Golfing humor.

It was a sunny Saturday morning, just perfect for golf and Murray was beginning his pre-swing routine visualizing his upcoming shot, when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker. “Would the gentlemen on the Ladie’s tee back up to the men’s tee, please!”
Murray was still deep in his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption.
Again the announcement – “Would the MAN on the WOMEN’S tee kindly back up to the men’s tee!”
That was to much for Murray. He broke his stance, lowered his club back to the ground and raised is voice. “Would the announcer in the clubhouse kindly shut up and let me play my second shot?”

:lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

Good one.

Guess you have to play golf to get this one!:huh::D

I don't get it... So he's swinging from the closer tees instead of the ones farthest back?? I do that myself, cuz I suck ass.

that is good. I also like the shirt i saw in the store. It has a picture of a green and it says, "I hit two good balls today. I stepped on a rake." Ill tell u the other ones when i remember/find them.

:) Very cute! Too bad that's about the only humor to be found in Golf... :bloated:

here is another one i just remembered.
There is guy playing golf and hes on the 14th hole. Hes on the tee about to tee off when he sees a funeral go by. He puts his club down and bows his head until the funeral passes. Before he tees off, one of his group members was like, "wow fred that was really nice." Hes like yeah thats my wife's funeral.

Originally posted by DVSNCYNIKL
Guess you have to play golf to get this one!:huh::D

Im confused as well about this one :confused:

the women's tee is closer to the hole than the men's tees. (cos we all know how much of a difference about 10 metres makes over a 400metre hole :p ) Anyway.... so his first shot (from the men's tees, only went far enough to reach the women's tees - and don't laugh too hard! I been there, done that, got the t-shirt :rolleyes: :o

Maybe we should change the name from Murray to Razor!!!


ROFL would make it muchos funnier!!!

Originally posted by YogsVR4
It was a sunny Saturday morning, just perfect for golf and Murray was beginning his pre-swing routine visualizing his upcoming shot, when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker. “Would the gentlemen on the Ladie’s tee back up to the men’s tee, please!”
Murray was still deep in his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption.
Again the announcement – “Would the MAN on the WOMEN’S tee kindly back up to the men’s tee!”
That was to much for Murray. He broke his stance, lowered his club back to the ground and raised is voice. “Would the announcer in the clubhouse kindly shut up and let me play my second shot?”

I gues they have been watching me play :bloated: :bloated:

LOL Moon. No wonder you have that pretty new set of clubs sitting in your basement :p

BTW one of the better two golfing jokes I have heard.

Originally posted by moondog
the women's tee is closer to the hole than the men's tees. (cos we all know how much of a difference about 10 metres makes over a 400metre hole :p ) Anyway.... so his first shot (from the men's tees, only went far enough to reach the women's tees - and don't laugh too hard! I been there, done that, got the t-shirt :rolleyes: :o
Here here!! I've done that plenty of times myself! :( I suck! Very embarrasing when your first shot doesn't even pass the women's tee.... :(

this is a true story,i new to the game,i started taking lessons from the local pro.after a couple of weeks he said that it was time to try out what i learned and play around of golf,after teing off on the 4 hole he said he had to run and wished me luck.at the 8 hole i hit pretty good 3 wood, and started to ride to my ball.i saw a group of old men who were playing hole7,i hit my ball and they yelled "what the hell are you doing" you playing in the wrong direction - he was right th flag i saw was not 8 but 2. i have to say i felt pretty damn stupid but the old men found it quite amusing:dogpile:

Originally posted by moondog
the women's tee is closer to the hole than the men's tees. (cos we all know how much of a difference about 10 metres makes over a 400metre hole :p ) Anyway.... so his first shot (from the men's tees, only went far enough to reach the women's tees - and don't laugh too hard! I been there, done that, got the t-shirt :rolleyes: :o

Moondog...you know the rule about not hitting your drive past the ladies tees don't you? :)

not sure I want to know........ :(


Strictly speaking though, my worst ever tee shot did clear the ladies' tees by a metre or so :o

The first time (and last time) i ever played golf we had a hell of a time.

The first tee off, was by the clubhouse/gym/pool the three other guys who were playing had played before and they hit it pretty straight down the fairway, i tried to copy them, and hit the ball with some force, sliced it to the right it riccoched of a drain pipe by the gym missing this rather large gentleman by about 30 cm on a treadmill and bounced in the club house!!

then on the 3rd or 4th hole someone left the handbrake of the cart and we ended up chasing the goddamn thing down the hill, with all our stuff spilling out then it rolld about 4 times braking the canopy!!

Then on the 16th hole one of the chaps hit the ball, and it hit this poor japenese person in the back of the leg, once it had hit and the guy went down, my mate instictivly, yelled "FORE". we parked the cart miles away from the club house and eneded leaving before the 18th hole as we had ran out of golf balls!!

what an annoying game and people play it for stress relief>> the amount of bent clubs we found while looking for our golf balls were amazing...never again!!

Originally posted by SPECTR

then on the 3rd or 4th hole someone left the handbrake of the cart and we ended up chasing the goddamn thing down the hill, with all our stuff spilling out then it rolld about 4 times braking the canopy!!

Thats why i don't play golf anymore!!!

i suppose with a bit more practise i could have been the next tiger woods.....NOT

HAHHAHAAH LOL!!!! :D :hehehe: :hehehe:
that was hilarious :) i can just imagine somebody doing that lol


seems like nobody here golfs except for like 5 people :(
i remember back in the day of AF i started a Golf thread... but nobody cared, nobody golfed :(

GOLF RULES! greatest sport ever


haha i don't know how you could hit it that short though..... my callaway driver gives the ball so much roll it's funny, even if i duff the ball (which happens rarely) it still goes like 50 yards, just rolling

Originally posted by SPECTR
what an annoying game and people play it for stress relief>> the amount of bent clubs we found while looking for our golf balls were amazing...never again!!

I hear ya. Golf creates more stress for me, it doesnt releave any. I never hit the damn ball straight and I swing and miss like 1/2 the times.

Driving range was fun a few times, but got bored of that. Im a qutter. If I dont do good at something almost immediatly, then I usuially give up and that is what happened with golf.

Originally posted by gang$tarr
HAHHAHAAH LOL!!!! :D :hehehe: :hehehe:
that was hilarious :) i can just imagine somebody doing that lol


seems like nobody here golfs except for like 5 people :(
i remember back in the day of AF i started a Golf thread... but nobody cared, nobody golfed :(

GOLF RULES! greatest sport ever


haha i don't know how you could hit it that short though..... my callaway driver gives the ball so much roll it's funny, even if i duff the ball (which happens rarely) it still goes like 50 yards, just rolling

Gangstarr,

What Calloway driver do you have? I just ordered the Calloway Hawkeye VFT. I am looking forward to seeing what it can do. I am switching from King Cobra to Calloway, I hope I like it. How forgiving is your driver?

The Rule is. If you don't hit the ball past the women's tee, you're supposed to let your thing hang out for the rest of the that Hole.

Originally posted by blacksnake98

Calloway Hawkeye VFT

bingo :D

i got that driver the 10* one

I loved it, and i think it's really forgiving... even if i hit the ball bad it went pretty straight, titanium is the way to go
it's got good distance too... I have a Titleist 975D driver now and the titleist only drives like 5-10 yards farther
I just got the Titleist because i've been competing alot lately and the 975D is a more competition, good player club.... not very forgiving at all
main reason i got it though is because Tiger uses it, lol :D
I still have both drivers though and i like them both

plus you can't beat the sound of a Callaway club!! even if you hit the ball like crap it sounds amazing! :) if somebody's not lookin they'll think you hit a really good shot

Sounds awesome man, can't wait to get mine. I hope to have it in time for my indoor golf league match next thursday.

you'll be REALLY satisfied i think.... it's a good driver

indoor golf league? how does that work?

Its a cross between video game golf and real golf. There is a large screen, about 10ft. tall and about 10ft. wide. The course is projected on to it, so it looks like you are looking down the fairway or wherever you may be on the course. They have mats similar to driving ranges with a tee, fairway, a simulated rough, and a simulated bunker. There are sensors that surround the screen, so when you hit your ball into it, it picks up on the speed, angle, trajectory and spin of the ball. When the ball hits the screen, it is then projected going down the fairway, hooking, slicing, flying toward the green etc. It gives you the opportunity to play Pebble Beach, Augusta, Valhalla etc. Its alot of fun.

Man you guys kill me! I nearly spit coffee all over my monitor reading Spectr's interesting day out. I have not played since 88. Yep a very stressful game though once you get somewhat of a hang of it, I guess it is not too bad.

Now if I want stress I do work on the car :rolleyes:

Originally posted by blacksnake98
Its a cross between video game golf and real golf. There is a large screen, about 10ft. tall and about 10ft. wide. The course is projected on to it, so it looks like you are looking down the fairway or wherever you may be on the course. They have mats similar to driving ranges with a tee, fairway, a simulated rough, and a simulated bunker. There are sensors that surround the screen, so when you hit your ball into it, it picks up on the speed, angle, trajectory and spin of the ball. When the ball hits the screen, it is then projected going down the fairway, hooking, slicing, flying toward the green etc. It gives you the opportunity to play Pebble Beach, Augusta, Valhalla etc. Its alot of fun.

oh yeah, we got that here..... the place here is called Club 54
i've played pebble beach and augusta
it's not that real though :D i've hit my PW unbelievable far, lol :D
actually it's not that bad... it's good fun