Is She Cheating?

IM FU!$IN UPSET. A FEW WEEKS AGO I STARTED NOTICING SOMETHING WEIRD. MY WIFE WOULD BE ON THE INTERNET ALOT AND ALWAYS EMAILING SOMEONE ON HER PHONE. THE FIRST THING SHE WOULD DO WHEN WE GOT HOME FROM ANYWHERE SHE WOULD " CHECK THE MAIL". I WOULD COME OUT OF THE BEDROOM AND THE WHATEVER SHE WAS ON WOULD GET MINIMIZED. I FOUND OUT SHE WAS YAHOO MESSENGING. I WAS BEING THE RESPECTFUL HUSBAND AND GIVING HER THE PRIVACY SHE DESERVED. I WOULD BLOW IT OFF. SHE STARTED ACTING A LITTLE DISTANT AT THIS TIME. WE STARTED DOING THE WILD MONKEY DANCE LESS OFTEN. SHE SAID IT WAS STRESS.(DUAL MILITARY) OK I THOUGHT. ONE DAY I HAD A BUNCH OF MY FRIENDS OVER AT THE HOUSE. EVERYONE DRANK AND HAD A GRAND OL' TIME. I DONT DRINK. SHE WAS MESSED UP. THE NEXT DAY EVERYONE WAKES UP. IT'S AROUND 9-10. SHE ASKS ME IF I WANT HER TO TAKE THE BOYS TO THEIR BARRACKS. SURE. I FIGURED IT WOULD BE OK. THEY ALL LEAVE AROUND HALF HOUR LATER. WHAT A GREAT TIME TO CATCH UP ON STUFF. IT ONLY TAKES HALF AN HOUR TO GET THERE AND BACK. ABOUT TWO HOURS LATER I START TO GET WORRIED. I CALL HER PHONE. NO ANSWER. I CALL THE BARRACKS. "YES SIR, SHE WAS HERE ABOUT AN HOUR AND SOME CHANGE AGO. SHE LEFT." OK. THANKS. SHE WASENT WITH ANYONE. I GET REALLY UPSET AT THIS POINT AND START TO GET SUSPICOUS. I GET ONLINE AND DOWNLOAD A KEYLOGGER FROM A WEBSITE. ABOUT AN HOUR LATER SHE COMES HOME. HAPPY AND CHEERFUL. I ASKED HER WHAT THE HELL SHE WAS UP TO AND SHE SAID SHE WAS ON THE PHONE WITH HER MOTHER. (HER MOTHER IS IN THE STATES AND IS HAVING UNEMPLOYED I NEED MONEY BLUES.) SHE CHECKS HER EMAIL . I GIVE THE PRIVACY. LATER THAT EVENING SHE GOES TO BED. IM WATCHING TV AND TELL HER SHE CAN GO TO BED WITHOUT ME . WELL. I CHECK THE KEYLOG ON THAT PROGRAM I INSTALLED EARLIER THAT DAY. I FOUND OUT HER PASSWORD AND LOGIN FOR YAHOO. WHAT I FOUND WAS THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD. SHE WAS TALKING TO SOME GUY WHO I LATER FOUND OUT WAS STATIONED IN THE SAME UNIT AS US. THEY HAD BEEN WRITTING LOVE LETTERS AND TALKING ABOUT HER LEAVING ME AND GOING WITH THIS GUY. MAKING LOVE. HOLDING EACHOTHER. GETTING MARRIED. HE WAS TELLING HER STORIES ABOUT ME CHEATING ON HER WITH OTHER PEOPLE. IT PISSED ME OFF SO BAD THAT I WOKE HER UP TO BITCH HER OUT AND ASK WTF? "ITS ALL JUST A GAME" SHE SAID. I FOUND OUT HIS NUMBER. I CALLED HIM AND SPOKE TO HIM. THE CONVERSATION WASENT PRETTY. SHE SAID SHE WASENT GOING TO TALK TO HIM ANYMORE. THAT NOTHING HAPPED BETWEEN THEM. I DONT KNOW IF THATS TRUE. I TRIED TO BE OPEN MINDED ABOUT THE WHOLE ORDEAL. AFTER A WHILE THE WHOLE THING DIED DOWN. SO I THOUGHT. TURNS OUT HE HAD BEEN CALLING HER ON HER CELL PHONE. ANOTHER FIGHT. "I WONT DO IT ANYMORE." ONCE AGAIN THE SITUATION DIES DOWN. LOTS OF SEX AND LOVIN FOR TWO WEEKS. THEN IT ALL GOES AWAY. SHE IS ACTING DISTANT AGAIN AND JUST THE OTHER DAY PAID HER OUTRAGOUS CELL PHONE BILL. TODAY SHE WENT TO LUNCH AND DIDNT TELL ME. HMMM.:nono: SO I CALL HER UP AND ASK HER WTF? SUPPOSEDLY SHE TRIED AND COULDNT GET A SIGNAL. WELL THEN HOW DID I CALL HER???:confused: SHE SAYS SHE LOVES ME AND I HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. THEN SHE TELLS ME THAT IF I DONT TRUST HER THAN SHE DOSENT KNOW WHAT TO DO. IT SOUNDED A LITLLE LIKE A SMOOTH ATTEMPT AT REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY BUT IM NOT AN EXPERT. DO YOU GUYS THINK I SHOULD BE ON THE LOOKOUT?:sly:

Interesting. I cant comment futher than that.

Wow this little island we're on called Okinawa spawns these types of trageties all the time. The very same thing happened to me only I was deployed at the time. I also know of many other similar intstances where this has happened. The only thing I could suggest is to ask around if anyone else has noticed her and this other guy hanging out alot. If you can get some proof to substanciate this than maybe you could get enough to fry this guy in your unit. Personally that's what I would do. I can't give any advise on what to do with your wife though. Wish you the best of luck though.

I notice you said the guy called you "sir". I assume this to mean you are an officer?

If your wife is also an O, is it not a USMJ (I think thats what its called) offence to be cheating? Ie Conduct Unbecoming?

I think you guys should look at getting some counseling before this gets way out of hand. Your wife is looking for something different (be it fun or mysterious) and this little internet fling she’s doing is filling in that fantasy. My suggestion is that you figure out what is going wrong in your marriage before this gets real ugly.

Too late. It's already gotten ugly. You'd better talk to a lawyer, NOW!

Your wife can clean out all your checking and savings accounts, run up a bunch of bills and leave you holding the bag. She's already fucking other guys - you think this is the only one that will ever be?

Divorce her immediately. It is beyond salvage; I'm sorry man. Been there, done that. It only gets worse.

The sooner you start your life over, the sooner you will be through all this!

GET RID OF HER. SHE HAS PROVEN BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT SHE CAN'T BE TRUSTED. SHE WAS PLANNING TO LEAVE YOU, REMEMBER?!

I APPRECIATE ALL YOUR CONCERN. EVERYONE. NO I AM NOT AN OFFICER. I HAVE THOUGHT OF LEAVING HER. CAME DAMN NEAR CLOSE. THING IS THAT OUR DAUGHTER IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THNING IN THE WORLD. I DONT KNOW IF I CAN PUT HER THROUGH ALL THAT DRAMA. I WENT THROUGH ALL THAT WHEN I WAS YOUNG. LAST NIGHT WE DID THE WILD MONKEY DANCE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LIKE THREE WEEKS. IT SUCKED. I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE HAD A BETTER TIME PLAYING PLAYSTATION. TODAY SHE HAS TO MEET WITH THE LEGAL REPRISENTITIVE WHO IS DEALING WITH THE ACCIDENT SHE HAD WITH A NATIONAL. I WONDER IF THEY WILL TAKE HER AWAY...?:nono: I GUESS ILL JUST FOCUS ON BUILDING UP THE ONLY TRUE LOVE OF MY LIFE UNTILL WE LEAVE THIS SHIT HOLE OF AN ISLAND.(TWO YEARS) I AM WAITING FOR A CALL FROM MY MECH ON THAT 3SGTE I REQUESTED.(SIGH):frown:

I can understand your stress...but please, turn off caps lock.

DIDNT KNOW IT BOTHERED NE BODY. Ok, hows that.

thats alot better

man, i feel your pain, not as bad as you do though, that is totally mesed up, considering you have a daughter and everything, talk to her about it, ask her why, why would she do this, make her feel bad, basically you cannot divorce her that easily because it is hard to raise a child on your own, although this type of life is very unpleasant, alot of people go through this stuff with their mariage, even thogh they have kids and stuff

it sucks really bad

be on the look-out, too bad you have a kid and cant leave her, how old is the daughter? if not that old, she can find a step mommy

im sory man, and good luck to you

She is two and a half. The weekend is here and I going out to Naha tonight to see some real driftin. I cant drift but it sure is fun to watch. There is this one fine looking girl that can drift some guys to shame. I just want to get out of the house. I wish I could wake up tomorrow and have some kind of amnesia about the whole deal.(i wonder if drifter girl is single...) Just Jokin'. You guys have been a great help.

hey, there's my two cents worth of thought, hopefully by now you won't even need my advice...

I can understand your frustration, insecurity and anger. But seriously, bitchin' at her to confess to ordeals just won't get you that far. I think someone suggested you two really sit down and have a good talk. You know, tell her, you are untrusting, not solely because you caught her before, but jsut because if she's seriously looking for for something else, you'd like to see if you two both need to take a different path.

good to hear you're still looking out for your daughter, yeah~she is the most important factor right now, so don't like small moments of mishap ruin an otherwise beautiful family.

seriously though, props to you on respecting your wife's privacy in teh beginning. sometimes, people just look to the internet to confide in others things that they can't tell their dearest ones...

one more thing, don't dwell on thoughts that she MIGHT have cheated on you in the past, or what she MIGHT be doing w/ so and so at this time...either you want her or you don't, everyone is ONE package, no picking and choosing...

best of luck to ya~hope you enjoyed the drift show :smile:

oh, and don't call around to see if anyone knows what your wife's been up to. it's embarrassing for her and for yourself..keep the family problems inside the house dude~~

oh, and don't call around to see if anyone knows what your wife's been up to. it's embarrassing for her and for yourself..keep the family problems inside the house dude~~


The only problem is that you can't keep family problems in house, at least not in the military. I've seen it too many times. If she gets a wild hair up her you-know-what, she might call the CO with some nasty comments. Its actually better to keep your chain of command involved. That way there'll be no supprises and you won't get burned.
It may be embarrassing at first but it'll be better for the long run.
By the way the Naha seen rocks!

well from what info you have posted i would have to vote guilty...
in fact, what she is doing sounds like what most guys do...
i can understand her position.. i'm sure there is nothing wrong with you.. but sometimes certain situations just change people.. perhaps she does want something else.. and maybe something else would be best for you.. but i do know when she said it was just a game.. she is lying.. that's how it all starts talking dirty online and stuff.. :sly:
kind of like when you say something to someone jokingly.. "we should get naked", even though you say it kiddingly, you know your in if she said ok .. you know what i mean ..
perhaps you both need to figure out if something new is for you..
i hope everything goes well .. and everyone ends up happy.. goodluck with the daughter, and having divorced parents won't ruin anything.. it's all how you raise her.. so if you both choose different paths.. make sure those paths are best for your daughter because she is your responsibility, both of you.. i'm sure you will do whatever it best for the 3 of you.. goodluck man ..

hey, there's my two cents worth of thought, hopefully by now you won't even need my advice...

I can understand your frustration, insecurity and anger. But seriously, bitchin' at her to confess to ordeals just won't get you that far. I think someone suggested you two really sit down and have a good talk. You know, tell her, you are untrusting, not solely because you caught her before, but jsut because if she's seriously looking for for something else, you'd like to see if you two both need to take a different path.

good to hear you're still looking out for your daughter, yeah~she is the most important factor right now, so don't like small moments of mishap ruin an otherwise beautiful family.

seriously though, props to you on respecting your wife's privacy in teh beginning. sometimes, people just look to the internet to confide in others things that they can't tell their dearest ones...

one more thing, don't dwell on thoughts that she MIGHT have cheated on you in the past, or what she MIGHT be doing w/ so and so at this time...either you want her or you don't, everyone is ONE package, no picking and choosing...

best of luck to ya~hope you enjoyed the drift show :smile:


:1: :thumbsup:

IM FU!$IN UPSET. A FEW WEEKS AGO I STARTED NOTICING SOMETHING WEIRD. MY WIFE WOULD BE ON THE INTERNET ALOT AND ALWAYS EMAILING SOMEONE ON HER PHONE. THE FIRST THING SHE WOULD DO WHEN WE GOT HOME FROM ANYWHERE SHE WOULD " CHECK THE MAIL". I WOULD COME OUT OF THE BEDROOM AND THE WHATEVER SHE WAS ON WOULD GET MINIMIZED. I FOUND OUT SHE WAS YAHOO MESSENGING. I WAS BEING THE RESPECTFUL HUSBAND AND GIVING HER THE PRIVACY SHE DESERVED. I WOULD BLOW IT OFF. SHE STARTED ACTING A LITTLE DISTANT AT THIS TIME. WE STARTED DOING THE WILD MONKEY DANCE LESS OFTEN. SHE SAID IT WAS STRESS.(DUAL MILITARY) OK I THOUGHT. ONE DAY I HAD A BUNCH OF MY FRIENDS OVER AT THE HOUSE. EVERYONE DRANK AND HAD A GRAND OL' TIME. I DONT DRINK. SHE WAS MESSED UP. THE NEXT DAY EVERYONE WAKES UP. IT'S AROUND 9-10. SHE ASKS ME IF I WANT HER TO TAKE THE BOYS TO THEIR BARRACKS. SURE. I FIGURED IT WOULD BE OK. THEY ALL LEAVE AROUND HALF HOUR LATER. WHAT A GREAT TIME TO CATCH UP ON STUFF. IT ONLY TAKES HALF AN HOUR TO GET THERE AND BACK. ABOUT TWO HOURS LATER I START TO GET WORRIED. I CALL HER PHONE. NO ANSWER. I CALL THE BARRACKS. "YES SIR, SHE WAS HERE ABOUT AN HOUR AND SOME CHANGE AGO. SHE LEFT." OK. THANKS. SHE WASENT WITH ANYONE. I GET REALLY UPSET AT THIS POINT AND START TO GET SUSPICOUS. I GET ONLINE AND DOWNLOAD A KEYLOGGER FROM A WEBSITE. ABOUT AN HOUR LATER SHE COMES HOME. HAPPY AND CHEERFUL. I ASKED HER WHAT THE HELL SHE WAS UP TO AND SHE SAID SHE WAS ON THE PHONE WITH HER MOTHER. (HER MOTHER IS IN THE STATES AND IS HAVING UNEMPLOYED I NEED MONEY BLUES.) SHE CHECKS HER EMAIL . I GIVE THE PRIVACY. LATER THAT EVENING SHE GOES TO BED. IM WATCHING TV AND TELL HER SHE CAN GO TO BED WITHOUT ME . WELL. I CHECK THE KEYLOG ON THAT PROGRAM I INSTALLED EARLIER THAT DAY. I FOUND OUT HER PASSWORD AND LOGIN FOR YAHOO. WHAT I FOUND WAS THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD. SHE WAS TALKING TO SOME GUY WHO I LATER FOUND OUT WAS STATIONED IN THE SAME UNIT AS US. THEY HAD BEEN WRITTING LOVE LETTERS AND TALKING ABOUT HER LEAVING ME AND GOING WITH THIS GUY. MAKING LOVE. HOLDING EACHOTHER. GETTING MARRIED. HE WAS TELLING HER STORIES ABOUT ME CHEATING ON HER WITH OTHER PEOPLE. IT PISSED ME OFF SO BAD THAT I WOKE HER UP TO BITCH HER OUT AND ASK WTF? "ITS ALL JUST A GAME" SHE SAID. I FOUND OUT HIS NUMBER. I CALLED HIM AND SPOKE TO HIM. THE CONVERSATION WASENT PRETTY. SHE SAID SHE WASENT GOING TO TALK TO HIM ANYMORE. THAT NOTHING HAPPED BETWEEN THEM. I DONT KNOW IF THATS TRUE. I TRIED TO BE OPEN MINDED ABOUT THE WHOLE ORDEAL. AFTER A WHILE THE WHOLE THING DIED DOWN. SO I THOUGHT. TURNS OUT HE HAD BEEN CALLING HER ON HER CELL PHONE. ANOTHER FIGHT. "I WONT DO IT ANYMORE." ONCE AGAIN THE SITUATION DIES DOWN. LOTS OF SEX AND LOVIN FOR TWO WEEKS. THEN IT ALL GOES AWAY. SHE IS ACTING DISTANT AGAIN AND JUST THE OTHER DAY PAID HER OUTRAGOUS CELL PHONE BILL. TODAY SHE WENT TO LUNCH AND DIDNT TELL ME. HMMM.:nono: SO I CALL HER UP AND ASK HER WTF? SUPPOSEDLY SHE TRIED AND COULDNT GET A SIGNAL. WELL THEN HOW DID I CALL HER???:confused: SHE SAYS SHE LOVES ME AND I HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. THEN SHE TELLS ME THAT IF I DONT TRUST HER THAN SHE DOSENT KNOW WHAT TO DO. IT SOUNDED A LITLLE LIKE A SMOOTH ATTEMPT AT REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY BUT IM NOT AN EXPERT. DO YOU GUYS THINK I SHOULD BE ON THE LOOKOUT?:sly:

I feel your pain, my wife and I are both military and what I would do if I were you is, I would've or would make a copy of all of her email and take it to legal. It is against the UCMJ to have an affair while married or to another married member, it is called Adultery and it is a General Article, Article 134 (this article covers many offenses that is why it is general) but you can also have her partner in crime brought up on charges of Conspiracy (which is another General Article) and Conduct Unbecoming of whatever his rank/E or O Grade is.

Some of these crimes (and that's what they are, Federal ones at that) carry stiff penalties and sentences for the parties involved.

You have them down cold if you have email, that is an admissable document because you acquired it on your own and if they try to lie on the stand then they can be charged with Perjury (which is a Federal Offense punishable under UCMJ and carries up to 10 years, a guaranteed trip to Fort Leavenworth Prison).

Good luck with whatever you decide, make sure you can prove your case and I hope it is worth it.

Catharsis is that feeling you get after you do something really great or something that pumps your adrenaline etc. Its that "at one with the world" feeling.

The best way to achieve catharsis is by beating the living snot out of the fuck head that was writing your wife emails. Even better beat his ass in front of his wife and kids so that they can see what a sissy he is too.

Being in the military and all i understand that might get you in a bit of trouble - but the point is you will FEEL better. I know I would.



Oh and go screw off in advance to all those who are gonna jump my ass for being impractical and insensitive. Love is impractical and hurting your spouse like that is insensitive. One good turn deserves another. That old saying about 2 wrongs don't make a right - whoever made that up is probably the kind of puss that would try to steal another guys wife - and then try to get out of the beating he deserves.