How do I go faster?

I have a 99 Camry with a home made ram air intake (from the fog light i took out) with dryer hose and that helped a lot but what else can i do thats like under 100 bucks.
Thanks.

Lets see here...

Six pack of Beer = $6.99 ($93.01)
Removing weight is always free... So lets remove everything!

All the seats except driver seat, spare tire, jack, any heavy stereo equiptment you may have, all the doors, Hood, trunk lid, carpeting, sound proofing material, the glass...

At this point you may need another six pack = $6.99 ($86.02)

Heck you dont need any exhaust piping after your Catalytic converter... so chop off the exhuast pipe and muffler for better flow. Keep th Cat, it'll provide a bit more back pressure than open exhaust...

At this point you may of hurt yourself cutting the piping out so you'll need band-aids and might as well grab another six pack while you're at the store = $10.34 ($75.68)

Ok, rip out any type of intake restrictions. Remember the hood went the way of the Dodo.. into the trash. So lets open that intake up!

After three six packs of beer and weilding power tools and common hand tools... you've probably cut some really important wire in the engine bay... So lets run over to the autoparts store and buy another battery cable... and while you're at it get some coffee and.. shit another six pack = $22.67 ($53.01)

Now, that you've replaced the battery cable you think you cut. Damn it wasn't the battery cable... it was spark plug wire. Don't worry after eighteen beers who can tell the difference? Yeah, you know what's next. Back to the autoparts store for another set of wires = $32.99 ($20.02)

Ok, now everything is fixed... lets bump the timing a little cause that's a free mod too! Hey there champ... guess what?

You just shaved 300lbs from your car and gained like 4hp. Congratulations!

And you've still got $20.02 left... but you're probably pretty hammered go lay down. We can go race around tommorow after you sober up.



Morale of the story, not much you can do to it with less than $100. Gotta fork out the green if you wanna go faster. :2cents:

hahah fuckin rednecks
well you could sell all the shit you ripped out on fleebay for more beer money (=

not much you can do?? Why.. you just have a long ass list thats so damn effective.. You told me to do that to my car.. and man.. the performance gain is off the hook!

Lets see here...

Six pack of Beer = $6.99 ($93.01)
Removing weight is always free... So lets remove everything!

All the seats except driver seat, spare tire, jack, any heavy stereo equiptment you may have, all the doors, Hood, trunk lid, carpeting, sound proofing material, the glass...

At this point you may need another six pack = $6.99 ($86.02)

Heck you dont need any exhaust piping after your Catalytic converter... so chop off the exhuast pipe and muffler for better flow. Keep th Cat, it'll provide a bit more back pressure than open exhaust...

At this point you may of hurt yourself cutting the piping out so you'll need band-aids and might as well grab another six pack while you're at the store = $10.34 ($75.68)

Ok, rip out any type of intake restrictions. Remember the hood went the way of the Dodo.. into the trash. So lets open that intake up!

After three six packs of beer and weilding power tools and common hand tools... you've probably cut some really important wire in the engine bay... So lets run over to the autoparts store and buy another battery cable... and while you're at it get some coffee and.. shit another six pack = $22.67 ($53.01)

Now, that you've replaced the battery cable you think you cut. Damn it wasn't the battery cable... it was spark plug wire. Don't worry after eighteen beers who can tell the difference? Yeah, you know what's next. Back to the autoparts store for another set of wires = $32.99 ($20.02)

Ok, now everything is fixed... lets bump the timing a little cause that's a free mod too! Hey there champ... guess what?

You just shaved 300lbs from your car and gained like 4hp. Congratulations!

And you've still got $20.02 left... but you're probably pretty hammered go lay down. We can go race around tommorow after you sober up.



Morale of the story, not much you can do to it with less than $100. Gotta fork out the green if you wanna go faster. :2cents:

That was great I actually laughed out loud LOL Funny stuff:grinno:

Lets see here...

Six pack of Beer = $6.99 ($93.01)
Removing weight is always free... So lets remove everything!

All the seats except driver seat, spare tire, jack, any heavy stereo equiptment you may have, all the doors, Hood, trunk lid, carpeting, sound proofing material, the glass...

At this point you may need another six pack = $6.99 ($86.02)

Heck you dont need any exhaust piping after your Catalytic converter... so chop off the exhuast pipe and muffler for better flow. Keep th Cat, it'll provide a bit more back pressure than open exhaust...

At this point you may of hurt yourself cutting the piping out so you'll need band-aids and might as well grab another six pack while you're at the store = $10.34 ($75.68)

Ok, rip out any type of intake restrictions. Remember the hood went the way of the Dodo.. into the trash. So lets open that intake up!

After three six packs of beer and weilding power tools and common hand tools... you've probably cut some really important wire in the engine bay... So lets run over to the autoparts store and buy another battery cable... and while you're at it get some coffee and.. shit another six pack = $22.67 ($53.01)

Now, that you've replaced the battery cable you think you cut. Damn it wasn't the battery cable... it was spark plug wire. Don't worry after eighteen beers who can tell the difference? Yeah, you know what's next. Back to the autoparts store for another set of wires = $32.99 ($20.02)

Ok, now everything is fixed... lets bump the timing a little cause that's a free mod too! Hey there champ... guess what?

You just shaved 300lbs from your car and gained like 4hp. Congratulations!

And you've still got $20.02 left... but you're probably pretty hammered go lay down. We can go race around tommorow after you sober up.



Morale of the story, not much you can do to it with less than $100. Gotta fork out the green if you wanna go faster. :2cents:

I swear Redneck if I owned a Magazine or something I would hire you to write for me in a heartbeat. You kill me! :lol:

I swear Redneck if I owned a Magazine or something I would hire you to write for me in a heartbeat. You kill me! :lol:


I thought about applying to Maxim for that writing job they had advertised. You know, the "Win this Job!" contest...

But I never really thought of my 'writing' as funny. So, yeah... missed out on that opportunity! haha...


Oh yes, I read Maxim for the quality literature... not the amount of skin and half naked celebrities pictured... :biggrin:

Forget Maxim, even though the articles are good. LOL. We need to get you a job as editor and chief of the Automotive Forums Magazine! I would definitely subscribe to this if it were ever to go into publication. Or maybe we need a dedicated forum, a "ask Redneck" forum. Yeah yeah, I like that idea even better!! :bigthumb:

Forget Maxim, even though the articles are good. LOL. We need to get you a job as editor and chief of the Automotive Forums Magazine! I would definitely subscribe to this if it were ever to go into publication. Or maybe we need a dedicated forum, a "ask Redneck" forum. Yeah yeah, I like that idea even better!! :bigthumb:



A "ask Redneck" forum...


I'm down for that... :iceslolan

OMG im going to be laughing for a day thanks anyway.

ROFL
he is going to McGiver this shit yo!
all i need is a plastic fork, ducktape, and a pipe... bingo cold air intake with fork filter!!! 0\/\/|\|3|)

Forget Maxim, even though the articles are good. LOL. We need to get you a job as editor and chief of the Automotive Forums Magazine! I would definitely subscribe to this if it were ever to go into publication. Or maybe we need a dedicated forum, a "ask Redneck" forum. Yeah yeah, I like that idea even better!! :bigthumb:


An "Ask Redneck Forum" would be awesome. :lol:

ROFL
he is going to McGiver this shit yo!
all i need is a plastic fork, ducktape, and a pipe... bingo cold air intake with fork filter!!! 0\/\/|\|3|)


I got the plastic fork covered. :biggrin:

HAHA you people make me laugh so hard some times. Man I love af. Deffinately need redneck as someone who does editorials for the af mag. That would be great. "ask redneck"..... roflmao I can see it now.

A "ask Redneck" forum...


I'm down for that... :iceslolan

I'll PM Igor http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/images/smilies/naughty.gif

I'll PM Igor http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/images/smilies/naughty.gif



I can't believe you folks want me to do some sort of editorial work?

Sheesh, last thing I wrote that really counted was for a science paper back in Highschool... My paper was on how the Twinkie (Yes, the food product) was going to be a valuable food source come nuclear winter.

I figured, with as many preservitives that are stuffed into a Twinkie after WWIII there would be only 'Roaches and Twinkies. We'd eat the Twinkies, and use 'roaches for means of transportation. Yeah, the 'Roaches mutated.

That'd be cool... a mutated roach named Harry.

I can't believe you folks want me to do some sort of editorial work?

Sheesh, last thing I wrote that really counted was for a science paper back in Highschool... My paper was on how the Twinkie (Yes, the food product) was going to be a valuable food source come nuclear winter.

I figured, with as many preservitives that are stuffed into a Twinkie after WWIII there would be only 'Roaches and Twinkies. We'd eat the Twinkies, and use 'roaches for means of transportation. Yeah, the 'Roaches mutated.

That'd be cool... a mutated roach named Harry.
Yeah man, you can do it! You can do it ALL n i g h t looong!

Seriously, We need to get this rolling! You have already got approval from two mods!

I can't believe you folks want me to do some sort of editorial work?

Sheesh, last thing I wrote that really counted was for a science paper back in Highschool... My paper was on how the Twinkie (Yes, the food product) was going to be a valuable food source come nuclear winter.

I figured, with as many preservitives that are stuffed into a Twinkie after WWIII there would be only 'Roaches and Twinkies. We'd eat the Twinkies, and use 'roaches for means of transportation. Yeah, the 'Roaches mutated.

That'd be cool... a mutated roach named Harry.


RolfLmao:lol2::lol2::rofl::rofl: