Funny Post
SniperX13
07-31-2003, 06:46 AM
INFORMATION YOU MAY NEED TO HELP YOU CHOOSE YOUR
NEXT HEALTH PLAN
Q: What does HMO stand for?
A: This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY
MOE." Its roots go back
to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges,
who discovered that a
patient could be made to forget about the pain in
his foot if he was poked
hard enough in the eyes.
Q: I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to
choose the doctor I want?
A: Just slightly more difficult than choosing your
parents. Your insurer
will provide you with a book listing all the doctors
in the plan. These
doctors basically fall into two categories those who
are no longer
accepting new patients, and those who will see you
but are no longer
participating in the plan. But don't worry; the
remaining doctor who is
still in the plan and accepting new patients has an
office just a
half-day's drive away and has a diploma from a Third
World Country.
Q: Do all diagnostic procedures require
pre-certification?
A: No. Only those you need.
Q: Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
A: Certainly, as long as they don't require any
treatment.
Q: What happens if I want to try alternative forms
of medicine?
A: You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.
Q: My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I
need the name brand. I
tried the Generic Medication, but it gave me a
stomachache. What should I
do?
A: Poke yourself in the eye.
Q: What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A: You really shouldn't do that.
Q: I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor
insists he can Handle
my problem. Can a general practitioner really
perform a heart transplant
right in his office?
A: Hard to say, but considering that all you're
risking is the $15
co-payment, there's no harm in giving him a shot at
it.
:twak:
NEXT HEALTH PLAN
Q: What does HMO stand for?
A: This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY
MOE." Its roots go back
to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges,
who discovered that a
patient could be made to forget about the pain in
his foot if he was poked
hard enough in the eyes.
Q: I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to
choose the doctor I want?
A: Just slightly more difficult than choosing your
parents. Your insurer
will provide you with a book listing all the doctors
in the plan. These
doctors basically fall into two categories those who
are no longer
accepting new patients, and those who will see you
but are no longer
participating in the plan. But don't worry; the
remaining doctor who is
still in the plan and accepting new patients has an
office just a
half-day's drive away and has a diploma from a Third
World Country.
Q: Do all diagnostic procedures require
pre-certification?
A: No. Only those you need.
Q: Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
A: Certainly, as long as they don't require any
treatment.
Q: What happens if I want to try alternative forms
of medicine?
A: You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.
Q: My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I
need the name brand. I
tried the Generic Medication, but it gave me a
stomachache. What should I
do?
A: Poke yourself in the eye.
Q: What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A: You really shouldn't do that.
Q: I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor
insists he can Handle
my problem. Can a general practitioner really
perform a heart transplant
right in his office?
A: Hard to say, but considering that all you're
risking is the $15
co-payment, there's no harm in giving him a shot at
it.
:twak:
freakray
07-31-2003, 08:03 AM
Damn, that was too realistic.....
YogsVR4
07-31-2003, 10:06 AM
Thats why joining an HMO is cheap. But, people want to pay nothing and get everything. HMOs are the Civics of the industy. You don't pay a lot up front, but if you want more then you have to purchase the mods.
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