Top Class

An Englishman goes to Australia with his wife; they stay in a 5 star hotel and hire a Limo for the day. While driving along the road, his wife asks,
"Look! What is that man doing with that kangaroo?"
The man replies, "My God! Don't look, it's disgusting!"
Further down the road the wife says, "Look, another one!" and the husband says,
"Disgusting! I shall report this when we get back to the hotel."
They arrive back at the hotel only to find a man with one wooden leg having a wank on the steps of the hotel. The husband charges in and says to the manager,
"Look, we come here in good faith, to stay in your 5 star hotel and what happens? We are driving down the road and we come across a drover in copulation with a kangaroo. Further on, more recurrences of the same thing. Then we get back here only to find a man with one wooden leg, masturbating on your front steps. Well, what do you have to say about that?"
The manager says, 'S'truth mate, you expect a man with one wooden leg to catch his own kangaroo?"

******************

When their car broke down a Jew, an Indian and an Australian knocked on a farmer's door to ask for accommodation for the night. "I only have room for two, one of you will have to sleep in the barn," said the farmer. "Alright, I will," said the Jew.
But 5 minutes later there was a knock at the door. "There's a pig in the barn, I can't sleep in there," said the Jew. "Okay, I'll go," said the Indian.
Five minutes later there was a knock on the door. "There is an un-sacred cow in the barn," he said. "No worries mate, I'll go," said the Australian.
Five minutes later there was yet another knock at the door. It was the pig and cow!!!

***************

An English tourist visiting the Outback of Australia notices a farmer goin' at it with a sheep in a nearby field. The English guy taken aback by this, so he climbs the fence and walks over to the farmer. He taps him on the shoulder and says, "You know mate, back home, we shear those!"
The Aussie farmer looks frantically around and says, "I'm not bloody SHARING with anyone!"

*****************

There's a Japanese firm that has developed a camera with a shutter speed so fast it can actually catch an Aussie with his mouth shut.

Originally posted by Dublinguy
There's a Japanese firm that has developed a camera with a shutter speed so fast it can actually catch an Aussie with his mouth shut.

:spit: :lol:

:bigthumb:

:lol:
i dont get the 2nd joke?

LOL

Oz is gon' kill j00

j00 are teh funny.:loser:

Originally posted by Silver_GTR34
:lol:
i dont get the 2nd joke?

It was the pig and the cow knockin' the door wanting to get out of the barn.

here is my joke of the month

a father and son are playing catch outside in the yard, when the kid falls and yells out "CUNT!!!"

"Son, why did you say that? Do you even know what a cunt is?

"No dad, what is it?"

"Come see me later tonight, and ill tell you"

so later that night, the son asks his dad to tell him what a cunt is.

"better than telling you boy, ill show you"

they head upstairs to find the mother masturbating on the bed. the father points between her legs and says,

"see son, that is a vagina"

"then what is a cunt dad?"

"the rest of her"

crx - thats a rough one :nutkick:

Originally posted by YogsVR4
crx - thats a rough one :nutkick:

i didnt say it was nice did i?

:thumbsup: :1:

oi theres an aussie in the barn

the cunt one is great!!

What's brown and hairy on the outside,moist and slippery on the inside,begins with 'c',ends in 't'?























answer...a coconut.Go wash your mind out.:thefinger

Originally posted by taranaki
What's brown and hairy on the outside,moist and slippery on the inside,begins with 'c',ends in 't'?


a cat?

Originally posted by taranaki
What's brown and hairy on the outside,moist and slippery on the inside,begins with 'c',ends in 't'?

answer...a coconut.Go wash your mind out.:thefinger

Nice :bigthumb:

Originally posted by Dublinguy


When their car broke down a Jew, an Indian and an Australian knocked on a farmer's door to ask for accommodation for the night. "I only have room for two, one of you will have to sleep in the barn," said the farmer. "Alright, I will," said the Jew.
But 5 minutes later there was a knock at the door. "There's a pig in the barn, I can't sleep in there," said the Jew. "Okay, I'll go," said the Indian.
Five minutes later there was a knock on the door. "There is an un-sacred cow in the barn," he said. "No worries mate, I'll go," said the Australian.
Five minutes later there was yet another knock at the door. It was the pig and cow!!!

***************

An English tourist visiting the Outback of Australia notices a farmer goin' at it with a sheep in a nearby field. The English guy taken aback by this, so he climbs the fence and walks over to the farmer. He taps him on the shoulder and says, "You know mate, back home, we shear those!"
The Aussie farmer looks frantically around and says, "I'm not bloody SHARING with anyone!"

*****************

There's a Japanese firm that has developed a camera with a shutter speed so fast it can actually catch an Aussie with his mouth shut.


ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :spit: