Need some help guys

ok its my time now, i had a BIG fight with my girlfriend and it was all my fault!! i reget it so much now and i want her back so much but i hurt her to much and she doesn't want to see me at the moment, she say that she wants some time apart to think but i'm so heart broke i haven't been giving her the time she wants, i'm always thinking about her and wanting to see her

so guys what can i do to keep my mind off her and give her the time she needs???

:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

Hey dude. Sorry to hear about this. It sounds like something similar to what I went through when i broke up with my ex 3 months ago.

Not sure if this is the situation, but we never actually had an argument when we broke up. She said that she needed some time and space, and I gave it to her. The thing was that that allowed her to decide that she didn't actually want to be in a relationship in the first place.

But you know what the good thing was. i decided I didn't want to be in a relationship either. We were at the stage where we lived and breathed each other, and in a way it meant that we actually both lost ourselves. In any relationship I get into from now on, I know I must respect the other persons freedom to be by themselves, have their own time and space. The thing is that I thought I didn't want my freedom when I was in a relationship, however after coming out of it it was the biggest thing that I missed.

Give her time, and try not to bug her too much. You can say that you are sorry for having an argument with her if it was your fault, however sometimes an argument is just a sign of deeper troubles or giving it a reason for things to end.

As far as my advice goes, I don't think that being in my situation is exactly the same, however I know that when I stopped calling my ex, and getting on with other things, was when she flet like she was losing me forever and wanting me back. The thing was when that happened, I didn't actually want her back.

thank you my friend :)

i'm only 20years old and this is my first true love, i gave her everything and i loved her so much, and still love her

we have been going out close to 2 years now, but i was her friend to start with and within the time we have been going out we were very close, we probaby see each other nearly everyday if we don't see each other she or i will always call, our love was so strong until i fucked it all up and i will give anything to turn back time to fix it

i want to give her the time she needs but i'm scared she will move on, when i saw her last time we was so strong, like she didn't need me anymore, i'm so scared i'm going to lose her forever i can't take it anymore, i want her back

so when did you stopped calling your ex Worshp?? cause i want her to want me

thank you again

No probs man..hang in there!

Stopping calling my ex all happened in one day. I had called her in the afternoon after about 2 months from breaking up. Before then we had been basically talking everyday and ended up crying without fail everytime. What finally clicked inside me was that I didn't need to go through all of this shit. I could live and survive without her, and it was better to know now that she wasn't the right one for me than find out when most of my life was over.

I also went out with my ex for 2 years, and I loved her as much as you do with your girlfriend. The thing was that all that love meant that I had to give up things which now I wouldn't be prepared to do. I sold my beautiful S6 RX7 for her, got into a house I wasn't sure about buying and stopped making friends and going out because it was what I thought she wanted.

True love is unconditional, yet when i think back oon it now, there were a lot of conditions...even though they were unspoken. We never had an argument, and that really frustrated me because i was never able to vent my true feelings. We never tried to do different things together and we always did stuff because we thought that that was what a couple wanted to do.

I know this is hard, but you have got a whole lot of your life ahead of you. You are 20, and I am 27. When I was 20 I was in a 6 year relationship until 24 and then in this last one until 26. I never got to experience the freedom and happiness of being a single person and only having to worry about yourself. And I can tell you now as a 27 year old who basically was married for the last 8 years of my life, that the feeling of being single and being able to work on being yourself and a better person is the best feeling I have had in my life!

Don't miss out on what is so important, and that is to grow into someone that you want to be, not what someone else wants you to be.

If you want to email me, email me @ [email protected]

thats what all my friends have been telling me, that i'm young and i shouldn't settle down yet, and try new thing, but i can't i want a long term thing, i want her to be my wife later in life, she is my first love and i want her to be my only love and i want to grow old with her.

you're a very strong man ben and i don't know how to handle things, i hope everything will be better but i can't get my mind of her, i have a b18c sitting in my back yard and i don't even care about my cars now, i would sell everything for her just to get her back

thank you ben :) you have made my day abit better, i'm going to take my ek for a drive now and clear my head

Originally posted by evil_elmo
you're a very strong man ben and i don't know how to handle things, i hope everything will be better but i can't get my mind of her, i have a b18c sitting in my back yard and i don't even care about my cars now, i would sell everything for her just to get her back

I said exactly the same thing about my CRX when we broke up...but trust me, I love cars, and I want to be with someone that loves me for everything, not pressuring me to change myself into someone that she want's me to be.

I'll tell you what REALLY helped me a lot!

Write down in a diary everything you are feeling, and I mean everything...I filled up pages and pages with shit about her, and who I thought she was..what I liked and what I didn't. In the end there were quite a lot of things I didn't like about her and so I stopped putting her on a pedastal and started to see her for who she really was. This helped me to realise that she was not 'perfect' for me, and there were a lot of things that I saw that I probably couldn't cope with if we were to be together for the rest of our lives.

I know exactly the feeling regarding wanting to be in a relationship and to be married with her, but in all honesty, sometimes when you are apart you can see a clearer picture. I still think about my ex and how wonderful she was, but to stop thinking like that I can think of all the pain and the hurt she caused me. The thing is that this has happened now, and from now on you will have memories about what it is that she has done to you.

What did you actually do to make her feel this way, because the thing is that she may have been feeling like this for some time.

Here are some words that I wrote while waiting for you to reply.

Have no regrets, don't hide away, love your life, and be aware of what makes up the essence of life, don't be afraid of the things you can't change, and don't fear change because change is only a natural part of life.

From now on you can be whoever you want to be, you don't have to answer to anyone but yourself. If you were to die tomorrow, then die without regret and know that you gave your life your best. You are stronger than sadness, regret and fear. All that you have to lose by giving your best is your inhibition to succeed. If I fall in love again I have succeeded in getting over the loves in my past. If I am dumped I have succeeded in being apart from someone who was not meant for me. Life is about living for now and the future because one thing we cannot ever do is change what happened in the past. You can change what happens from now on, and you can decide the way that you deal with this. Ask yourself this question. “Is this an opportunity to meet someone special that will love you unconditionally, or waste away your own special life for someone who doesn’t?”

Hey evil...im sorry to hear..
Ok...
Well...from past experience...make sure you dont lose it...yes i agree...keep ya mind off things...take ya car for a drive...hang with friends...just one thing you make sure not to do is that...not to party too much to keep ya mind off things...coz if she finds out...(you know how women think)...she will think...'oh he's having a good time without me'...or something along the lines...

Ok...she need time alone...give her space but not too much...coz she might drift. DONT push her...give her time and support. Mmmm...i dont know what you did...but you seem pretty upset...so the way i run by is that...if your relationship is strong...and you two love each other deeply...you two will pull through...and once you past that stage...your relationship will be stronger...mmm...not sure i helped...coz i dont know what you did...but good luck buddy,..

and remember...'keep ya head up'

later.

Christ im gone for 5 mins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man i hope i made it in time. I really wanna give u advice, because i know exactly wat u going through, it sounds so similar to my ex gal!! I want to help and pass on sum of my experiences that i think will help u in this, as in making the right decisions, but first remember this:
People can give advice, but really, u will do wateva U THINK is necessary, cos u have to experience it, life is very hard sumtimes! My famous quote "we can only show u the door, u must walk through it" Morphus The matrix!! Hence matrix on my car! Im obsessed!

I had lots of advice wen i broke from my gal, but i took none of it, cos i was so desperate to get her back, i really was cut up!! I was exactly the same, fri nite we were tight as, then at the end of the nite, i was a sad guy, fuk knws why, but was really sad! Being mean, u know, then the next day boom, it was over, and shit, she really didnt wanna see me, nothing eh, this advice i got was not to bother her, but i decided to neways, i went around as a surprise visit, she had no idea i was coming around, this was a bad idea, it was in concrete after i did this. I then realized i was never getting her back, which was one, very hard, two good also, because i knew i had to get on with this, and deal with it!

I stopped eating for over a week, lost a bt of weight, and i think u seen a pic of me, im a skinny dude (wirey i say) so my parents were getting reel worried. My car took a turn for the worse, i didn’t have fun driving it (man i was bad) and nething i did, playstaion, drinking, with mates, nething i was not happy, nothing ever in the world could make me happy, only she could! My ex was my first love, and also i spent soo much time with her that it wasnt funny, same as worshp, didnt ever have one min spare, it was really hardcore with her, very unhealthy, in 2.5 years, me and mi high school luv were so tight that the lifestyle change after it all was soo daunting that i was getting sick, i wasnt healthy mentally! I would never get into a deal like that again, like i would love sum1 that much again, but i really need mi time with mi car, to play station, to do wateva i want!

At the time, i thought, man im never going with another girl. But Honestly man its like this, things happen for a reason, and boy is it hard, but really this might be the way its gonna be, and eventually u'll realize this as i did!

And then worshp broke up, and i emailed him to try and lend sum advice, but man, he has it sorted now!! I have a new respect again for u Worshp, really intelligent man u are, moving words, and very thought out things to say, man it meant something to me, reading this thread! Makes mi advice to u sound like crap!

But elmo, look for ur mates for comfort, and stay strong, i hope i had sumthing good to say, if u wanna ring me, or wateva, mail me and ill forward the number. Cos i is only 21, and its so far, the toughest thing i did, really was a grown up thing, i was surprised at how gutted i was.

Stay strong, and u'll work through it, remember if ur happy with ur self, ur happy with ur life. Forgive ur self for ur mistake, and realize it wasnt ur fault, and realize, if u didnt do this, she would have, like with me, i had no balls to break up, but i was mean (dunno y) and she left, like i forced her to hate me, then she went, but man i am reel happy now, and me and my ex are very good mates, but not like that ;)

peace out buddy!! (sorry for the 722 words!!)

THANK U :)

you guys are like a second family for me, all my friends work during the day and i turn to shit cause i just think to much then i will do someone dumb like try see her then i will drive her away more

reading all this and hearing all everyone has said to me, i'm very confused at the moment, all i know is that i want her back but i'm going to give her time but i'm still going to drop off a single red rose every week, just to say i'm still here and i still love her

thank you everyone, you guys are the best!!!!

Toy and I went pretty much through the same thing..I mean, i had real difficulty eating, so I made sure that whenever I had a craving for something, I ate it as fast as I could....mince pies at 2am...just get one or two or 6!....garlic mussles...get them....you just have to be sure that you get as much energy as you can because believe me, crying and worrying is as hard as running a marathon every day.

I know exactly how you both feel about the never wanting to see another woman, and thinking that this woman is completely the right one. I remember crying to my mum on the phone and saying how beautiful she was, and all the things that she did for me, but what I also realised is that no one person should rule that much of your life. There is only so much you should expect from someone else and I think both her and I expected perfection.

You know how I said that it clicked for me one day. Well it was almost 2 months later (everybody copes with these things in different ways), and I actually physically said to myself, I am not going to let this ruin my life. I started to think about all the positive things that I had..my friends who respected me so much, my love of cars, my career, my education, my health, my direction in life...and I started to realise that this part, the relationship part was only a part of me that had ended, but at the same time, the excitement was that it was a new beginning. And guess what?

The next day I flew to Auckland, I was a completely different person. Honestly if you had talked to me the day before and then the next day, you would swear that I had a split personality. And it came to me that I have the opportunity to find someone that I truly care for, respect, love unconditionally and I can go through the whole falling in love thing again. I know this sounds scary, because it was totally scary when I first broke up to think "god I have to do the whole single thing again", but in being scary, it is actually challenging yourself to find out who you are and what you really want!

And you know, when I was in Auckland I met my indian lady...Miss India. And she is completely different to my ex, and in many ways I am so glad that I have been given the opportunity to rewrite my life again! I am falling in love all over again, and I am at one with myself. I don't have to rush into anything for the sake of comfort, I can actually get into something that I truly want to be in.

The old expression, there are other fish in the sea, seemed like such a load of bollocks to me 3 months ago, but my man, this is so true, and there are probably more fish out there that are as perfect for you or even more so than the person you are breaking up with.

My life now vs what it was when I was with my ex was like comparing Summer to Winter. Now in the summer, my heart is warm, life is full of opportunity and my head is the clearest it has ever been. During my winter with my ex I was starting to resent not being myself, and just coping with the dark days, hoping that someday my heart would again feel the heat of summer. Now that I am free, I look on life in a completely different way, and the person that I want to be with needs to be able to see that life is about change, opportunity, growth and freedom, not about routine, contraction, rules and stagnation.

Originally posted by evil_elmo
reading all this and hearing all everyone has said to me, i'm very confused at the moment, all i know is that i want her back but i'm going to give her time but i'm still going to drop off a single red rose every week, just to say i'm still here and i still love her

thank you everyone, you guys are the best!!!!

OK...this is my advice...you can take it or leave it.

I'm not sure what you did....and I suppose in some way it has a bearing on what has happened, but.

Assuming it was just a general argument, this may have just provided her with the opportunity to get out. If this is the case then it doesn't really matter what you do because she wont come back to you, and giving her roses etc, will just make her feel more and more trapped. Everytime I said to my ex can't we work this out, or talk about it or whatever, this just made her even more resentful...the only recurring theme with her was that she wanted space, to not be in a relationship right now, and to work out her life. I should have seen these things as a sign because nowhere in there did she say, I will work this out for myself and then i'll be back...or yes I will discuss this with you in a weeks time. Basically it had already ended in her mind, but it hadn't clicked for me in mine.

My advice is this:

If your expectations are low you won't be shocked if she doesn't come back to you but if she does you will be really happy

If your expectations are high you will be devastated if she doesn't come back to you, and if she does then your expectations will only be met.

Set realistic expectations to avoid being hurt.

I wish you well, and if you need to talk i'm only an email or phonecall away.

Originally posted by Worshp
however after coming out of it
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
I miss all the good stuff! ;)



Damn you guys all sound pathetic!
and they say Kiwi men can't comunicate. I might just have to save this page to show the next g/f who tries to tell me that.




So what did you do Elmo that is so terriable?
You sound like your really in love and in deep trouble?

But just remember one thing, 20 is still young, I know plenty of people who have broken up after 2yr long relationships all in thier early 20s. (I tend to wisen up early, and dont drag it on that long. ;) ). So if you can try and take a good objective look at whats going on, and how you really honestly deep down feel about her.
If you geunily believe you absolutly love her like nothing else in the world, and you cant imagine another day with out her then some damage control is called for, and if she feels the same way about you, (which is a required part of you loving her) then you will be alright eventualy.

If however you prehaps dont love as much as you might think you do, then maybe its time to say goodbye and move on. Its a hard thing to do, but in the end will be worth it. :)

we just had fight and one thing led to another and by the time i knew what i loss it was to late

our fight wasn't anything that big when i think about it and when i look back i wish i never started it, it is the biggest mistake and reget in my life

Worshp are you still going past chch on the way down??

OK.....girls perspective...

When she states she wants space, I agree that you should try and honour that wish even though it may be hard. The more you attempt to contact her, the more she will want to run.

Like some of the others said, she will feel more smothered, and might feel it was the right thing to do (split up). Even the roses may be a bit much.

If she truly wants to be in a relationship with you, she will come back to you.

I agree the argument may have brought up issues, or a reason for her to get out. Especially if this was her first major relationship. Sometimes girls can just feel like its getting too serious, and want out.

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this pain. That's life unfortunately, and if it was meant to be it will work out.

Cheer up ok

Originally posted by evil_elmo
we just had fight and one thing led to another and by the time i knew what i loss it was to late

Worshp are you still going past chch on the way down??

Yeah, I am still coming thru ChCh on the way to Dunedin for Christmas...I can meet you somewhere if you give me your cell#...I think the ferry arrives in Picton at about 11am on the 24th Dec, so I should be in ChCh by around 3? It would be good to catch up for a bite to eat and a coffee, and we can talk about cars/women and whatever else you have on your mind.

So, are you feeling any different today?

i'm very sad today, i'm aways sad in the morning now, since i know i have lost the one thing i loved so much and don't know what to do with my life anymore :(

Spunkymonkey thank you for your word, i like hearing from a girls point of view.......i've also talked to my brother girlfriend and she told me that when she has a fight with my bro and say she doesn't want to talk or see him really means she does, the normal NO means a YES?? is that what my girlfriend is doing???? or will i really drive her away??

and ben it would be great to meet up and i would like to thank you in person for all the support you have given to me

here is my cellphone number
021 818 188

hay elmo, if i have learnt nething about gals in all mi realationships, even the short couple i have had since the break up from mi long term one (been broken up 6months now) is that wen gals say space, give it, and dont even send the rose thing, cos she will feel trapped, and u will seem like in her face sorta thing, like wen she is alone for 5mins, u do sum thing to make her think of u, and its only bad, trust me, shes thinking of u, just cos she says keep away, doesnt mean she ant thinking of u every min too! Give her the space, remember the heart grows founder thing wen ur away, if its meant to be she will return, just give space, and dont do nething silly if u see her out with the gals, or nething, u know, cos she will be just trying to give her mind a rest by not thinking of u i think!

PS. I HAVE met soo many different gals lately, man its soo fun going on dates and stuff, had dates with soo many hot chicks, man its cool, Worshp, i got this other one lined up now, one i ant told u about, she said she keen on me!!yay me!! WOnder wats gonna happen ;)

See everything works out!! ;)

Originally posted by evil_elmo
i'm very sad today, i'm aways sad in the morning now, since i know i have lost the one thing i loved so much and don't know what to do with my life anymore :(

Spunkymonkey thank you for your word, i like hearing from a girls point of view.......i've also talked to my brother girlfriend and she told me that when she has a fight with my bro and say she doesn't want to talk or see him really means she does, the normal NO means a YES?? is that what my girlfriend is doing???? or will i really drive her away??

and ben it would be great to meet up and i would like to thank you in person for all the support you have given to me

here is my cellphone number
021 818 188

Has anything like this happened before?

Hey man, I have learned to never be in the stage where I love something so much that I lose myself and feel like I have no direction in life anymore. Your life is too special and you were put here for a reason, and that reason is not to waste it away. I so completely know how you feel, but if she is feeling this way now you don't want to be living in fear that the next time you get into an argument she will do exactly the same thing.

Fear is a good thing to have, but not when it stops you from living your life. I know that this may sound harsh, but in a way if you continue to pursue her when she says she needs space, it shows that you are desperate for her and rely on her perhaps more than she can cope with. If you can show that you don't depend on her and are capable of leading your own life, she will be able to see that you are a strong person who is there by choice, not by desperation.

Things will be tough for a while, and i don't blame you if you feel like calling her all the time or seeing her. But perhaps it would be a good time to look at the relationship without the rose coloured glasses...just at the specifics, and look at the things that really annoy you about her. I think from memory you said that you had a big argument before you went to Aussie...perhaps this is another sign that it was not meant to be.

Originally posted by TOYVTi

Worshp, i got this other one lined up now, one i ant told u about, she said she keen on me!!yay me!! WOnder wats gonna happen ;)

See everything works out!! ;)

:D PLAYA!!!!!

I'm off the market until next year....except that i'll probably have some fun in Queenstown;) But then I have been doing some thinking about life etc, so it's not the best time to be pursuing anything serious...well, except I have lunch with Alecia (work do person) on Thursday.;)

craig and ben i look up to you guys, i wish i can be strong but this is the first time we have fight so bad, the last time was just before aussie but we still want to see each other and she knew and i knew that we still love each other

latey my head has gone into VTEC mode and i have been thinking so much i have so many mood swings i'm worst than a girl during that time of the month

also you guys are totaly right, if she loves me, like i love her she will be thinking of me 24 hours a day, so i'm going to leave it in her court now, i told her how i feel and if she wants be back she can come and get me :) anyways i asked her last time i saw her if she is still coming to my place for a family xmas dinner and she said yes so thats going to be the next time i see her, thats if i'm strong enought to stay away

oh i want to get her a xmas present what do you guys think???

THANK YOU

Hmmmm...a Christmas present would be difficult. I would get something that was personal, but not too personal...or maybe something like a diary for her to write in or something. It definitely has to be something that she knows is just for her, and you have no intentions about anything, so no lingerie, and a box of flavoured condoms or edible knickers is also a no no at this stage!:smoker2:

yeah xmas is coming soon and i still do want to buy her something but i don't want the something to be a WOW and try to buy her love back

what should i get???

Originally posted by evil_elmo
yeah xmas is coming soon and i still do want to buy her something but i don't want the something to be a WOW and try to buy her love back

what should i get???

Fill us in on the details...what sort of stuff does she like..music, clothes etc etc.

she likes clothes but she doesn't like my taste in clothes i'm still not sure what to get her something fully different, here are some of the things i brought her for xmas, birthday.......etc

damn expenise rings
cellphone
anklet
hand bags
shoes
she like cars but i think its only cause of me
lowered springs for her teg
speakers

I've got it!

Get her the book "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus!"

;)

hahaha i don't think she will read it

I really like the idea of buying her a really nice diary...something she can do whatever she wants with, is not tainted by anything, she can write whatever she wants in it and it is very personal to her because it is her thoughts and feelings.

Sorry dude, i'm just really into this writing shit recently!;)

ok i'll think about it, thanks for the input

ok guys i'm sorry but i had to..............i wrote her a letter telling her how i feel and that i would like it if we can get back together, i dropped off the letter to her work, she wasn't there but her mum gave me a evil look but the dad and uncle smiled at me (she works at her parents restaurant)

Originally posted by evil_elmo
ok guys i'm sorry but i had to..............i wrote her a letter telling her how i feel and that i would like it if we can get back together, i dropped off the letter to her work, she wasn't there but her mum gave me a evil look but the dad and uncle smiled at me (she works at her parents restaurant)

:shakes his head: Ahhhh well, I suppose it is what you wanted to do.

Well, I suppose you will just have to see what happens now.

Originally posted by Worshp


:shakes his head: Ahhhh well, I suppose it is what you wanted to do.

Well, I suppose you will just have to see what happens now.

ok guys i'm going to promise you that i'm not going to do anything more, i'm going to let her call me now, that letter is just saying i still care

ok things has gone even worst with the letter so fuck it!! i'm going to leave her alone and move on with my life and if she wants me back she can come and get me, its her loss

i just have to hold up til mid jan and i'll be right that when my B18c is going in :)

Originally posted by evil_elmo
ok things has gone even worst with the letter so fuck it!! i'm going to leave her alone and move on with my life and if she wants me back she can come and get me, its her loss



What happened?

I know it's hard but if she says that she needs space, you need to be able to respect her wish. She will appreciate you more in the end, whatever the outcome.

i'm sorry i should have listen to you guys but i couldn't help myself by writing that letter

last night when she rang me back telling me she got the letter, things went worst.
i asked if she still love me and she didn't say anything, she said that she doesn't really care about anything at the moment and then i asked her do you still care about me, she said no :( at that stage i my heart just broke.

i think that letter pushed her to hard and now i have losted her forever!!

what i haven't told you guy is that i'm worry about her cause she spends 24 hours on the internet chatting with guys, i know its just the net but i'm scared that it will replace me cause all the boys talk very nice to her and why will she need me back if she has them and the internet..........i'm also worry that one day she might want to meet with the internet friends and i know there is alot of crazy people out there and things might turn bad

also she doesn't want to come to my familys xmas dinner now :(

hmmm the letter thing wasnt a good idea, as i told ya last nite, but also as i said, its like she knows exactly how u feel now, so have that as comfort, cos at least u dont have to worry htinking, she dont know how i feel! u know, now she knows exactly, but man u are pushing her away with having contact with her all the time. I bet shes thinking she ant even had a day without u being near by!! SO the best thing now, is keep clear, xmas is less than a week away, let ur family invite her to xmas, dont meation it to her, she might come by herself u know. And if u buy a pressie, i totally think a diary, like a nice one, not one that cost like 100 bucks, dont u go hardcore and buy a palm piolet thing, just a basic trendy book so she can write in it, man worshp, are u a gennius or sumthing, cos thats the best present i could think of getting at this stage in their realationship!!

Go for a drive today, fill up the ek, give her a clean in and out, even if its raining today, and go for a long drive, play sum cool sounds. Meet mates for lunch, try and talk about cars or sum thing, and yeah, wait till xmas and see wat happens, sorry man, time is the anser this time. Serriously is man! Time is the only thing that could fix it?

thanks for the talk last night, i really needed to talk to someone, i know now to give her time and i hope she will come back but i talked to another close friend and he said that she is not worry cause the internet makes her happy and keeps her mind off me thats why she is like this and that when she wants time all she does is play on the net and not think about it.

i went for a drive to and on the way home i stopped in at Mc D's for a feed...... when i was pulling out of the drive through i saw her car stopped at the red light, i don't think she saw me but when i saw her car it really hurt me and now i'm all sad again

sorry about all this guy i should of listen to you guys in the first place

Originally posted by TOYVTi
man worshp, are u a gennius or sumthing, cos thats the best present i could think of getting at this stage in their realationship!!


Well, Alecia did say to me that I am god's gift to women.....;)

I would forget about her coming to Christmas dinner at all...it would be pretty uncomfortable, and now is a good time to be spending quality family time with people who truly love you unconditionally.

Just resist the temptation to talk to her...I know it is hard, and you may think that it is a good thing to do at the time, but trust me, the stronger you can be about this the better off you are in the long run! I've Been There!

I would almost forget about buying her anything right now...I mean the letter etc sounds like things are completely over. I know it's hard to say and to hear right now, but if she has been fooling around with guys on the internet, then she is definitely not the right one for you. If you were happy for her to do that then that is unconditional love, however she has done something to you which upset you and that is not showing you any respect.

Just keep remembering that you have a whole life ahead of you, and this will seem like a blessing in a few months time. If she does these sorts of things now, then would you really want to put up with that for the rest of your life?

as i said before, we can show u the dorr, but u may not wanna walk through it, u may wanna do sumthing else. But i think u now know that the time is the answer. and yup it really does suck wen u see em wen ur out trying to forget/ get ur mind off it for a while.

time heals all wounds is what my sister siad to me and i know its true but why can't time go faster!!!

when i was driving in my car i thought what good friends you guys are, like you don't even know me and you still help me so much and i would just like to say a big THANK YOU i wouldn't know what i have done with out you two

and no i'm not going to buy her a present anymore its just going to drive her away, and i'm not going to ring her, this i promise you guys i know its my time to be strong and show her how strong i can be, if i can last to monday i will be fine cause my sister is coming back and i would have someone to talk to 24hours...........i only go crazy when i'm alone and have no one to talk to

merry christmas guys :)

ok guys his is what my sister just emailed me

Then it's a clear sign that you need to move on... she's avoiding the
problem at hand and it's unfair on you. How long does she expect you to
wait!! Phil, just forget it. If she's not willing to face it now, then
when?! She must do it one day and that day should be now, not three
months later so we can all get on with our lives.

I'm sorry Phil, I'm just getting very frustrated with her, to the point
where I'm getting mad. She may be confused, but this whole 'I don't
care' attitude is getting no one anywhere. She's being very selfish. If
she insists she needs time, then at least have a deadline. Tell her to
give you an answer by Sunday or something, so at least you know where
you stand.

Anytime Phil. You know we are there to tell you what to do whenever you need us to...like putting that B18C on a crate and shipping it to Wellington!:D:D;)

But seriously, if you want anything from us just ask k. that's what we are here for...just don't expect a yes if you are asking for the brown loving though!!!!:eek:

I know one day you will be at the point where Toy and I are...that is loving life so much you can't stop yourself smiling!:D:D:sun: :silly2: :D :hehehe: :jump:

hahaha the motor is still on the create in my back yard but i think i'll keep it in chch :D

i truely understand now and i need to stop acting like a fool and be strong, if she love me then she will come back if not its her loss and i need to move on with my life

have to stay strong!!!

Yeah..and take my insanity test...it'll cheer you up!

http://iqx.ionichost.com/other/instest.html

hahaha i'm insane :)

thank you for ringing me last night ben, i'm sorry i couldn't talk longer (fuckin work!!!!) but today i still feel the same and now listening to the radio makes me sad, all the love songs are just making me more depressed and i also hear songs that reminders me of her and how happy we were, god damn i'm going crazy, i know it

buggar it, i failed too!! haha mi car sounds like that too? mabye im more nuts than i thought?? ANyways, man i had a date last nite, and it was wicked as, but wen i borke up i thought i would never date neone, now look, i date everyone atm!! It sounds like ur getting better ne ways elmo, so thats a good sign, save up a little coin, and come see worshp and me 1 weekend, & we can play gt3 at worshps house with a ilink set up (with tv each this is) and then we'll smoke cigars and skank the ladeez (wat worshp does best) :D haha

U'll get through this, wen ur sis gets there, u'll be sweet, she'll have sum good advice for ya.

:alien:

yeah i'm starting i know i can live without her now and things are getting abit better, i need to stay strong to about friday night (thats when all the drinking starts :D ) and but the time i wake up my sister will be here on monday and things will be sweet as

see!! but err dont listen to the radio, and errr umm dont watch where ur goign, just in case u see her wen u cruzing, and dont anser the fone, cos it might be her, then u'll be sweet, and storng, then u can work out if u really want her back or not, cos once she sees u strong, she will want u, she'll be like, man hes having heapsa fun, i rememebr the good times, i wan thim back? sumthing to that effect. Actually i dontr wanna get ur hopes up, but being storng is the key, cos she will respect u more. u know! Gals have to be with guys they can respect. If u dont respect ur partner, u might as well flush it away!

Phil. You've got mail!

Toy..I went out to lunch with Alecia today..and then we went shopping...she is pretty nice, but confused about how she feels and i'm not sure how to read the signs! Who would have thought!:D

Originally posted by TOYVTi
buggar it, i failed too!! haha mi car sounds like that too? mabye im more nuts than i thought?? ANyways, man i had a date last nite, and it was wicked as, but wen i borke up i thought i would never date neone, now look, i date everyone atm!! It sounds like ur getting better ne ways elmo, so thats a good sign, save up a little coin, and come see worshp and me 1 weekend, & we can play gt3 at worshps house with a ilink set up (with tv each this is) and then we'll smoke cigars and skank the ladeez (wat worshp does best) :D haha


Bring it on....a couple of friends and I are getting a bachelor pad...pinball machine, vibrating love bed, pool table, bar, neon lights etc etc......you and Phil would be welcome to share a cigar and GT3 anytime!:bandit:

thanks ben i got your email and if i need to talk i'll give you a ring :)

it sounds like you two in wellington are loving the single life, i hope i will get there one day, but i still do hope she will come back to me :)

Originally posted by evil_elmo
thanks ben i got your email and if i need to talk i'll give you a ring :)

it sounds like you two in wellington are loving the single life, i hope i will get there one day, but i still do hope she will come back to me :) fair enough, if it happens it happens, is a way to look at it!!!

:smoker:

THANK You Craig & Ben i woundn't know what i would do without your support and our talks

anyways when i got home about 12.30am and got into bed, my cellphone started ringing and it was her, she wanted to talk to me, i was so so happy, so i rang her back and we had a great 20min talk, we didn't fight just talked like friends, she told me that she does miss me and that she is still not sure if she can go back out with me or not, she told me 60% of her does and 40% is not sure. (my brother siad more like 90% and 10% not sure cause she rang me)

when i talked to her, her voice sounded very strong.......she told me what she was been up to and she sounded very happy

she told me she is going clubbing tonight and she asked me if i wanted to come, i told her i'm not sure cause i don't want to scare her away, she said very true and it probaby would been a bad idea.......... i told her that i still love her very much and that i would wait for her and not to sleep around, she told me she will never sleep around since i'm waiting for her (i know she still loves me alot i can hear it in her voice)

so on sunday we and a punch of friends including her are all going cherry picking and later that night me and her is going to go out for dinner, just the two of us :) also she is still coming to my family xmas dinner and she has brought everyone a present, so today i think i'm going to get her a diary cause it sounds like you guys know what you are talking about :)

so at the moment my very happy she rang me and i know she still loves me :)

THANK YOU and Merry Xmas :p

Updates???? how did it go..and it was good catching up with you Phil!:D

Wow...I just read most of those 2 page sin 1 sitting. Just proves that it doesn't matter where - communication is power. All of this through Automotive forums.

I'm hadly qualified to say anything here. All I know is that lifes kicked me in the teeth more times than I care to remember. I'm only 17 and have some experiences I wouldn't wish on anyone else but would do again for the things they've tought me. Remember - life isn't black and white. It's grey. And the gre is where the fun begins. My best wishes to all who've been there through this thread.