Joke of the day

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are seated side-by-side at a bar. Each has a mug of beer in front of him. Simultaneously, three flies land in the beers, one in each mug. The Englishman looks at his beer, pushes it away and asks the bartender for a new one. The Scotsman reaches his fingers into the beer, picks up the fly, throws it to the floor and drinks his beer. The Irishman reaches into the beer, picks up the fly, holds it over the glass and yells,


“Spit it out, you bastard! Spit it out!”:evillol:

Recently I have seen this joke in one site.
In Grammer class teacher asked a question..

He does not like girls.

What is "HE " in the sentence?
.


.

Student says he is Gay.

Keep :-)

Girls ka group waterfall dekhne k liye gaya...

Pappu (guide):" ye duniya ka sab se bada waterfall hai,

Is waterfall ki intensity bahut jyada hai..,

Agar yaha se 20 supersonic planes b gujrege to b hum

is waterfall ki awaz bade aram se sun sakte h..

Ab Sabhi girls se request hai ki aap plzzz chup rahe

Taki hum waterfall ki awaz sun sake

Keep smiling

Girls ka group waterfall dekhne k liye gaya...

Pappu (guide):" ye duniya ka sab se bada waterfall hai,

Is waterfall ki intensity bahut jyada hai..,

Agar yaha se 20 supersonic planes b gujrege to b hum

is waterfall ki awaz bade aram se sun sakte h..

Ab Sabhi girls se request hai ki aap plzzz chup rahe

Taki hum waterfall ki awaz sun sake

Keep smiling

Not understand :confused::confused::confused:

Girls group went to see waterfall ....

Pappu (guide):" This is the world's biggest waterfall,

The intensity of waterfall is too high..,

From here 20 supersonic planes we can hear this

water fall sound clearly.......

Now I request all girls to plzz....keep silent

so that we can hear the sound clearly.

Really awesome joke. Thanks:thumbsup:

Two members are talking.

Member 1: For the first time I ate pizza.

Member 2: How is it?

Member 1: It is round.

Children in the backseat can cause accidents.

Accidents in the backseat can cause children.

Murthy: You are going to temple daily?
Chandu: Yes, How do you know this?
Murthy: You are wearing daily different slippers know!!!!!!

Vinodh: Sitting and laughing.
Paul: Why are you laughing?
Vinodh: Yesterday my teacher said a joke and I understood it now.

vicky: Which oil you use for your beard?
Raju: Phenol

Check this one out:-
WALKS INTO A BAR... FREE DRINKS
Next
A man walks into a a bar, drinks a couple of beers, and prepares to leave. The bartender tells him he owes $8.

"But I already paid you. Don't you remember?" says the customer.

"OK," says the bartender, "if you say you paid, then I suppose you did."

The man goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can't keep track of whether his customers have paid or not. The second man rushes in, orders a couple beers, and later pulls the same stunt.

The barkeep replies, "OK, if you say you paid, then I suppose you did."

The customer goes outside and tells a friend how to get free drinks. The third man hurries into the bar and begins to drink highballs.

The bartender leans over and says, "You know, a funny thing happened tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid, and both claimed they had. The next guy who tries that stunt is going to get punched in the -- "

The man interrupts, "Don't bother me with your troubles, bartender. Just give me my change and I'll be on my way."

Raju: Do you who will be there in sky other than sun,stars and moon?
Ravi: I am new to this place I don't know.

Raju: Do you who will be there in sky other than sun,stars and moon?
Ravi: I am new to this place I don't know.

Apparently a lot is lost in translation with your jokes.

-Rod

Susheela: Saree is nice but design on it is not good.
Sales girl: Its ok madam!It will go off after two washes.

While walking on the road, Sardar ji opens his lunch box in the middle on the road.
Why?
Just to make sure if he is going to office or coming from office.

My calender!2013

Sunday
Sunday
Sunday
Sunday
Sunday
Sunday
Sunday

Ravi: My father is a police.He will chase and catch thief.What about your father?
Raju: My father always escapes from the police!

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explained. "And today is the happiest day in her life." The child thought about this for a moment. "So why is the groom wearing black?"

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a
“Living Will”
"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine
and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all the beer.

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.

What is Sardar ?:eek7:

sardar: stereotypes of sikhs

Teacher is taking classes to his students.......................

Teacher: Tell me a sentence starting with I

Student: I is the.........

Teacher: Don't say I is you should use am whenever you use I.

Student: I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Interviewer: imagine that u r in room with all doors & windows closed & it caught fire, now how can u escape?
Sardar ji: very simple, I'll stop imagining...

Dentist:
- Don’t worry, it will take me only a minute to pull your tooth out.
Patient:
- And how much will it cost me?
- 100$.
- For a 1 minute job?!
- If you prefer, I can be pulling it out for one hour...