Hypocrisy and Ambiguity

The Philosophy of Hypocrisy and Ambiguity.


>> 1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the
>> sweaty things.
>>
>> 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila,
>> floor.....
>>
>> 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
>>
>> 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we
>> still have monkeys and apes?
>>
>> 5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he
>> knows where all the bad girls live.
>>
>> 6. I went to a bookstore and asked the sales
>> woman,"Where's the self-help section?"
>> She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
>>
>> 7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
>>
>> 8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his
>> hands with soap?
>>
>> 9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens
>> to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
>>
>> 10. Is there another word for synonym?
>>
>> 11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it
>> all?"
>>
>> 12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal
>> eating an endangered plant?
>>
>> 13. If a parsley farmer is sued can they garnish his
>> wages?
>>
>> 14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
>>
>> 15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they
>> afraid someone will clean them?
>>
>> 16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless
>> or naked?
>>
>> 17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
>>
>> 18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he
>> has the right to remain silent?
>>
>> 19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank
>> machines?
>>
>> 20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at
>> those yellow road signs?
>>
>> 21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
>>
>> 22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk
>> about other people.
>>
>> 23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algaebra?
>>
>> 24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy
>> adultery?
>>
>> 25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
>>
>> 26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest
>> drown, too?
>>
>> 27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you
>> still be hungry?
>>
>> 28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you
>> done?
>>
>> 29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to
>> have "S" in it?
>>
>> 30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead
>> of "assteroids"?
>>
>> 31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot
>> at them?
>>
>> 32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
>>
>> 33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three
>> times does he become disoriented?

A couple there I have seen before, but just as many made me chuckle :grinyes:

Nice ones :cool:

Good find! Quite a few I hadn't seen before in there...
:lol:

Thats deep man real deep