Celebrity Quotes

Haha, I found these today. Some of them are pretty funny. :hehe:


Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake entire relationships.
- Sharon Stone

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.
- Rod Stewart

Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die.
- Carmen Boyle, Olympic luge gold medal winner

There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane. Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do.
- Henry Kissinger

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
- Tiger Woods

Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
- Barbara Bush

And God said, "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan."
- George Burns

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "Hold my purse."
- Sandra Bullock

My girlfriend always laughs during sex no matter what she's reading.
- Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)

Things you'll never hear a woman say: "My, what an attractive scrotum!"
- Patricia Arquette

Ah, yes, divorce..., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
- Robin Williams

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
- Billy Crystal

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
- Robert De Niro

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
- Dustin Hoffman

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
- Robin Williams

Originally posted by kbslacker
My girlfriend always laughs during sex no matter what she's reading.
- [b]Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)I laughed at this one three separate times. :lol2:

LOL@ the sharon stone remark, thats basically how my last relationship was. Thanks to me:D

Originally posted by kbslacker

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
- Tiger Woods


lol... i don't get this?? golfers don't dress like black pimps?? :confused: :D

Originally posted by kbslacker
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
- Barbara Bush

I find that hard to believe. I must have been a Barbara Bush who is not the presidents mother.

Hmmm... I had a small list of some daft celebrity quotes on one of the older versions of my website, I wonder if it's still on the server...
<jason pokes around for a bit...>

Bingo:

Daft Quotes (http://homepages.paradise.net.nz/jswright/Comedy/quotes.html)

Enjoy :)

Originally posted by jasestu
Hmmm... I had a small list of some daft celebrity quotes on one of the older versions of my website, I wonder if it's still on the server...
<jason pokes around for a bit...>

Bingo:

Daft Quotes (http://homepages.paradise.net.nz/jswright/Comedy/quotes.html)

Enjoy :)
Those are great too. :D

Robin Williams is great!

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

True for most cases!:hehe::hehe: