Top 10 things to do to a telemarketer

10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."

9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the h-l she could know you from.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends ....would you be my friend?"

6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.

4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Say good bye - and Hang up.

2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

1. And first and foremost: Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

(found this on the net and thought a few were funny) any more ideas?

:lol2:

**Tell them that it was an accident and you didn't know it was loaded.
**Tell them that the aliens only allow you to talk to the people with the wings. I like #5 the best!:cool:

Originally posted by Haibane


3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Say good bye - and Hang up.

2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"


(found this on the net and thought a few were funny) any more ideas?

I have actually done # 3 and number 2 one of my friends did it was HILARIOUS!!!!! If I am at the office and they call we keep them on hold. If you work in an office and can get away with it just keep bouncing them around to different people....lol they get pretty ticked off quickly!!! That'll learn em real quick!!! :thumbup:

when they start trting to sell you there product offer to sell them some of your lil sisters girl scout cookies. when they refuse tell them they could never buy from a company that dosent support a good cause:D

I cant stand telemarketers there are so annoying i should get a block on telemarketers. :mad:

If they ask for me, i just tell them i died, and promptly hang up. They don't call again :)

I knew PA was good for something, freakray.... The "No Call" list. ;) Isn't it wonderful?

I got one:

When they ask if you are interested in the product they are selling reply "No" then ask them if they are interested in buying some "pre-owned" toilet paper.

Play a little riddle game with them. If its a servey/questionaire, tell them that they must first answer some of your own questions. One of my friends (who happens to actually know the first 62 digits of pi) told him that he would say one digit, then the telemarketer had to say one digit (in order). The guy actually played along for a while.

3.141592654 and that's where I usually call it quits

lol!!

Gonna try them next time.

LOL im gonna try these things. them telemarketers will believe anything u say, i pretended to be the "Leave a message after the tone" and it worked :silly2: then the telemarketer called back and i said the same thing again but different, and the telemarketer was like: wut the, is this answer machine real? then i said yes, plz leave a message after the tone, then i hung up:silly2: !!! LOL

:lol2: We don't have telemarketers over here :finger:

I usually just ask them to hang on for a minute.........then go back to the phone about 30 minutes later just to really piss them off.
This plan did back-fire on me one time as the person was still waiting 20 minutes later http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/images/smilies/cwm27.gif http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/images/smilies/cwm27.gif

Originally posted by RyanGiorgio
I got one:

When they ask if you are interested in the product they are selling reply "No" then ask them if they are interested in buying some "pre-owned" toilet paper.


no no, ask if they want to buy some "refurbished" toilet paper... lol used toilet paper with the crap wiped off