nympho joke
Ricochet
10-14-2003, 12:17 PM
A man boards an airplane and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat, and a wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, “Business trip or vacation?”
The woman turns, smiles and says, “Business. I’m going to the annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago.”
The man swallows hard and is instantly crazed with excitement. Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, “What’s your business role at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she says. “I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really,” he says. “What myths are those?”
“Well,” she explains, “one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it’s men of Jewish decent.”
Suddenly, the women becomes very embarrassed and blushes. “I'm sorry,” she says, “I shouldn’t be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!”
“Tonto” the man says as he extends his hand. “Tonto Goldstein.”
The woman turns, smiles and says, “Business. I’m going to the annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago.”
The man swallows hard and is instantly crazed with excitement. Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, “What’s your business role at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she says. “I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really,” he says. “What myths are those?”
“Well,” she explains, “one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it’s men of Jewish decent.”
Suddenly, the women becomes very embarrassed and blushes. “I'm sorry,” she says, “I shouldn’t be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!”
“Tonto” the man says as he extends his hand. “Tonto Goldstein.”
Ricochet
10-14-2003, 12:25 PM
here's another:
Young Justin has a cursing problem, and his father’s getting tired of it.
He decides to ask a shrink what to do. The shrink says, “Negative reinforcement. Since Christmas is coming up, ask Justin what he wants from Santa. If he curses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of each gift he requests.”
Two days before Christmas, Justin’s father asks him what he wants for Christmas. “I want a damn teddy bear lying beside me when I wake up. When I go downstairs, I want to see a damn train going around the damn tree. And when I go outside, I want to see a damn bike leaning up against the damn garage.”
On Christmas morning, Justin wakes up and rolls into a pile of dog poop. Confused, he walks downstairs and sees another pile under the tree. He walks outside, looks at a huge pile of dog poo by the garage, and walks inside. His dad smiles and asks, “What did Santa bring you this year?”
Justin replies, “I think I got a goddamn dog, but I can’t find the son of a bitch!”
Young Justin has a cursing problem, and his father’s getting tired of it.
He decides to ask a shrink what to do. The shrink says, “Negative reinforcement. Since Christmas is coming up, ask Justin what he wants from Santa. If he curses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of each gift he requests.”
Two days before Christmas, Justin’s father asks him what he wants for Christmas. “I want a damn teddy bear lying beside me when I wake up. When I go downstairs, I want to see a damn train going around the damn tree. And when I go outside, I want to see a damn bike leaning up against the damn garage.”
On Christmas morning, Justin wakes up and rolls into a pile of dog poop. Confused, he walks downstairs and sees another pile under the tree. He walks outside, looks at a huge pile of dog poo by the garage, and walks inside. His dad smiles and asks, “What did Santa bring you this year?”
Justin replies, “I think I got a goddamn dog, but I can’t find the son of a bitch!”
freakray
10-14-2003, 12:55 PM
Good ones there :grinno:
Jokes sure do get around....http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=1200654&postcount=1
Jokes sure do get around....http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=1200654&postcount=1
Ricochet
10-14-2003, 01:02 PM
lol.. well, at least I'm hittin .500
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