I Am The Serial Killer.

So the other day I was cruising around in my Taurus, and while checking out my cool new sunglasses I got at 7-11 in my mirror, I suddenly realize there’s some guy following me in some riced out fart machine, and he’s all weaving like he’s trying to intimidate me into missing my braking zone or something. I’m thinkin "yeah pass me, like there aren’t like 20 cars in front of me". So I just ignored him, but its annoying because I can see him in my left mirror popping in and out of sight, and now he turns his neon lights on at me and I can’t help but feel offended. It goes on for 10 minutes until he actually starts to attempt a passing maneuver, and I’m like "no way buster, not gonna happen" So that’s when I gun my engine, and I can see the front of his car on the left corner of my eye. But there’s a blind right hander coming up so he slows back to his position with his tail between his legs. I now realize he’s driving some eggplant colored Eclipse, and its bark is louder than its bite. So for the next 5 miles the guy just clamps down on my rear and I can see his sick smile in my mirror, and I’m thinking "boy, you’re gonna get yours" So I left a large gap to the car in front of me so I can have space to mess with this moron. With an eye on the mirror and another eye ahead I mash the gas pedal and he speeds after me, I then saw him in my mirror 40 feet away, merging left, and closing fast!!! I start to merge to the left into the oncoming lane for a block maneuver. Then, "holy shit!" there’s an on coming car I notice I’m doing 95 so I twist the steering wheel to the right and I stomp on the brakes with both feet, and I’m like " try some iron in your diet!!!" and Eclipse boy evades the on-comer but clouts my rear end hard!!! So hard that my glove compartment pops open, and my condoms fly all over! When I looked in the mirror I see the Eclipso’s front rice plow wedged under his front end, and engine smokin’ real bad. "Ha ha ha ha, Time to high-tail it out of here!!" I laughed and raced home to check for damage, and found that bastard bent my muffler! But then I realized "shit, his car’s way more mezzed up than mine" and then I proceeded to recline on my front windshield and smoke my pipe in self satisfaction.

:bs:

GET OFF MY INTERNET!!!!


YOU MAKE MY HEAD HURT!

worst thread ever!

but if this actually did happen you shoulda gotten his info for damages and shit seeing as the accident was his fault.

OK :bloated:

it's really sad that the first thread i read after such a long hiatus is as fucking lame as this one.

come on...

if you're going to make something up, at least make it good...

95 in traffic on a 2 lane in a taurus?

right.

next?

thats stupid, i've done dumber things like that with my dads accord, and i dont even have my permit. NEXT?

hahahaha BUSTER HAHAHAHA

lame

Right.