Little Billy

LITTLE BILLY ON . GETTING OLDER


Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching
on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from
him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy
isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot
your teeth, and make you fat."

Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be
107 years old."

"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather
eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own
fucking business!!"


LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds
sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how
many will be left?" She calls on little BILLY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with
the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4,
but I like your thinking."

Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for
YOU.

There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice
cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple
scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down
the top and sucking the cone. The third is
biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies,
"Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the
top and sucked the cone."

To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct
answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but
I like your thinking."


LITTLE BILLY ON... MATHS:

Little BILLY returns home from school and says he
got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father."

"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6,"
replied BILLY.

"But that's right!" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father?

"That's what I said!"


LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH:

Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher
says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable
words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?"

BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY,
that's a mouthful."

Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're
thinking of a blowjob."


LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR:

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the
teacher asked for a show of hands from those who
could use the word "beautiful" in the same
sentence twice.

First she called on little Suzie, who responded
with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful
dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She
then called on little Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it
turned out beautifully."

The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!"
Then, she reluctantly called on little BILLY.

"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told
my father that she was pregnant, and he said
"Beautiful, just fucking beautiful."

:grinno: :icon16: :lol:

AHAHAHA that is the greatest thing ive ever heard!!!! thanks for sharing

cpc

God Oz I don't know where you find this stuff :rofl:

God Oz I don't know where you find this stuff :rofl:
It finds me :uhoh:

:repost: only last time he was called little Johnny :loser:

The first is a repost, can't say I have seen the others.

:lol: funny stuff

God Oz I don't know where you find this stuff :rofl:


Its as though he took a look at the archives.... :p

:lol::lol::lol:

that was alrite jokes. coulda ben better. i give it a 5/10

:repost: :biggrin: