Sausage.

A man walks into a store, and goes up to the counter.
the teller comes over and says "yes sir, how can i help you?"
"yes, i'd like to buy 3 pounds of Polish sausage please."
the teller stands for a second, and asks "you wouldn't happen to be Polish, would you?"
the man, obviousley taken aback, says "yes, but what does it matter? if i ordered Italian sausage, would you assume i was Italian?"
the teller says "no...but this is a Hardware Store..."

if that offended any Polish people reading this, this one will more then make up for it.

A man takes his seat on an airplane next to an incredibley beautiful woman. he notices she's reading a book about sex, and thinks that would be a good way to break the ice. upon asking her what she's reading, she replies "i just read in this book that, on average, Native American men are the best lovers, and Polish men have the longest penises. oh by the way, my name is Julie, what's yours?"
"Tonto Kowalski. nice to meet you." replies the man.

Heard the 2nd one but the 1st one was funny!!! :iceslolan