I need a MEGA funny joke

I have to get a really funny joke for... matters which need not conern you. Anyway, help me out please.:)

how do u stop a black person from drowning? take ur foot off their head

Have you done a search in here for jokes? There are many posts with some real knee slappers. Look for Jokes, Funny, Yuck and humor and you'll get enough to make your head swim. From those you can pick what you consider to be hilarous since we all have different tastes.

Read the Texas chili story, its hilarious.

i have a buncha jokes. some of which are dirty, very dirty and racist. let me know what you want and i'll give ya some.

Originally posted by SkylinesKillAll
how do u stop a black person from drowning? take ur foot off their head

Slut.:bandit:

Flame on!

Dirty, as dirty as a dirt farm. :)

umm, ok. they're all long. i don't know if you all know these or not but here goes one.

a husband is going on a business trip for a couple days. he doesnt want his wife go to an ex-boyfriend for a good time while he's gone, so he goes to a sex shop to get something for her. he doesnt know what to get so he asks the salesman what will give great results. the salesman pulls out this weird looking box. he opened it up and inside was a dildo. this was no ordinary dildo the salesman was saying though. it was the voodoo dildo. all you had to do was say "voodoo dildo, my pussy" or where you wanted it and the dildo would rise up out of the box and start screwing away.the man then said to say to end the session "voodoo dildo, box" and it returned to its box. so the man bought it. he came home and showed it to his wife and told her how to use it. the man departed for his trip, and his wife was getting a little lonely. she started looking through her address book, then remembered the voodoo dildo. she decided to give it a run. she opened the box and said voodoo dildo, my pussy. the dildo rose and proceeded to go to here pussy and screw her. it was the best that she'd ever have!! after 3 great orgasms, she decided she had enough. she then realized her husband never told her how to stop it. she tried pulling it out, but to no avail. after tugging and tugging, she decided she would drive to the hospital. she put on a dress to conceal the dildo still screwing her. when she was driving she had another orgasm she nearly crashed! a police officer saw this and pulled her over. she told him the situation she was in.the cop obviously didn't believe her. the woman tried to plead her case again, but he wouldnt believe her. the cop replied by saying, "voodoo dildo, my ass!"

i gots a nudder one.

a guy walks into a sperm bank with a mask on and a gun. he walks up to the clerk behind the desk. the lady said "sir this is a *sperm* bank, not a real bank!!" the mans tell her to get out a jar of spermies. the clerk gets out a jar. the man then tells her to drink it. the lady is confused. she tells him that it is filled with sperm! the man knows and again tells her to drink it! she does so she wont get shot. she opens the lid and proceeds to drink it. the man tells her to drink all of it. she finishes the jar. the man then takes off his mask. the lady recognizes him immediately. it's her husband!! the man says "see honey, its not that bad now is it?"

so i guess its safe to assume no one liked my jokes??

They were good. I didn't use them for the... matter...

i think MBTN wants to impress a girlie.

This guy goes into a bar one night and sits down and orders a drink. The bartender is a huge guy who seemed to have a rather angry look on his face.

He calls the bartender over and asks him if he was interested in a wager. The bartender says yea like what?

The guy says I bet you $500 I can piss in a shot glass from 5 feet away and not get a drop on your bar!
The bartender thinking this was easy money says your on. Puts a shot glass on the bar. The guy gets up on the bar standing 5 feet away from the shot glass and proceeds to piss all over the bar, the draft handles, and then turns and pisses right in the bartenders face!

The bartender is standing there laughing as he whipes his face off and notices that the guy is also rolling in laughter!

The bartender leand over as he collects his $500 and says what is so funny asshole. You just lost $500!

The guys says yep but I bet the guy at the end of the bar $5,000 I could piss all over your bar, draft handles and even in your face, and not only would you not get mad but would stand there taking while laughing !

:D

Ummm....

Originally posted by MBTN
Ummm....




LMAO!



This post is soooooooo........umm........LAST WEEK.....