Beat these Tonio!!!
Damien
03-07-2004, 01:01 AM
Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.
"First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees.
"What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love-struck and **very** satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
"I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"
"I can't remember, exactly ...Peter Peter, something or other...."
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Did you hear that Captain Hook died from jock itch?
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Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
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Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"
To that, Little Red Riding Hood reached into her picnic basket, pulled out a .44 magnum and said, "No! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"
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Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied, "No I didn't. I said she is fuckin' Goofy,"
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Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters whenever they had sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?
"First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees.
"What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love-struck and **very** satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
"I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"
"I can't remember, exactly ...Peter Peter, something or other...."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear that Captain Hook died from jock itch?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"
To that, Little Red Riding Hood reached into her picnic basket, pulled out a .44 magnum and said, "No! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied, "No I didn't. I said she is fuckin' Goofy,"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters whenever they had sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?
Oz
03-07-2004, 01:07 AM
:lol2::lol2::lol2:
Best jokes for a damn long time! Very good!
Best jokes for a damn long time! Very good!
TheNotoriousMogg
03-07-2004, 01:12 AM
:1:
Those were great :lol2::lol2:
Those were great :lol2::lol2:
eversio11
03-07-2004, 02:44 AM
hahaha :lol: oh man those were amazing. I didn't get the first one at first, and the little red riding hood one was kinda lame, but man.. good stuff there. :bigthumb:
Toksin
03-07-2004, 04:10 AM
Brilliant.
quarter_mile
03-07-2004, 05:07 AM
lame except for the captain hook one.
Hyatus
03-07-2004, 07:30 AM
the snow white 1 and the 1st one were great :rofl:
Zcaithaca
03-07-2004, 08:24 AM
i loved the mickey mouse one
zebrathree
03-07-2004, 08:26 AM
Brilliant.
Could this be counted as post whoring?
YOU SLUT! YOU SHOULD BE BANNED!
Could this be counted as post whoring?
YOU SLUT! YOU SHOULD BE BANNED!
YogsVR4
03-07-2004, 09:15 AM
Funny stuff :lol:
tonioseven
03-07-2004, 06:42 PM
I loved them all!! :sunglasse I'm also thinking about hanging up my joke crown :(
Toksin
03-07-2004, 06:49 PM
Could this be counted as post whoring?
YOU SLUT! YOU SHOULD BE BANNED!
Come on then.
YOU FUCKING WANT SOME?!?!?!
YOU SLUT! YOU SHOULD BE BANNED!
Come on then.
YOU FUCKING WANT SOME?!?!?!
xviciousx
03-07-2004, 07:32 PM
Pretty good... I got one:
Little Miss Muppet
sat on her tuffet
eating her curds and way
along came a spider
and sat down beside her
and said:
"What's in the bowl bitch?"
haha... ha... yeah it's dumb
Little Miss Muppet
sat on her tuffet
eating her curds and way
along came a spider
and sat down beside her
and said:
"What's in the bowl bitch?"
haha... ha... yeah it's dumb
Zcaithaca
03-07-2004, 07:40 PM
"What's in the bowl bitch?"
IM RICK JAMES BITCH!
IM RICK JAMES BITCH!
xviciousx
03-07-2004, 07:45 PM
in teh sig
KustmAce
03-07-2004, 08:19 PM
i reiterate: ...wow
Silver82x
03-10-2004, 01:09 PM
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