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the worlds worst vol1:Country and western song titles


taranaki
05-31-2003, 07:59 PM
All genuine titles,sheesh!:eek:

All I Want From You (Is Away)
All My Exes Live In Texas
All the Guys that Turn Me On Turn Me Down
Am I Double Parked by the Curbstone of Your Heart?
Double Parked Heart
Are You Drinkin With Me Jesus?
Are You on the Top 40 of the Lord?
At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump
Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreens and I Cried All the Way to Sears
Bubba Shot The Jukebox
Bubba's Inconvenience Store
Come out of the Wheatfield Nellie, You're Going Against the Grain
Cow Cow Blues
Cow Cow Boogie (Moo Moo My Love)
Cow Cow Strut
Did I Shave my Legs for This?
Don't Believe My Heart Can Stand Another You.
Don't Chop Any Wood Mother, I'm Comin' in With a Load!
Don't Come Home a-Drinkin' With Lovin' on Yo-mind
Don't Give Me A Plastic Saddle 'Cuz I Want To Feel That Leather When I Ride
Don't Squeeze My Sharmon.
Don't Strike A Match (To The Book Of Love)
Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through The Goal Posts Of Life.)
Four on the Floor and a Fifth Under the Seat
Get Off the Table, Mabel (The Two Dollars is for the Beer)
Get Your Biscuits In The Oven, And Your Buns In The Bed.
Git Up Off'n the Floor Hannah (a Bitter New Year's Eve)
Going to Hell in Your Heavenly Arms
Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart.
Hand me the Pool Cue and Call Yourself an Ambulance
Her Only Bad Habit Is Me
Here's A Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares)
High Cost of Low Living
Hold On To Your Men..Cause she's Single Again
How Can I Get Over You if You Won't Get Out from Under Me?
How Can I Get Over You Till You Get Out from Under Him?
How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?
How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You, When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?
How Did You Get so Ugly Overnight?
I Bought the Shoes that Just Walked Out on Me
I Can't Pass the Bar, and There's One on my Way Home
I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
I Don't Care if it Rains or Freezes 'Long as I Have My Plastic Jesus Sittin' on the Dashboard of my Car
I Don't Do Floors
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
I Fell for Her, She Fell for Him, and He Fell for Me
I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart
I Gave Her My Heart And A Diamond And She Clubbed Me With A Spade
I Gave Her the Ring, and She Gave Me the Finger
I Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Bed Crying On My Pillow Over You.
I Got the Hungries for Your Love, and I'm Waitin In Your Welfare Line
I Got Through Everything But The Door
I Guess I Had Your Leavin' Coming
I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
I May Be Used, But Baby I Ain't Used Up
I Only Miss You On The Days That End In "Y"
I Sat Down On A Beartrap (Just This Morning)
I Sent Her Artifical Flowers For Her Artificial Love
I Still Miss You Baby... But My Aim is Getting Better
I Want a Beer as Cold as My Ex-Wife's Heart
I Wanted You To Leave Until You Left Me.
I Wanna Whip Your Cow
I Was Looking Back to See If You Were Looking Back to See If I Was Looking Back to See if You Were Looking Back at Me
I Went Back to My Fourth Wife for the Third Time and Gave Her a Second Chance to Make a First Class Fool Out of Me
I Wish I Were A Lesbian
I Wish I Were A Woman (So I Could Go Out With A Guy Like Me)
I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
I'd Rather Hear A Fat Girl Fart Than A Pretty Boy Sing
I'd Rather Pass a Kidney Stone than Another Night With You
If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You.
If I Ain't Got It, You Don't Need It.
If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
If I'd Killed You When I Wanted To, I'd be Out of Jail By Now
If I Had It To Do All Over Again, I'd Do It All Over You
If I Had My Life to Live Over, I'd Live Over a Delicatessen
If I Were In Your Shoes, I'd Walk Right Back To Me
If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
If My Nose Was Running Money, Honey, I'd Blow It All On You
If I Had a Nose Full of Nickels, I'd Sneeze Them All Atchoo!
If She Hadn't Been So Good Lookin' I Might Have Seen the Train
If the Devil Danced in Empty Pockets, He'd Have a Ball in Mine
If The Jukebox Took Teardrops
If The Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me
If Today Was a Fish, I'd Throw It Back In
If You Can't Be Good, Be Bad With Me
If You Can't Be Good, Son, Be Good At It
If You Can't Bite, Don't Growl.
If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead?
If You Don't Leave Me, I'll Find Someone Who Will
If You Ever Get the Feelin' I Don't Love You, Feel Again.
If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
If You Leave Me I'm Gone
If You Really Loved Me, You'd Leave
If You Got the Money, Honey, I Got the Time
If You’re Gonna Do Him Wrong Again, You Might As Well Do Him Wrong Again With Me!
If You're Gonna Do Me Wrong, Do It Right
If You Want to Keep the Beer Real Cold, Put it Next to My Ex-Wife's Heart
If You Want Your Freedom PDQ, Divorce Me COD
If Whiskey Were A Woman, I'd Be Married For Sure.
I Like Bananas Because They Have No Bones
I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.
I'll Tennessee You In My Dreams
I'm Drinkin Christmas Dinner (All Alone This Year)
I'm Gonna Hire A Wino To Decorate Our Home.
I'm Gonna Put a Bar in the Back of my Car and Drive Myself to Drink
I'm Here To Get My Baby Out Of Jail
I'm In Love With A Capital U
I'm Just an Old Chunk of Coal (But I'm Gonna be a Diamond Someday)
I'm Quittin' Wild Turkey Cold Turkey
I'm So Miserable Without You, it's Almost like Having you Here
I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
I'm Under The Table Over You
Is It Cold in Here, or Is it Just You?
It Only Takes One Bar (To Make A Prison)
I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart.
I've Been Roped And Throwed By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral.
I've Got a Cowboy In The Saddle, and Another One's Holding My Horse
I've Got the Cob, If You've Got the Corn
I've Got $5 And It's Saturday Night
I've Heard that Tear Stained Monologue You do There by the Door Before You Go
It Ain't Easy Being Easy
It Took a Helluva Man to Take my Anne, but it Sure Didn't Take Him Long
It's Not the High Cost of Living, It's the Cost of Living High
I Would Kiss You Through the Screendoor but It'd Strain Our Love
Jeremiah Peabody's Polyunsaturated Quick Dissolving Fast Acting Pleasant
Tasting Green and Purple Pills
Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
Jim, I Wore A Tie Today
Last Night I Went to Bed with a "10" and Woke this Morning with a "2"
Lay Something On My Bed Besides A Blanket
Legendary Chicken Fairy
Make Me Late For Work Today.
Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Baby's Head)
Get the Hammer Mama, There's a Head on Papa's Fly
Meet Me In the Gravel Pit, Honey, cuz I'm a Little Boulder There
Mommy, Can I Still Call Him Daddy?
My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus.
My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
My Lips Want to Stay (But My Heart Wants to Go)
My Phone Ain't been Ringing, so I Guess it Wasn't You
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
Nashville Rash
Ned Nostril (and his South Seas Paradise, Put Your Blues on Ice, Cheap at Twice the Price Band, Icky Icky Ucky Ucky)
No Way, Conway (I Ain't Gonna Twitty Tonight)
Occasional Wife
Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
Our Love is Illegal, Cause Our Names Ain't the Same
Overlonely and Underkissed
Pardon Me, I've Been Pardoned
Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
Phantom Of The Opry
Pick Me Up On Your Way Down
Pick Me Up Or Let Me Down
Poultry Promenade
Queen Of My Double-Wide Trailer
Redneck Martians Stole My Baby
Red Necks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer
Refried Dreams
Run for the Roundhouse Nellie (He Can't Corner You There)
Saddle Up the Stove Ma, I'm Riding the Range Tonight
She Broke My Heart, I Broke Her Jaw
She Can Put Her Shoes Under My Bed Anytime
She Feels Like A New Man Tonight.
She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
She Looks Good Through the Bottom of My Shot Glass
She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
She Offered Her Honor, He Honored Her Offer, and All Through the Night It Was Honor and Offer
She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy
She Walked Across My Heart Like It Was Texas
She's Actin' Single..... I'm Drinkin' Doubles
She's Got the Rhythm (And I Got the Blues)
Slap 'Er Down Again Paw
Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
Thanks To The Cathouse, I'm In The Doghouse With You
The Alcohall of Fame
The Bridge Washed Out and I Can't Swim and My Baby's On the Other Side
The Last Word in Lonesome is Me
The Man That Came Between Us (Was Me)
The Old Home Fill 'er Up and Keep On Truckin' Cafe
The Pint Of No Return.
There Ain't Enough Room in my Fruit Of The Looms to Hold All My Lovin' For You
There's A Tear In My Beer
They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
This Good Girl's Gonna Go Bad
This White Circle on My Finger Means We're Through
Tight Fittin' Jeans
Timber... I'm Fallin In Love
Trainwreck Of Emotion
Up Against the Wall, Redneck Mother
Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
Waitin' In Your Welfare Line
Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I'll Think You're Walking In
Warm Beer and Cold Kisses
Warm Beer Cold Women
We Used To Kiss On The Lips, But It's All Over Now
Welcome to Dumpsville, Population Me
What Made Milwaukee Famous Has Made a Loser Out of Me
When the Lightning Struck the Coon Creek Party Line
When You Wrapped My Lunch in a Road Map, I Knew You Meant Good-Bye
Who's Gonna Mow Your Grass?
Who's Gonna Take The Garbage Out When I'm Dead And Gone?
Who's Makin' Time with the Time Keeper's Daughter, when the Time Keeper's Keepin' Time?
Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?
Why Have You Left the One You Left Me For?
Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw
Would Jesus Wear A Rolex On His Television Show?
Yard Sale
You Ain't Much Fun Since I Quit Drinkin'
You Ain't Woman Enough To Take My Man
You Ain't Nothin' But a Hound Dog ('s Leavins')
You can Lock Me Up in Jail & Throw Away the Key, But You Can't Keep My Face from Breaking Out
You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too.
You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
You Changed Your Name From Brown to Jones, and Mine From Brown to Blue
You Done Stomped On my Heart (and You Mashed That Sucker Flat)
You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Banister Of Life
You'd think my Bed was a Bus Stop, the Way You Come and Go
Your Negligee Has Turned To Flannel Nightgowns.
You're The Hangnail In My Life, And I Can't Bite You Off
You're a Hard Dog To Keep Under The Porch
You're Going To Ruin My Bad Reputation
You're Out Of Step (With The Beat Of My Heart)
You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
You're The Ring Around My Bathtub, You're The Hangnail Of My Life
You've Already Put Big Old Tears In My Eyes, Must You Throw Dirt In My Face?
You've Got Sawdust On The Floor Of Your Heart
80 Proof Bottle of Tear Stopper
800 Pound Jesus
Get Your Tongue Out Of My Mouth, Because I'm Kissing You Goodbye.
If I'd a Knowed that You'd a Wanted to of Went with Me, I'd a Seed that You'd a Got to Get to Go
She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
I'd Like You a Whole Lot Better if We Slept Together
I Made Up The Title, You Make Up The Song
Go Back To Texas and Cheesey French Fry Lake

2strokebloke
05-31-2003, 08:13 PM
"At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump"

that's disgusting!

"Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill"

Wouldn't believe how many times I've heard somebody say this.

Oz
06-01-2003, 12:51 AM
:bloated:

Too many. Made it halfway down.

grimmy
06-01-2003, 01:29 AM
hey, ive heard some of those songs.

ac427cpe
06-01-2003, 02:02 AM
looked at a few of them as i scrolled down... sounds about right for some country tho... i really hate the songs where they're like "oooohhhh pooooorr me!!! my tractor died, and my wiiiiffeeee ran away with the dawg, and now my shotgun's got the clamp!!! and the pickup truck is drunk againnn...."

yeah.... bad times

some country is good tho... like... violin/fiddle solos

taranaki
06-01-2003, 05:57 AM
play a country record backwards sometime........






you get your wife back,you get your farm back,you get your dawg back.....

Jimster
06-01-2003, 06:40 AM
Hey how y'all doin' They some mighty fine redneck moosic titles y'all got goin there YEEHAW!!!!!! Now if you folks'll be scusin me I got some NASCAR to be awatchin:D :finger:

Toksin
06-01-2003, 07:12 AM
Somebody broke Jimmy :(

gigatron
06-01-2003, 10:51 AM
NASCAR is a disgrace to cars... its a 5000lbs+ brick on wheels that turns left for hours.

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