I want to be like him

Ok so I don't want to sound like a pussy here, but I have this friend and for some reason, his life is making me look deeper into mine. . .

I'll start off with myself. I am not the best looking guy in town, but im not some freakishly ugly person. I have a shitload of personality and humor, I have a ton of friends, and im pretty smart. I have common sense, people skills, and a decent amount of loot. I smoke, I drink, I do anything that everyone else does, i am always in on the party. But I have girl problems. I can talk to a girl with no problem. I know a ton of them, but I don't know them, if you know what I mean. I've had my share of flings, but never a real relationship. I'm not sure if I want one, but I just dont understand something . . .

Now to my friend. He's a good looking guy, they one that all the girl are like "oooo ahhhh, he's so pretty". But this guy has barely any personality, and the part of him that is somewhat easy to get along with can burst out at you like "whoa there you need to shutup before you embaress yourself". He's kind of funny, he's real smart, and has little common sense. The only money he has is from his parents. He doesnt drink, he smokes whenever he is offered, and he rarely gets any partying done. He's basically a pussy and an asshole mixed together, kind of like a womens crotch area. basically what I mean by that is he's a wuss, he looks good but smells fishy, he is hard to get to and he just sits around, and he rarely talks but when he does, no one wants to hear him. This guy can't talk to girls for shit by the way.

Ok heres the story. So we both know this group of girls, all of them are cute, easy to get along with, and are willing to have a good time. everyone one of the girls likes this guy, but i'm sure it's just because of his looks (if they really got to know him, they would walk away from him). They all like me too, but not in the same way. They like me because they can talk to me and tell me their problems.

finally, the questions. SO whats wrong here?? Am I just over-reacting because they are all over this guy, or are they just dirty sluts looking for some fun? Should I be talking to other people, or are they just gonna do the same thing. And does it get better. . .as I mature older, are women going to mature too and really look for something better in a guy, or do I need to do something to make them pay more attention to me. I am sorry I bored you for so long, and if you didnt read my story there is no point in answering my questions. If any ladies would like to respond, That would be great, I need an opinion from the other side :biggrin:

Character assasination is usually considered a negative personality trait. You can start there.

how old are you & these people?

Does your friend even want girls? If he doesn't I don't think you should call him an asshole... I would say to sit down and think some more about what you are saying.

I'm going to be extremely blunt in my opinion so don't read any furthur if you don't want to hear it.

If this guy is really your "friend" you wouldn't be so pissed off that girls are more interested in him and things of that sort. Instead you can find out what you want to fix in your life and fix it. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself is not going to do anyone any good except cause you to lapse into depression. What is wrong here? Well your starting to cross that line of low self esteem, if you keep crossing that line you'll never get your life to where you want it to be.

The main problem I can see is that you've taken the deadly friend role, these girls want to talk to you about their problems, which thats a good thing if you just wanna be Mr.Nice guy. You won't get anywhere really with this group of girls so look for another group of girls to date. Once you become the friend you have a slim chance of dating them since you look at you in a different light.

Look at the more "successful" people, chances are your life is better than theres but your lacking in one specific category, usually something easily changed. And if your feeling particularly bad about yourself one day look around and pick 5 guys, and think "Ok Im better than him, him, him, him, and him, but that guy over theres better than me". Sounds stupid but it helps. Sorry to sound blunt but you'll never help yourself without someone telling it like it is.

Cloak, thanks for that enlightment I never saw it that way. I am in college, and you don't get what I mean by calling him an asshole. he is not an ass because he gets girls, he really is an asshole. The only way he gets laughs is when he makes fun of people, and his whole attitude towards everything is dark. And ive already reached that depression point, I have many other problems in my life that will have to fix themsleves. If i wasn't already depressed, I don't think I would care about this shit.

This is just like the play 'Cyrano de Bergerac.' Its also just like my life. I dont know what you should do, because if I knew then I'd be out doing it. I do know that you shouldn't be pissed at your friend. Another thing, try not to listen to girls' problems anymore. I'm the same way you are, I can't help that I help people. When you meet a new girl, approach her from a relationship standpoint, not a "I'm here to listen to you" standpoint. That's all I can tell you at this point.

Good luck.

he really is an asshole. The only way he gets laughs is when he makes fun of people, and his whole attitude towards everything is dark.
Ah ok I see what you mean, I know alot of guys just like that. But even more reason to believe you are better than him. I would personally be myself than some guy that gets thousands of women, and has a horrible personality. You just have to realise that theres nothing wrong with you except your a nice guy.

I think the big problem here is your looking into the wrong group of girls, go to a bar or since your in college its the perfect place to meet women, but try to find women that don't already know you so that they won't have that friend thing going already.

Also look for "women" and not "girls" theres a major difference, in my experience I have noticed that theres a big difference between the two and the "women" (who can be just more mature girls in any age group), tend to look more towards personality than just pure looks. You might have better luck with these type of women.

And ive already reached that depression point, I have many other problems in my life that will have to fix themsleves. If i wasn't already depressed, I don't think I would care about this shit.

You just have to work at this and you'll eventually get it sorted. Just take everything with a grain of salt, if its not important screw it, and some things you can't change but you can change a whole hell of alot by just having a different attitude towards life. I've seen some of the "not so studly" type of guys get really really hot girls and they do it because they have good personalities and just ooze of confidence, not over-confidence but just enough. Trust me they leave everyone going secretly in their head "damn..wish I was like that".

Believe it or not some women actually are superficial and do like being treated like shit. I'm not saying that you should go treat women like shit, but you should wait to find one mature enough to know that she likes to be treated good. For example, my wife and I set her friend up with a mutual friend who was a great guy, but not the most attractive. At the same time she had met another friend's boss, basically a jerk. She dated our friend for a while and decided he wasn't for her exactly. So she starts dating this other guy who is a complete jerk and she wants to break up with him, but can't bring herself to do it.

Women :rolleyes:

Fuck it. You got it all wrong. I had a friend like that in middle and high school. Girls would love him, and I never hated on him. After a week or so, they hated him, and were still trying to get me to comfort them. Actually, I was in those shoes with a lot of my buddies, I always had ass on call. Polish the game, that's all. Be that shoulder to cry on. And never hate the fake, they will burn themselves. Just do you, and the next thing you know, broads will see that shit is real as fuck. I love the pussy-asshole-combo-like a woman's crotch-thing though. That's funny as shit. With a sense of humor like that, you should be in the pussy no-prob. Good luck,

NOBU

I'm sure some of you have heard this schpiel, keep in mind I am not religious...

A lot of guys who are unhappy look for girls to "fix" them. Some people do it with girls, some with money, some with skiing, some with heroin... at the end of the day it's not a person, place or thing that's going to make you feel better. The good feeling is only temporary, whatever problem you are trying to escape from will be there when you fall back down.

The best advice I can give you is to hit your knees and say a prayer. Regardless of what you think you believe, you'll get something out of it if you hit your knees.

I'm sure some of you have heard this schpiel, keep in mind I am not religious...

A lot of guys who are unhappy look for girls to "fix" them. Some people do it with girls, some with money, some with skiing, some with heroin... at the end of the day it's not a person, place or thing that's going to make you feel better. The good feeling is only temporary, whatever problem you are trying to escape from will be there when you fall back down.

The best advice I can give you is to hit your knees and say a prayer. Regardless of what you think you believe, you'll get something out of it if you hit your knees.

I hit my knees yesterday while playing basketball....now I'm having trouble walking. :icon16:

I'm sure some of you have heard this schpiel, keep in mind I am not religious...

A lot of guys who are unhappy look for girls to "fix" them. Some people do it with girls, some with money, some with skiing, some with heroin... at the end of the day it's not a person, place or thing that's going to make you feel better. The good feeling is only temporary, whatever problem you are trying to escape from will be there when you fall back down.

The best advice I can give you is to hit your knees and say a prayer. Regardless of what you think you believe, you'll get something out of it if you hit your knees.
Who the fuck goes skiing because they can't get pussy? That's the REASON to go to the snow. :D

Was saying go skiing as a way to fix being unhappy. Skiing is definately fun ;) kind of expensive though.

I'm sure some of you have heard this schpiel, keep in mind I am not religious...

The best advice I can give you is to hit your knees and say a prayer. Regardless of what you think you believe, you'll get something out of it if you hit your knees.

I see a repeating theme all over AF, this can go no where good. :uhoh:

Prayer never hurt anyone. I think asterox is right. If you need guidance, pray to your Maker. I also think if you just want some more girls, polish that game up.

I never said prayer hurts anyone. I said that the discussion of religion from what I have seen, seems to go nowhere good. Theres about 3-4 threads on religion already that started to go bad.

I never said prayer hurts anyone. I said that the discussion of religion from what I have seen, seems to go nowhere good. Theres about 3-4 threads on religion already that started to go bad.

Religion is a common set of beliefs about a high power/force/system.

Prayer is just an attempt to communicate with something beyond communication at the moment.

Who/what you pray to depends on your spiritual beliefs. If you share those beliefs with a group of people, they become religious beliefs.

Religion is a common set of beliefs about a high power/force/system.

Prayer is just an attempt to communicate with something beyond communication at the moment.

Who/what you pray to depends on your spiritual beliefs. If you share those beliefs with a group of people, they become religious beliefs.

Thank you for treating me like I have an IQ of 5 and explaining basic religious terms. Sadly that has nothing to do with why prayer "hurts" anyone which I do not read anyone said. I was commenting on the sudden outbreak of religious discussions, it seems nothing is safe from this on-going argument.

. I was commenting on the sudden outbreak of religious discussions, it seems nothing is safe from this on-going argument.

Most anything of importance eventually hinges on some things that are unknown. That is why it is important to put our heads together and come to the best understanding of what the most likely truth is.

See the other thread also...

I have had this problem many times, and now im in the best position in my life, im in love and have been with my g/f for a year now :smile:

I just thought to myself, why drag it on, i like this girl, she keeps talking to me at school, we go for walks together, we talk on the net, so obviously she doesnt mind me that much, so finally one day i found my balls, and put them to use, i asked her out, and that is my suggestion to you, pick out the girl that you like the most, and find your balls dude. just kinda, get to talking to her a bit more than usuall, hang out a bit more, but dont be all going out of your way to do everything for her, then sometime just call her up and ask her out or sumthin,

the moral of the story is. Find your balls man, :iceslolan

i hear that... Maybe you should also make yourself more attractive.. i.e., workout more, or change your clothes.. step it up a notch, I did that and the ladies' heads turn all the time.

They like me because they can talk to me and tell me their problems.

most of my guy friends who i can easily talk to have developed feelings for me over time. :banghead: sometimes it's hard to deal with that:uhoh:

And does it get better. . .as I mature older, are women going to mature too and really look for something better in a guy, or do I need to do something to make them pay more attention to me.

YES, it will get better;) as we mature.. MOST of us:sly: will like a person more for his or her personality over looks or :2cents::sly: just be yourself ;)

i hear that... Maybe you should also make yourself more attractive.. i.e., workout more, or change your clothes.. step it up a notch

:sly::grinno:

I have had this problem many times, and now im in the best position in my life, im in love and have been with my g/f for a year now :smile:

I just thought to myself, why drag it on, i like this girl, she keeps talking to me at school, we go for walks together, we talk on the net, so obviously she doesnt mind me that much, so finally one day i found my balls, and put them to use, i asked her out, and that is my suggestion to you, pick out the girl that you like the most, and find your balls dude. just kinda, get to talking to her a bit more than usuall, hang out a bit more, but dont be all going out of your way to do everything for her, then sometime just call her up and ask her out or sumthin,

the moral of the story is. Find your balls man, :iceslolan

completely agree. pick the one your focusing on, see what the deal is. if she doesn't like you, move on, eventually you find another girl and tell her you like her... go for what YOU want. repeat until happy.

Here is a couple of more things.

Network. Get to know lots of people and use those contacts to meet new or different women. Get out and socialise more. Girls hate it when some guy latches on to them. But they are attracted to a popular, socialising kind of guy, especially one who is too busy being popular to freak them out with too much attention.

Also, try to meet girls with a less self centered attitude. Many younger urban kids seem to have been spoiled by daddy and are not well adjusted. Generally, girls of immigrant parents or who have grown up in small towns tend, but not always, have better attitudes.

Finally, girls do become much better as they mature. Much better. After they have a few relationships with loser assholes, they learn to appreciate solid and stable personality characteristics over looks.

Ok so I don't want to sound like a pussy here, but I have this friend and for some reason, his life is making me look deeper into mine. . .

I'll start off with myself. I am not the best looking guy in town, but im not some freakishly ugly person. I have a shitload of personality and humor, I have a ton of friends, and im pretty smart. I have common sense, people skills, and a decent amount of loot. I smoke, I drink, I do anything that everyone else does, i am always in on the party. But I have girl problems. I can talk to a girl with no problem. I know a ton of them, but I don't know them, if you know what I mean. I've had my share of flings, but never a real relationship. I'm not sure if I want one, but I just dont understand something . . .

Now to my friend. He's a good looking guy, they one that all the girl are like "oooo ahhhh, he's so pretty". But this guy has barely any personality, and the part of him that is somewhat easy to get along with can burst out at you like "whoa there you need to shutup before you embaress yourself". He's kind of funny, he's real smart, and has little common sense. The only money he has is from his parents. He doesnt drink, he smokes whenever he is offered, and he rarely gets any partying done. He's basically a pussy and an asshole mixed together, kind of like a womens crotch area. basically what I mean by that is he's a wuss, he looks good but smells fishy, he is hard to get to and he just sits around, and he rarely talks but when he does, no one wants to hear him. This guy can't talk to girls for shit by the way.

Ok heres the story. So we both know this group of girls, all of them are cute, easy to get along with, and are willing to have a good time. everyone one of the girls likes this guy, but i'm sure it's just because of his looks (if they really got to know him, they would walk away from him). They all like me too, but not in the same way. They like me because they can talk to me and tell me their problems.

finally, the questions. SO whats wrong here?? Am I just over-reacting because they are all over this guy, or are they just dirty sluts looking for some fun? Should I be talking to other people, or are they just gonna do the same thing. And does it get better. . .as I mature older, are women going to mature too and really look for something better in a guy, or do I need to do something to make them pay more attention to me. I am sorry I bored you for so long, and if you didnt read my story there is no point in answering my questions. If any ladies would like to respond, That would be great, I need an opinion from the other side :biggrin:

The way I see it...high school girls try to get the best looking guy they can(regardless of wether or not they really like him) just to show off in front of other girls. Some females have this type of competition which I think is really shitty.

"He's like an asshole and a pussy" What a nice thing to say about your friend. Ass.

It's okay...you'll find a girl that loves you for who you are. Actually, no you won't cuz that shit never happens. Only in stupid love-story movies. Learn to deal with it.

Don't let it get to you. All you have to do is tell those girls a bunch of false rumors about him so they don't like him anymore and they'll start liking you. And after you get these girls...all the other guys will be jealous of you. Girls do it all the time...it works.

"You're acting like you're doin me a favor by givin me pussy but baby...you're gettin dick"-Tupac