and Clowns

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Becasue they taste funny.





Linguistic Lapses

In a Bangkok dry-cleaner's shop: Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside a Hong Kong dress shop: Ladies have fits upstairs.
In a Copenhagen airline office: We take your bags & send them in all directions.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend your afternoon having a good time.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride own your own ass?





Three Stupid Wives

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were.
The Englishman says, ''I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge to keep it in.''
The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker.
''Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car,'' he laments, ''and she doesn't even know how to drive!''
The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch.
However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. ''Ah, it kills me everytime I think of it,'' he chuckles. ''My wife left to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there and she doesn't even have a penis!''



Monster Tag

There was a guy driving down the road when he ran out of gas. He went to the nearest house to ask for some gas. As soon as he opened the door it started to pour so the guy asked to stay overnight. The owner said, ''OK, but if you see a monster in the garage, whatever you do don't touch it.''
So the man went up to the guestroom but was too curious. He went down to the garage and saw the huge ugly monster. He decided to see what it would do if he threw a rock at it or made faces. He did both these but nothing happened.
So the man went and touched the monster. Up the monster jumped and chased the man all over the country. When the man got to a cliff he thought he was going to die, so he rolled up in a tiny ball.
When the monster came over he touched the man and said, ''You're it!''


:icon16:

dang toni that was not the greatest but keep em coming anyway lol

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You're special Tonio, and nobody can take that away from you.

pooor poooor toni but you are at least happy

I thought the 3 stupid wives story was pretty funny.

I thought the 3 stupid wives story was pretty funny.

I thought it was offensive. Cuzz I'm Irish. :p :thefinger

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You're special Tonio, and nobody can take that away from you.:rofl: True. So very, very true! :p

We luv ya Tonio. :D

good jokes. i still like the bad ones every once in a while.
"The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch." this was my favorite line.

HA! HA! ha...

Idk...ya know I had a good laugh! I can't help it when reading Tonio's jokes!!! :grinno:

meh... shit happens... then tonio was born :lol:

I'm here for you all! :p

The Three Wives one is awsome

hey tonio u think these up or copy and paste from somewhere?

Those that know, don't tell; those that tell, don't know! :naughty: :screwy:

l like the bonster tag hahahaha nice man!