Pick up lines

I was just reading a thread in Stress Relief about dating and pick up lines which made me think. What is the worst/funniest pick up line you’ve ever used or had used on you?

For me it was when I was wearing a Skid Row t-shirt with “Piece of Me” on the back and a guy yelled out at me “Can I have a piece of you!”. :lol2:

I still laugh thinking about it. :lol:

The funniest one I can remember is from Family Guy, referring to twins, "I don't wanna come between you.. or do I?" :biggrin:

If I was an ion, I would deffinatly bond with you!

I still laugh my ass off thinking of that day, I was walking through the halls and one of the "nerdy" kids and his "nerdy" girlfriend were walking around with there heads against each other n stuff... wahhh that gives me the willys..

I've never used a pick up line in my life. I thought they all were corny, funny or just plain lame.

I've never used a pick up line in my life. I thought they all were corny, funny or just plain lame.But have you ever had any used on you? :p

heh, I actually heard someone use this one: "Hey, do you wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me."

My personal favorite bad pick-up line is "If I were a squirrel and you were a tree, could I bust a nut in your hole?"

:lol2:

heh, I actually heard someone use this one: "Hey, do you wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me."

My personal favorite bad pick-up line is "If I were a squirrel and you were a tree, could I bust a nut in your hole?"

:lol2:

It's supposed to be "Do you want to play Pearl Harbor? I'll lay down and you blow the hell out of me!" But it's still funny either way.

My favorite one would have to be "I know they say that milk is good for the body, but damn girl! How much do you drink?"

The greatest i heard was this ...i think 8th grader this past summer, I wa sin DC at a hoitle and some school thing but my friend and I were wonderin' around and she uses like the oldest in the book for cheesy guys!!!

"I lost my phone number, can I have yours?" I just turned and started laughing...my friend was a bit more subtle about his laughter

Hey babe....You want some fries with that shake :smooch:

That is probabally one of the most lame ones I have heard. That and

If I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it agenst me?

:icon16: :icon16:

ey babi u wanna shag......?

haha...

I've never used one or had one used on me, but my favorite has always been, "So, how about I lay on the couch and watch football while you cook me dinner for 20 years?"

- If you were homework, i'd do you on the coffee table.
- I heard you ankles were having a party. Why don't you invite your pants down?
- OK I'm here. What are your other 2 wishes?
- I can read you like an open book, but when do I get to read in braille?
- Hi, I play the piano. Mind if I practice my fingering?

But have you ever had any used on you? :p

Had a few, the best one was clearly "What are you doing tonight besides me?" :iceslolan

I just typed in 'pick up lines into google and found some strange funny stuff.
-http://www.lisnews.com/article.php3?sid=20030221000144 (librarian lines)
-http://www.humorsphere.com/sms/pick_up_lines.htm (101 pick up lines)
-http://jvj.com/bandgpic.html (Medievel pick up lines)
-http://love.astrology.com/pickuplines.html
-http://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~montymex/pickup/Intropickup.html (just a bunch of lines)

Pretty funny stuff.
I still like "If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right is Christmas, how about I come visit you between the holidays."

1-Fat penguin" (What!?) "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

2-"If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon."

3-"My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!"


4-"You must work at Subway, 'cause you just gave me a footlong."


5-"Do you want to go to breakfast?" (Sure) "Should I call you, or nudge you?"

Go up to a girl and say "Hi! My name is Haywood Jablomee"

6-"Come on sweetheart, why don't you just let me put the head in..."

7-"Mind if i stand here until it's safe where i farted" -

8-"You must wash your clothes with windex... because I can see myself in your pants!"

"Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? No? Want to go upstairs and talk?"


9-"Excuse me, is your name Gillette? cause you're the best a man can get"

10-"I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you"

"Wanna go halves on a bastard???" (Non-serious) - submitted by NeoPlasmaX


11-"Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?"


12-First buy an ice cream and find a hot girl, then say "I'm sorry to bother you, but your melting my ice cream!" -

"The word of the day is legs. Let's go back to my crib and spread the word."


13-"I'm not actually this tall, I've got this bad habit of sitting on my wallet."


14-"Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!"


15-"Excuse me. Do you want to f**k or should I apologize?"


16-"I'm going to have sex with you tonight, so... you might as well be there."


17-"What's your name? Where you from? Do you plan on giving me some?"

"Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway."

"Nice shoes, wanna f**k?"


18-"What do you say we go back to my crib and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply."


19-"Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours."


20-You say "Do you want to do a 68?" she says "What's that?" you say "You go down, and I'll owe you one."


21-"Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, "f**k it". "


22-"Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation, to feel penetration. a guy sticks his location in a girl's destination, to increase the population for the next generation, did you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?"


23-"Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under."


24-"Sex is like Pringles: once you pop, you can't stop. "


25-"Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it. "


26-"Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart."


27-"The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name. "


28-"Will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into that cheap motel room."


29-"I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down."


30-"What smiles, winks, is hung like a horse, and can last all night long?" (smile and wink) :naughty:


31"I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast."


32-"Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?"


33-"I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears. "


34-"Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?"


35-"I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good."


36-"If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?"


37-"What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?"


39-"You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad."


40-you say "You look just like my first wife" she says "How many times have you been married?" you say "never".


41-"If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever. "


42-"you say "I'm sorry, but you owe me a drink" she says "Why?" you say "Because I dropped mine when I looked at you"


43-"If I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit! "


44-"If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world."


45-"Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend? "


46-"When God made you, he was showing off."


47-"If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents. "


48-"My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in
the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?"


49-"When I'm older looking back at all of my finest memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you. "


50-"I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you."


51-"Do you remember when you were a little kid and you wanted a toy really bad when you went to the store, but your mom wouldn't let you get it, no matter how much you begged?? Well that's how I feel about you."


52-"It's not my fault I fell in love, you're the one who tripped me! "


53-"Why do you have to be so damn fine every single day? Can't you take a break and let me concentrate on something else for a change? "


54-"Love ain't nothin' but sex misspelled. "


55-"I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours? "


56-"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by you again?"


57-"Hey baby, is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would like to tap that ass! "


58-"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"


59-"How about you come sit on my lap and we talk about the first thing that "pops" up!"


60-"If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?"


61-"Could I touch your belly button...from the inside

" wow that shert(or whatever) is really becoming on you, but if I where on you, I'd be cumming too"

One used one me: "Am I drunk enough for you to take advantage of yet?"

ShortyDTP please don't tell me you've used that entire list! :uhoh:


:lol: :D

You want to tie me up and spank me like a bad puppy?

I already posted this over in stress release, but "do you like math? I think we should add you and me, subtract your clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

i've used this one on ally before and she liked it alot:

"hey would you like some coffee? (no) Why not? you wouldn't want something hot and black inside of you?":naughty::evillol:


my other favorite: "if you were a bag of chips and i was a battery, you'd be fri-to-lay, and i'd be eveready":p

Hey wanna come to a party (yes) well their is a party in your mouth and im the only one cummin :icon16:

29-"I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down."



:lol2: I'm gonna try that on a girl, just for fun. Maybe when I'm drunk :uhoh:

Ok.. This isn't exactly a 'pick-up line' in the traditional sense of the words, but I'm sure if applied properly it COULD be (and this is an actual CNN article I saw back in October) :

In a study performed at North Carolina State University of over 15,000 women, those who performed the act of fellatio and swallowed semen on a regular basis, one to two times a week, should reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent.

"...so, help ME to help YOU, ladies!!! :lol: :lol:

fellatio?

Ok.. This isn't exactly a 'pick-up line' in the traditional sense of the words, but I'm sure if applied properly it COULD be (and this is an actual CNN article I saw back in October) :



"...so, help ME to help YOU, ladies!!! :lol: :lol:

That turned out to be a hoax. I think it turned out to be a guy that lived in my area. He posted it on the internet falsely stating that it was a CNN article. But it's still funny nonetheless! And there are definitely some chicks over at State that I'd like to help out :naughty:

fellatio?

pretty word for blow job.

*walk up to female, grab ice cube out of her drink, throw on ground*

"well baby, now that we've broken the ice..."

"here baby, i wrote you a poem:
Roses Are Red
Violets Are Blue
I Like Spaghetti
Let's Go Fuck."

(and this is an actual CNN article I saw back in October)Too bad it was fake. ;)

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/11/24/1069522535088.html?from=storyrhs

No this is the ones I like and use sometimes .....

Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?"

*First buy an ice cream and find a hot girl, then say "I'm sorry to bother you, but your melting my ice cream

*Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours

My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in
the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?"