Men-only diet...
tonioseven
07-24-2003, 05:42 PM
I think it's a repost but Oz ain't here so here ya go!:icon16:
A fellow was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lb. due to serious health risks. As he wondered how he would ever do it, he ran across an ad for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM. "Yeah, right!" he thought.But, desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3-day/10-lb weight loss program.
The next day there's a knock at his door. When he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-yr-old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing & puffing, he finally catches her & has his way with her. After she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this company does business!" The same girl shows up for the next 2 days & the same thing happens. On the 4th day, he weighs himself & is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs, as promised. He calls the company & orders their 5-day/20-lb. program.
The next day there's a knock at the door & there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen, wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes & a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me, you can have me." He's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape & it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does, it is worth every cramp & wheeze. For the next 4 days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the 5th day he weighs himself & found he has lost another 20 lbs!
He decides to go for broke & calls the company to order the 7-day/50-lb program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds Richard Simmons standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you're mine." And the race was on !!!!
A fellow was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lb. due to serious health risks. As he wondered how he would ever do it, he ran across an ad for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM. "Yeah, right!" he thought.But, desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3-day/10-lb weight loss program.
The next day there's a knock at his door. When he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-yr-old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing & puffing, he finally catches her & has his way with her. After she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this company does business!" The same girl shows up for the next 2 days & the same thing happens. On the 4th day, he weighs himself & is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs, as promised. He calls the company & orders their 5-day/20-lb. program.
The next day there's a knock at the door & there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen, wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes & a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me, you can have me." He's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape & it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does, it is worth every cramp & wheeze. For the next 4 days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the 5th day he weighs himself & found he has lost another 20 lbs!
He decides to go for broke & calls the company to order the 7-day/50-lb program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds Richard Simmons standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you're mine." And the race was on !!!!
ChopinPorkChop
07-24-2003, 06:53 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :bigthumb: :bigthumb: :bigthumb:
slave
07-24-2003, 06:55 PM
Lol, now THAT is goddamn funny!!!:iceslolan
ac427cpe
07-24-2003, 10:43 PM
that makes the 4th way i've heard it... it still kinda funny
themodelkid
07-24-2003, 10:51 PM
:spit: :spit: :lol: Poor guy.......lol
Jimster
07-25-2003, 03:21 AM
:worshippy :worshippy :worshippy :worshippy GREATEST Joke is ages!!!:bigthumb:
Jonno
07-25-2003, 09:27 AM
:spit: Ouch.
turbo2nr
07-25-2003, 09:45 AM
:cwm27: :lol: :lol: :lol: :spit: :lol: :lol: :iceslolan
good 1 :bigthumb:
1
good 1 :bigthumb:
1
zebrathree
07-25-2003, 09:49 AM
I was liking this diet up the Simmonds bit. :spit: :lol: :icon16:
lordvektra
07-25-2003, 10:03 AM
LOL, strange one I never heard :bigthumb:
YogsVR4
07-25-2003, 10:52 AM
Allow me to post a graphical illustration of this joke (I know it pushes the envelope for whats allowed on here - but someones got to do that from time to time)
http://files.automotiveforums.com/uploads/953070MultFatMan.jpg
http://files.automotiveforums.com/uploads/953070MultFatMan.jpg
turbo2nr
07-25-2003, 11:15 AM
'this post has just been RATED-R
I advise kids under 17 to not read this thread...
:icon16:
1
I advise kids under 17 to not read this thread...
:icon16:
1
Pick
07-25-2003, 12:53 PM
Absolutle brilliant.....:bigthumb: :bigthumb: :bigthumb: :lol: :lol: :lol:
numbware
07-25-2003, 01:02 PM
:lol: :lol:
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