Not a joke, but a forward, and I LIKE IT!!
JD@af
11-07-2001, 05:30 PM
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY:
1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with your sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over her or his caffeine addiction, switch to expresso.
6) In the memo field of all your checks, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS."
7) Finish all your sentences with "...in accordance with the prophecy."
8) Dont use any punctuation
9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12) Sing along at the opera.
13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, I WON! WON! I WON! Third time this week!!!"
18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives! They're loose!"
19) Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity...
20) Send this to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to. *
* Remember, this thread started as a forward.
1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with your sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over her or his caffeine addiction, switch to expresso.
6) In the memo field of all your checks, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS."
7) Finish all your sentences with "...in accordance with the prophecy."
8) Dont use any punctuation
9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12) Sing along at the opera.
13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, I WON! WON! I WON! Third time this week!!!"
18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives! They're loose!"
19) Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity...
20) Send this to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to. *
* Remember, this thread started as a forward.
DVSNCYNIKL
11-07-2001, 05:33 PM
Hmmmm, I'm almost 100% sure I've posted this already. But I'll let you slide on this one JD.:D:D
JD@af
11-07-2001, 05:46 PM
SONUVABITCH!! :uhoh: Always being beaten to the punch. I think I'm going to have igor change my title from Moderator to Always Late to Every Party.
DVSNCYNIKL
11-08-2001, 10:05 AM
Originally posted by JD@af
SONUVABITCH!! :uhoh: Always being beaten to the punch. I think I'm going to have igor change my title from Moderator to Always Late to Every Party.
:hehe::hehe::hehe:
I'll get right on it!! LMAO!!
SONUVABITCH!! :uhoh: Always being beaten to the punch. I think I'm going to have igor change my title from Moderator to Always Late to Every Party.
:hehe::hehe::hehe:
I'll get right on it!! LMAO!!
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