santa replies to your letters!!!!!!

:hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe:




>
> Dear Santa,
> I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
> Yer Frend,
> BiLLy
>
> Dear Billy,
> Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a f***ing book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your
> older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
>
> ~Santa
>
> __________________________________________________ ___________
>
> Dear Santa,
> I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace
and
> joy in the world for everybody!
> Love,
> Sarah
>
> Dear Sarah,
> You're parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
> Santa
>
> __________________________________________________ ___________
>
> Dear Santa,
> I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy
> and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
>
> Love,
> Teddy
>
> Dear Teddy,
> Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane.
> Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who
> rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you
> some nice Legos instead.
>
> Santa
>
> __________________________________________________ ___________
>
> Dear Santa,
> I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
> kit, a pony and a tuba.
> Love,
> Francis
>
>
> Dear Francis,
> Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
>
> Santa
>
> __________________________________________________ __________
>
> Dear Santa,
> I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for
your
> reindeer outside the back door.
>
> Love,
> Susan
>
> Dear Susan,
> Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the reindeer fart in my face when
> I'm riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of
> scotch.
>
> Santa
>
> __________________________________________________ ___________
>
> Dear Santa,
> What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
> Your friend,
> Thomas
>
> Dear Thomas,
> All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend
most
> of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself
silly
> and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the
> craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
> Santa
>
> __________________________________________________ ___________
>
> Dear Santa,
> Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake,
> like in the song?
> Love,
> Jessica
>
> Dear Jessica,
> Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping
> your house.
> Santa
>
> __________________________________________________ ___________
>
> Dear Santa,
> I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE
> could I have one?
> Timmy
>
>
> Dear Timmy,
> That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't
> work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
> Santa
>
> __________________________________________________ ___________
>
> Dearest Santa,
> We don't have a chimney in our house, so how will you get into our home?
> Love,
> Marky
>
> Dear Mark,
> First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass
> whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a
> low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the
> burglars do, through your bedroom window.
> Sweet Dreams,
> Santa

LMAO!! :hehehe: :hehehe: :D :D

ROTFLMAO :D :p :D :p

ROTFLMAO!!

:hehe: :hehe:

ROTFLMAO hahahha that is so funny man.

LOL :D

ahahahahahahaha:D

holy shit those are good!!!!!!:D :D :p

LMAO!!!!

those were nice....my favorite was "your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane".....LOL...i dont think ive laughed this hard all week.