Old-people jokes...

> A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for
> the sport.
> "These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained.
> "These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the =
> others.
> "The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too," said the
> third senior.
> After hearing enough from his Senior buddies, the oldest, and the =
> wisest
> of the four of them at 87 years old, piped up and said..."Quit your =
> dang
> complaining and just be thankful we're still on the RIGHT SIDE of the
> grass!"
> ----------------------------------------------------
> Two good things from having Alzheimer's disease:
> 1. You can hide your own Easter eggs.
> 2. You meet someone new every day.
> ------------------------------------------------------
> The aged patient doddered into the doctor's office with a serious
> complaint. "Doc, you've got to do something to lower my sex drive."
> "Come on now, Mr. Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in
> your
> head."
> "That's what I mean, you've got to lower it a little."
> ------------------------------------------------------
> Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses
> were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned
> to the other and said, "You know, I've been sitting here so long, my
> butt fell asleep!'
> The other woman turned to her and said "I know! I heard it snoring!"
> ------------------------------------------------------
> What's the best thing about turning 65?
> No more calls from insurance salesmen.
> -----------------------------------------------------
> "What's wrong, sonny?" asked the old timer sympathetically, coming =
> over
> to the little kid who was sitting on the curb, crying his heart out.
> "I'm crying 'cause I can't do what the big boys do!"
> So the old man sat down and wept too.
> ------------------------------------------------------
> Joe still enjoyed chasing girls when he got to be 80.
> When his wife was asked if she minded, she answered,
> "Why should I be upset? Dogs chase cars, but they can't drive."
> ------------------------------------------------------
> An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and deposits a
> poopy
> little present on the woman's head.
> "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper."
> "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."