Making babies...
tonioseven
09-14-2003, 11:07 PM
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive,
Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said," I'm off, the man should be here soon"
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
rang the door bell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning madam. I've come to..! ....."
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you." Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well good! I've made a specialty of
babies."
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
seat."
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start"?
"Leave everything to me. I usually try in the bathtub, one on the couch
and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun
too.... you can really spread out!
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."
"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles.
I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot of..." gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that I'm sure."
"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."
"Oh my god!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well- when you consider their
mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job
done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to
get a good look".
"Four or five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too, the
mother was constantly squealing and yelling- I could hardly concentrate.
Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
"Mrs. Smith leaned forward "You mean they actually chewed on your um...
equipment?"
"That's right. Well madam, if you are ready, I'll set up my tripod so
we can get to work."
"Tripod???"
"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big
for me to hold very long....Madam?...Madam?.. Good lord, she's fainted!"
surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive,
Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said," I'm off, the man should be here soon"
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
rang the door bell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning madam. I've come to..! ....."
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you." Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well good! I've made a specialty of
babies."
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
seat."
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start"?
"Leave everything to me. I usually try in the bathtub, one on the couch
and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun
too.... you can really spread out!
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."
"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles.
I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot of..." gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that I'm sure."
"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."
"Oh my god!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well- when you consider their
mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job
done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to
get a good look".
"Four or five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too, the
mother was constantly squealing and yelling- I could hardly concentrate.
Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
"Mrs. Smith leaned forward "You mean they actually chewed on your um...
equipment?"
"That's right. Well madam, if you are ready, I'll set up my tripod so
we can get to work."
"Tripod???"
"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big
for me to hold very long....Madam?...Madam?.. Good lord, she's fainted!"
carrrnuttt
09-15-2003, 12:49 AM
BWAHAHAHA! Good one!
Oz
09-15-2003, 03:13 AM
:lol2::thumbsup:
kicker1_solo
09-15-2003, 03:19 AM
:naughty:
that was great :D
that was great :D
YogsVR4
09-15-2003, 08:02 AM
I have an SWF file of that joke around here someplace. Its a riot!
esp
09-15-2003, 09:17 AM
that was a good one :lol: :lol2: :rofl:
HEVY_HITTER
09-29-2003, 10:49 PM
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!that was a good one......lol :iceslolan :rofl: :lol: :lol2: :biggrin:
dayna240sx
09-29-2003, 11:20 PM
I was about to post the repost guy until I saw the date...
UH
UH
JE123
09-30-2003, 12:40 AM
Hahahhahahaha. :rofl:
jon@af
09-30-2003, 12:44 AM
damn n00b's :slap:
slave
09-30-2003, 12:48 AM
Funny one. And oz, WTF? Avatar. LMFAO!!!!!
TheNotoriousMogg
09-30-2003, 01:03 AM
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH :spit: :biggrin: :lol2: :cwm27: :rofl:
HogieGT-R
09-30-2003, 01:03 AM
ROFLMFAOSHICB!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! that's so funny my ribs are hurting :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: !!!HAHAHAHAHA
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