Council Complaint Letters
Toksin
07-17-2003, 04:28 AM
Meh, send me money if it's a repost.
These are genuine clips from Council Complaint letters, here are some extracts:
* My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
* He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just
can't take it anymore.
* It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
* I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and
burnt my knob off.
* I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly
when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
* And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls
against my fence.
* I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
* My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
* I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
* Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
* I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen 50%
of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain
filthy.
* I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
* The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is
cleared.
* Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny
colour and not fit to drink.
* Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three
pieces.
* I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every
morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.
* The man next door has a large erection in the back garden,
which is unsightly and dangerous.
* Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like
a third so please send someone round to do something about it.
* I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you
please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
* Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
* I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I
still have no satisfaction.
* This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we
can't get BBC2.
These are genuine clips from Council Complaint letters, here are some extracts:
* My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
* He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just
can't take it anymore.
* It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
* I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and
burnt my knob off.
* I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly
when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
* And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls
against my fence.
* I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
* My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
* I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
* Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
* I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen 50%
of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain
filthy.
* I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
* The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is
cleared.
* Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny
colour and not fit to drink.
* Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three
pieces.
* I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every
morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.
* The man next door has a large erection in the back garden,
which is unsightly and dangerous.
* Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like
a third so please send someone round to do something about it.
* I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you
please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
* Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
* I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I
still have no satisfaction.
* This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we
can't get BBC2.
YogsVR4
07-17-2003, 09:42 AM
Those are great:bigthumb:
TheNotoriousMogg
07-17-2003, 10:02 AM
:spit:
tazdev
07-17-2003, 11:24 PM
damn thats some funny shit:bigthumb:
sexylexy
07-17-2003, 11:26 PM
:iceslolan
RazorGTR
07-17-2003, 11:59 PM
hahahah that is bloody brillant!
v10_viper
07-18-2003, 12:07 AM
:spit: :lol: :spit: :lol: :spit: :lol: :spit: :lol: :spit: :lol: I'm laughing so hard I have tears coming out my nose, my sides hurt and there is no way I can explain how funny that was!!! Thanks very much!
primera man
07-18-2003, 04:12 AM
speediva
07-18-2003, 11:48 AM
Those were even better than the Church Bulletin Bloopers!!! :iceslolan :lol: :spit: :lol: :iceslolan
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