Kids are dangerous

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.

For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.


An anonymous mother wrote this from Austin, Texas.

Things I've learned from my children (honest & no kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4
deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman
cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint
on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using
a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you
get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a
ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too
late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year
old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they
do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like
ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade...true story: The day
the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to
her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying
to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...And so the
pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon
me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher
paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One
little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said...'Holy sh_t! A
talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Re no.25.....maybe if I knew what Clorox is.....;)

Originally posted by zebrathree
Re no.25.....maybe if I knew what Clorox is.....;)

bleach.....Clorox is a brand name....

Thanks Ray, I'll post the results on sunday, the day I perform a Great Scientific Experiment That Will Benifit All Mankind.

spray on sunscreen is flamable :biggrin:
i must try this smoke making..... if i do i'll post pics:bigthumb:

Wow, that #25 is accurate, of 3 people that posted here, 2 are going to try it......that is pretty much the 60% covered :bloated:

Anything for science!

WOW a home made smoke bomb rite there!!! :dogpile:

RB :)

so whats the % of women that will try it. I'm sure as hell going to. It sounds fun...

Originally posted by dayna240sx
so whats the % of women that will try it. I'm sure as hell going to. It sounds fun...


good do it before I get home then PM me and let me know how it went...with pics :thumbsup:

I've done it (3rd grade... sooo much trouble). Keep away from the smoke.. it burns. Don't do it inside. Makes funky marks on floors.. And if you wanna be REALLY cool, get a pipe and two caps. Glue one cap on one end, let dry. Pour bleach in to halfway up or so. Drop in brake fluid. Put other cap on. Hold down. Shake. Throw... BOOM. Homemade pipe bomb. I kid you not.

Sending this information off to my wife to add to the "reasons not to have kids" column.

Dammit, no bleach in the house. :mad: Wonder which weight of brake fluid works best... Got lots of DOT4, but maybe DOT3 is better... hmmmmm :bloated:

Originally posted by 94SolGrl
I've done it (3rd grade... sooo much trouble). Keep away from the smoke.. it burns. Don't do it inside. Makes funky marks on floors.. And if you wanna be REALLY cool, get a pipe and two caps. Glue one cap on one end, let dry. Pour bleach in to halfway up or so. Drop in brake fluid. Put other cap on. Hold down. Shake. Throw... BOOM. Homemade pipe bomb. I kid you not.

Holy shit! Are you serious? God damn I'm bringing this up at the club meeting tonight. Will take pictures if we do it and will post them tonight!:bigthumb: this is great

it works better if you take a chlorine tab, like for a pool, and drop it in a pipe half full of brake fluid... and no, weight doesn't matter. The pipe bomb is very fun to throw at the ground in front of ricers with lime green cars... satisfying watching that lime green paint drip off.... :ylsuper: :devil:




*author's note... I have never participated in the sliming of ricey cars and will not be held responsible for any events that mimic what I am saying. :icesangel

Oh I'm having fun tonight.

When you guys need someone to break you out of jail, I'll help, lol

mmmm, home made bombs = fun fun fun. I make some differently though. At work (I work at a pool) if you take a bottle of Coke, drink half of it, and then put in some powdered chlorine, shake it up, put the top on, and throw it, it makes a louder boom then anything else I have made that didn't have a fuse.

A couple questions;

1. Where can I inconspicously pick up brake fluid other than in my car's master cylinder?
2. Will liquid chlroine work?

Originally posted by 94SolGrl
I've done it (3rd grade... sooo much trouble). Keep away from the smoke.. it burns. Don't do it inside. Makes funky marks on floors.. And if you wanna be REALLY cool, get a pipe and two caps. Glue one cap on one end, let dry. Pour bleach in to halfway up or so. Drop in brake fluid. Put other cap on. Hold down. Shake. Throw... BOOM. Homemade pipe bomb. I kid you not.

whoooaaa awesome im gata try that. Before i do, i just wana make sure, it wont explode on my when im shaking it will it? And what type of explosion will it make?

Originally posted by freakray
Wow, that #25 is accurate, of 3 people that posted here, 2 are going to try it......that is pretty much the 60% covered :bloated:

I think it's called population control...:loser:

doesn't work..... either that or i fucked it up...

Originally posted by trevolutionist
doesn't work..... either that or i fucked it up...

Did you look down into the container to watch for the reaction? If you do that, it will probably work. (Please don't do that, I'm just kidding)

Originally posted by carnut


Did you look down into the container to watch for the reaction? If you do that, it will probably work. (Please don't do that, I'm just kidding)

:lol: :thefinger no we did it out in the open then we did it in a small bottle and shook it up then kicked it... nothing happened either time... :frown:

Originally posted by trevolutionist


:lol: :thefinger no we did it out in the open then we did it in a small bottle and shook it up then kicked it... nothing happened either time... :frown:

You might want to get the number of the ambulance service in your area. Chemical reactions in a container can be very explosive. My son is a chemist and he told me about a fellow student in college that blew up the lab by mixing the wrong chemicals, and the stupid thing is, she did this twice............:eek7:

Originally posted by carnut


You might want to get the number of the ambulance service in your area. Chemical reactions in a container can be very explosive. My son is a chemist and he told me about a fellow student in college that blew up the lab by mixing the wrong chemicals, and the stupid thing is, she did this twice............:eek7:

Not trying to hijack the thread, but I like your username:bigthumb:...

Originally posted by carrrnuttt


Not trying to hijack the thread, but I like your username:bigthumb:...

Thanks, from a fellow carnut.

Originally posted by Porsche
2. Will liquid chlroine work?

I don't think so. I've never tried it though.

How about a 40 gallon bag filled to the brim with 93 octane/methonal with a huge fuse and about 1/2 a mile viewing distance? :D

I should try that clorox and brake fluid, how much is a lot? will it make it look like my driveway is on fire? I don't need people calling the police.

Originally posted by YellowMaranello


I don't think so. I've never tried it though.

It's okay, me and a frined got DOT3, Coke and Powdered Chlorine it's going to be an interesting night tommorrow.

--EDIT BY ME-- I went crazy there, didn't want to but he had it coming.

(responding to them will encourage them so just ignore them and theyll stop after they stop getting attention)

Can do, that's the first and only time I feel like even talking to them, makes me feel dirty, like I just stepped in something. :puke:

Everything's under control now, this little disruption will be over with in a few mintues I'm guessing, the mods have been alerted and the nessecary steps have been taken.

Originally posted by omicron
Do you believe that "taking over" a forum will get you laid, does it occur to you that by doing so you are just wasting your own time and energy. Do you really believe you will get laid at all? How does post whoring make you more of a man then me. Is it because you have a big mouth and a small dick that you think you can talk to us like that? Get off the library computer and get a job, get a hobby other than sticking your thumbs up your ass 24/7.

omicorn, you're explaining trigonometry to a 5 year old...it's not gonna go through thier heads.

christ the noobs found this place... there goes the neighborhood...

Originally posted by trevolutionist
christ the noobs found this place... there goes the neighborhood...



:lol: hey wait....it says AF newbie under my name..... :frown:

Originally posted by MaNtiS3024




:lol: hey wait....it says AF newbie under my name..... :frown:

Oh no not you my friend... noob isn't a posting level... it's actually a state of mind, alot like retardation... an 80 year old can be retarded too. :2cents:

when i was little i wasnt that annoying, well my mum says i wasn't
my dad says otherwise

Brake fluid- check
Bleach- at home but still check (Will get it at lunch time)


This is going to be the greatest day of my life:bigthumb:

greatest day of your life?
making lots of smoke, does sound fun though:biggrin:

another idea... do the mix in a container, put behind your car. Get in. Rev engine. Burnout like whoa? Either that or oil leak like whoa...

Originally posted by Jimster

This is going to be the greatest day of my life:bigthumb:

Low expectations out of life.................

Originally posted by carnut


Low expectations out of life.................
I am guessing Jimster just doesn't play with fire much

What's the 'fire' you speak of?

Originally posted by Haibane

I am guessing Jimster just doesn't play with fire much


smoke not fire ;)




and yes fire> * :uhoh:










Or not :icon16: