The Welfare Officer
Oz
11-06-2003, 12:22 AM
A scruffy looking guy walks into the local Social Security office, marches
straight up to the counter and says, "Hi, I hate being on welfare and I'd
really rather have a job."
The clerk behind the desk says, "Your timing is excellent. We
just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
chauffeur/bodyguard for his blonde nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to
drive her around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to
escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom
apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year".
The guy says, "You're bullshitting me!"
"Yeah, well" says the Welfare officer, "you started it".
straight up to the counter and says, "Hi, I hate being on welfare and I'd
really rather have a job."
The clerk behind the desk says, "Your timing is excellent. We
just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
chauffeur/bodyguard for his blonde nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to
drive her around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to
escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom
apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year".
The guy says, "You're bullshitting me!"
"Yeah, well" says the Welfare officer, "you started it".
ac427cpe
11-06-2003, 12:29 AM
lol
i think u've posted that before... still funny... maybe it's the sleep deprivation
i think u've posted that before... still funny... maybe it's the sleep deprivation
jcz1987
11-06-2003, 12:32 AM
Thats a good one! :lol: :rofl:
HogieGT-R
11-06-2003, 12:44 AM
damn man that was bananas :bananasmi !!!!!!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
TheNotoriousMogg
11-06-2003, 01:51 AM
it has I posted it
freakray
11-06-2003, 09:25 AM
it has I posted it
:eek7: Who did what?
Nonsensical sentences abound :eek:
:eek7: Who did what?
Nonsensical sentences abound :eek:
lordvektra
11-06-2003, 09:34 AM
:eek7: Who did what?
Nonsensical sentences abound :eek:
he forgot a comma, but I don’t think anyone uses those anymore
Nonsensical sentences abound :eek:
he forgot a comma, but I don’t think anyone uses those anymore
freakray
11-06-2003, 09:55 AM
he forgot a comma, but I don’t think anyone uses those anymore
I thought as much, you're right though, nobody uses capitalisation, commas or periods anymore.
I thought as much, you're right though, nobody uses capitalisation, commas or periods anymore.
YogsVR4
11-06-2003, 01:18 PM
I thought as much, you're right though, nobody uses capitalisation, commas or periods anymore.
Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. An important job came up, and the assignment went to Everybody. Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. This angered Somebody, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
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Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. An important job came up, and the assignment went to Everybody. Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. This angered Somebody, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
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freakray
11-06-2003, 01:21 PM
Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. An important job came up, and the assignment went to Everybody. Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. This angered Somebody, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
That's older than me :p
My point was that Lordvektra said nobody uses commas anymore, but he omitted to use capitalisation at the start of his sentence as well as a period at the end.
That's older than me :p
My point was that Lordvektra said nobody uses commas anymore, but he omitted to use capitalisation at the start of his sentence as well as a period at the end.
YogsVR4
11-06-2003, 01:23 PM
Its old, but its still more applicable then I'd like.
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TexasF355F1
11-06-2003, 02:11 PM
:lol2: :iceslolan
lordvektra
11-06-2003, 03:11 PM
That's older than me :p
My point was that Lordvektra said nobody uses commas anymore, but he omitted to use capitalisation at the start of his sentence as well as a period at the end.
As far as masking a sentence, unless there is more than one sentence, caps and periods don’t as much of a difference in how it reads. But I agree, those are left lacking in a lot of sentences; I will be the first to admit that I leave them out often.
My point was that Lordvektra said nobody uses commas anymore, but he omitted to use capitalisation at the start of his sentence as well as a period at the end.
As far as masking a sentence, unless there is more than one sentence, caps and periods don’t as much of a difference in how it reads. But I agree, those are left lacking in a lot of sentences; I will be the first to admit that I leave them out often.
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