g/f wanted to split.

well i went out with a girl for about 1.5 years... anyways we broke up about 3 months ago. i was the one who broke it off. anyways, about 3 weeks ago we started seeing each other again. everything seemed perfect to me, so i asked her out on the 11th. just this past weekend i went to see her, and out of nowhere she wanted to break up. i had completely fell for her, and i was totally shocked by this. she said that its because of university, and she wants her freedom. but that im the guy she wants to be with, just not right now. she wanted some kind of semi relationship, at the time i thought it was total BS. but i dunno anymore. i am totally in love with her, and i dont want to lose her. i dont know if shes being totally honest with me, maybe its her nice way of telling me to get lost.

any advice or insight?

dude, you could love her till you're blue in the face, but calm your nuts first man.....wait a lil and if she doesn't come around, then do another thing...if you are so in love with her, then hindsight always sees 20/20 in the sense that you shouldn't have broken it off....maybe it's her way of revenge, like trying to make you sweat ya know? but i could see how she'd want to not be tied down when she's at the university, that happens, people change and grow at constant rates. if you obsess about it, you'll show her that you can be run over and basically that you don't have a spine. dude yeah you love her...are you sure that it's not a longing memory of the love that you guys had in the past? that'll happen sometimes....i've lived through that before i'm not saying to let go entirely, because that's just not right...but if she wants a break...let her have her break...and you should do constructive things to occupy your time rather than just think about her non-stop...it's not healthy my man....not healthy at all..if she comes back, then you know that it was meant to be, if not, then there are plenty of fish in the sea... :2cents:

P.S: u can always PM Dr. Hogie

dude, just forget about it. I loved my gf too after we broke up (2 yrs.), but it was for the better. Find someone better that will appreciate you. Does she goto school far away from you? If she does, she's gonna end up seeing other people whether you are together or not. That's just how the shit works.

Yep. It sucks. College girls are like that. Don't do what I did and totally stress out and read into it man. you can't change what's happeneing, so why bother to think aobut it. Easier said than done, i know, but it'll come to you.

dude, you could love her till you're blue in the face, but calm your nuts first man.....wait a lil and if she doesn't come around, then do another thing...if you are so in love with her, then hindsight always sees 20/20 in the sense that you shouldn't have broken it off....maybe it's her way of revenge, like trying to make you sweat ya know? but i could see how she'd want to not be tied down when she's at the university, that happens, people change and grow at constant rates. if you obsess about it, you'll show her that you can be run over and basically that you don't have a spine. dude yeah you love her...are you sure that it's not a longing memory of the love that you guys had in the past? that'll happen sometimes....i've lived through that before i'm not saying to let go entirely, because that's just not right...but if she wants a break...let her have her break...and you should do constructive things to occupy your time rather than just think about her non-stop...it's not healthy my man....not healthy at all..if she comes back, then you know that it was meant to be, if not, then there are plenty of fish in the sea... :2cents:

P.S: u can always PM Dr. Hogie


Wise words form Dr. Hogie

My wife of 10 years just bailed on me out of the blue.

You just got to get on with your life, don't wait on some divine love intervention between you two to make it all better, if it wasnt right once it won't ever be right no matter how hard you try.

Wise words from all of the above.

Me? I say let it go. Put her in your spank bank and move on. It's over.

John: Sorry to hear that man :(

thanks guys :smile: im starting to feel a little better. its just hard to let it all go and forget about it.

yeah shes pretty far away. about 2 1/2 hour drive. but now that i think about it, i didnt even have that much fun with her last weekend. i think i wanted the person she used to be, but that aint gonna happen.

Cut your losses now. What she told you, in not so many words, is that she wants to sleep around with the guys on campus, then have you waiting in the wings when she gets tired of that scene.

Don't be a fucking idiot and fall for it! If she wanted you, she wouldn't want her "freedom". She wants her "freedom" at the university. Read between the lines - she's got an itchy crotch and no respect for you.

Cut your losses now. What she told you, in not so many words, is that she wants to sleep around with the guys on campus, then have you waiting in the wings when she gets tired of that scene.

Don't be a fucking idiot and fall for it! If she wanted you, she wouldn't want her "freedom". She wants her "freedom" at the university. Read between the lines - she's got an itchy crotch and no respect for you.


Sad but true.

Here's my advice - lust before love ALWAYS. Find out if they're good in bed before you commit to ANYTHING (more than a maccas meal). :cheers:

Here's my advice - lust before love ALWAYS. Find out if they're good in bed before you commit to ANYTHING (more than a maccas meal). :cheers:


AMEN! I'll never make THAT mistake again! :banghead:

AMEN! I'll never make THAT mistake again! :banghead:
;) And who said easy chicks were bad? They're just saving me the trouble.

Cut your losses now. What she told you, in not so many words, is that she wants to sleep around with the guys on campus, then have you waiting in the wings when she gets tired of that scene.

Don't be a fucking idiot and fall for it! If she wanted you, she wouldn't want her "freedom". She wants her "freedom" at the university. Read between the lines - she's got an itchy crotch and no respect for you.

i can see what you mean, it might be true in some cases....

but! shes not a slut. i could easily get revenge on her, but i think that would be the spineless choice. i only have two close friends in my life, and she is one of them. i dont want to hurt her or try to make her jealous. she was always there for me after i dumped her, so maybe i should do the same for her. i can see now that we weren't "meant" for each other, but i still want to have her as a good friend. i know it won't be easy, but im not running away from the problem.


LOL i cant believe u said itchy crotch. i been thinking about that word allll day long and i laugh everytime.

LOL i cant believe u said itchy crotch. i been thinking about that word allll day long and i laugh everytime.

:iceslolan :iceslolan :iceslolan

It ain't easy being crude without being vulgar, but I give it my best shot!

Seriously; girls like that are why guys in the military will marry women from overseas. Generally speaking, a girl from some parts of Europe or Asia isn't as spoiled as her American competition. A girl from outside the US doesn't expect to be handed a fist full of credit cards and a new car for getting married! There are just a few exceptions here, and I'm lucky enough (the second time around) to have found one.

I'm back in college again, studying up for future, possible promotions. I've seen a lot of these college girls, and they are by no stretch of the imagination Wife/Mother material!!! No wonder the guys aren't getting married! These days, if the wife has a kid, you can't be sure it's yours!

she doesnt have to be a slut to do it. Girls forget quick. REAL quick. And as soon as they forget, they can just go on to the next guy. Hell, most likely one of your friends.

I'll be damned if I ever find a girl that can care as much for me as I for her. And the funny thing is, they always start making the "longer term plans" first.

Yeah, most the girls in the US want to screw their way through the football team, get drunk and party and sleep around until they're 30 or so. They have a few kids (those that don't have abortions) without ever knowing for sure who the fathers are.

Then their looks go away. And they wonder why there aren't any "marriageable" guys for them - and bitch about men not showing respect to them!

There are many marriage agencies on the internet. Chances are better that you'll find a good lady from the former USSR or Asia, who is looking for any guy who will love her and not beat her up! I was going to do this before I met my present wife. There are good ones here still; but if a guy is going to play the odds you're a LOT better off looking elsewhere!

BTW, I help my wife with the housework AND watch our daughter so she can get a little bit of time for herself. I'm not a chauvanist pig. My standards are just high! I dare say 80% of the single females in the US that are of marriage age don't meet them. And their pretty simple.

No sluts. No "serial monogamy". No drugs. Must be able to live within (our) means. Must be Good Mom material. No atheists. No liberalism. No alcohol abuse. No lesbo tendencies preferred! That sort of thing.

Easy to find? NOT ON YOUR LIFE. :banghead: :banghead:

Yeah I hear u. It seems impossible to find that girl who has respect for herself. I also live in a small town, so all these nice girls I used to know, are off to college in the big cities... and getting a total overdose of freedom. They realize they can get whatever they want, so they take it. Why worry about that ONE guy who likes her, when she can go find 100 more.



it's funny though, for like two weeks she was sending me emails and shit, about how much she missed me, and loved me. how everything was going to work out, how we were perfect together. then just in one day to switch it all off.


she said she's going to call me tommorow, hmmm... i'll keep ya'll updated :smile:

she doesnt have to be a slut to do it. Girls forget quick. REAL quick. And as soon as they forget, they can just go on to the next guy. Hell, most likely one of your friends.


steel... thats what girls think about guys actually. so i guess were all in the same shoes.

i feel for the guy that started this topic, but it jsut wasnt ment to be. its a devastating feling, but you gotta realise that if you love someone, you cant make them love you.
If i was you, id take it as it goes. But i msut say... theres one thing that everyone should realise. Getting back with your ex bfr/gfr isnt the way to go. and it never usually works out. because you both know your strengths and weaknesses and sometimes tend to take it out on eachother.

cheers

"shit doesnt just happen, assholes cause it." <- dont ask.

steel... thats what girls think about guys actually. so i guess were all in the same shoes.

i feel for the guy that started this topic, but it jsut wasnt ment to be. its a devastating feling, but you gotta realise that if you love someone, you cant make them love you.
If i was you, id take it as it goes. But i msut say... theres one thing that everyone should realise. Getting back with your ex bfr/gfr isnt the way to go. and it never usually works out. because you both know your strengths and weaknesses and sometimes tend to take it out on eachother.

I wouldn't go so far as to say nothing will work out. Maybe when you were young that was the case because nobody is looking for someone to share your life with. Sometimes if you get back with the ex, it strengthens your relationship because you went out and saw if the grass was greener on the other side. Then you realized she/he was the best thing for you, and you probably couldn't stand being with anyone else. It's different in every situation.

bla dee bloop.

hey now.. girls aren't that bad (and I'm not only saying that because I'm female).. what about guys?
But actually I'd have to say that I do agree .. I would just try to get over her .. you'll just end up even more hurt in the future

.:2cents:.

ha, well.. i don't mean to say ALL girls are like that, cause they're not. That was just the embittered side talking.

But everyone keeps saying "get over it, get over it". Well.. i'm trying! And i'm having a bitch of a time, with her not making this any easier. Actaully, the shit she's doing is making this a long painful proccess. I can't wait to get away from here. :(

Yeah I understand the feeling.. I'm still not over my ex and that was two years ago... =)

It's damn hard to get over a failed relationship with a woman. Especially when you feel like you poured your life and soul into it. I am coming up on some of the toughest moments of my divorce right now. Furniture I used to have is gone, the things in my life that were once familiar our now strange to me. It is a challenge just to stay alive(not to be taken literally) From past experience, I can say you may never get over it, this is number 2 wife leaving, and I still have strong fellings for the first one, I still think of her. You just can't shut it off unfortunately. When you hurt, do your best to think of all the bad times you had, don't dwell on the good stuff you did together, this makes it worse. Keep it in your head that something better will come along but don't rush, spend sometime getting to know yourself and figuring out what it is you want from a relationship. Basically make a plan and stick with it, you can change it a little as you go.

It's damn hard to get over a failed relationship with a woman. Especially when you feel like you poured your life and soul into it. I am coming up on some of the toughest moments of my divorce right now. Furniture I used to have is gone, the things in my life that were once familiar our now strange to me. It is a challenge just to stay alive(not to be taken literally) From past experience, I can say you may never get over it, this is number 2 wife leaving, and I still have strong fellings for the first one, I still think of her. You just can't shut it off unfortunately. When you hurt, do your best to think of all the bad times you had, don't dwell on the good stuff you did together, this makes it worse. Keep it in your head that something better will come along but don't rush, spend sometime getting to know yourself and figuring out what it is you want from a relationship. Basically make a plan and stick with it, you can change it a little as you go.

Yeah, that's getting easier to do everyday... I just kinda wish that any (big) mistakes I made, she'd tell me about so I don't do em again. Good learning experience.. i suppose. Yeah, I did pour my life and soul in, but... I figure hopefully... I'll find the one who pours it back in. Heh. :smile:

Yeah, that's getting easier to do everyday... I just kinda wish that any (big) mistakes I made, she'd tell me about so I don't do em again. Good learning experience.. i suppose. Yeah, I did pour my life and soul in, but... I figure hopefully... I'll find the one who pours it back in. Heh. :smile:


Yeah thats one of the problems with most women. If you do something wrong or aren't doing something right, they just don't come out and tell you. They like to think you know them well enough to figure it out. I made a lot of mistakes... just little ones. I didn't listen to her, I hung out with my friends to much, and I guess I just forgot how to be her friend too. By the time I realized it the relationship was already past the point of no return.

I'll find the one who pours it back in. Heh. :smile

Keep that attitude and remember when your looking for that someone special make sure that is a quality they have. I think my biggest problem was that I was dating girls for the wrong reasons. I mean if they were hot, and was great in the sack then I figured it was love.

I am going to try a different approach this time and get to know the girl better and if she does'nt meet all of my criteria then I will move on before I spend to much time with them and get attatched.

You have to look for the potential. Gold has to be polished before it truly shines.

I thought I have found the right girl many times, and became obsessed with the thought. I wouldn't tell anyone, but just the throught drove me nuts.

Shit like this clouds your perception of what actually IS, and because of this, you sometimes miss great opportunity.

dwelling on the past nevr turns out good...im not sayin jus flat out forget an x ex-gf (or bf), but jus not keep thinkin 'if i did this it wuda worked out' n all that stuff. moving on is the best thing for everybody. and if u fall off the horse then jus get back on it..if it throws u off again...get a new horse.

Suck it up pussy! Get on with your life Screw her!! All women are evil. Just F**K them until they get annoying, then move on to the next psycho.

Suck it up pussy! Get on with your life Screw her!! All women are evil. Just F**K them until they get annoying, then move on to the next psycho.

Yeah, i see it that way more and more everyday :evillol: