Fbi Top 12 Deaths Of The Year
taranaki
05-07-2003, 06:20 AM
Every year the FBI is asked to investigate over 36,000 Serious Crimes including Suspicious Deaths and Homicides. Every year the Homicide Investigations Unit puts out its Top 12 Homicides of the year.
1 - Alan Mijtus, 36 years old, is killed by his wife, armed with a 20-inch long vibrator. Mrs Mijtus had had enough of her husband's strange sex practices and one night during a prolonged session of fun she snapped, pushing all 20 inches of the vibrator into Alan's anus until it ruptured several internal organs and caused severe bleeding.
2- Debby Mills-Newbroughton, 99 years old, was killed as she crossed the road. She was to turn 100 the next day, but crossing the road with her daughter to go to her own birthday party her wheel chair was hit by the truck delivering her birthday cake.
3- Peter Stone, 42 years old, is murdered by his 8 year old daughter, who he had just sent to her room with no dinner. Young Samantha. Stone felt that if she couldn't have dinner no one should, and she promptly inserted 72 rat poison
tablets into her father's coffee as he prepared dinner. The victim took one sip and promptly collapsed. Samantha Stone was given
a suspended sentence as the judge felt she didn't realize what she was doing, until she tried to poison her mother using the same
method one month later.
4- David Danil, 17 years old, was killed by his girl friend after he attempted to have his way with her. His unwelcome advance was met with double-barrelled shotgun. Charla's (the girlfriends')
father had given it to her an hour before the date started, just in case.
5-Javier Halos, 27 years old, was killed by his landlord for failing to pay his rent for 8 years. The landlord, Kirk Weston, clubbed the victim to death with a toilet seat after he realized just how long it had been since Mr Halos paid his rent.
6- Megan Fry, 44 years old, is killed by 14 state troopers after she wandered onto a live firing, fake town simulation. Seeing all the troopers walking slowly down the street Megan Fry had jumped out in front of them and yelled Boo! The troopers, thinking she was a pop up target, fired 67 shots between them, over 40 of them hitting the target. She just looked like a very real looking target, one of the troopers stated in his report.
7- Julia Smeeth, 20 years old, was killed by her brother Michael because she talked on the phone too long, Michael clubbed his sister to death with a cordless phone, then stabbed her several times with the broken aerial.
8- Helena Simms, Wife to the famous American nuclear scientist Harold Simms was killed by her husband after she had an affair with the neighbour. Over a period of 3 months Harold substituted Helena's eye shadow with a Uranium composite that was highly radioactive, until she died of radiation
poisoning. Although she suffered many symptoms, including total air loss, skin welts, blindness, extreme nausea and even had an ear lobe drop off, the victim never attended a doctor's surgery or hospital for a check up.
9- Military Sergeant John Joe Winter killed his two timing wife by loading her car with Trintynitrate explosive (similar to C4). The Ford Taurus she was driving was filled with 750 kgs of explosive, forming a force twice as powerful as the Oklahoma Bombing. Several persons heard the explosion some up to 14 kilometres away. No traces of the car or the victim were ever found, only a 55-meter deep crater, and 500m of missing road.
10- Patty Winter, 35 years old, was killed by her neighbour in the early hours of a Sunday morning. Her neighbour, Falt Hame, for years had a mounted F4 phantom jet engine in his rear yard. He would fire the jet engine, aimed at an empty block at the back of his property. Patty Winter would constantly complain to
the local sheriff's officers about the noise and the potential risk of fire. Mr Hame was served with a notice to remove the engine immediately. Not liking this he invited Miss Winter over for a cup of coffee and a chat about the whole situation. What Winter didn't know was that he had changed the position of
the engine, as she walked into the yard he activated it, hitting her with a blast of 5,000 degrees, killing her instantly, and forever burning her outline into the driveway.
11- Michael Lewis, angry with his gay boyfriend, used the movie, Die Hard With a Vengeance as inspiration. He drugged his boyfriend, Tony Berry, into an almost catatonic state, then dressed him only in a double-sided white board that read Death to all Niggers! on one side, and God Loves the KKK. On the other. Lewis then drove the victim to downtown Harlem and dropped him off. Two minutes later Berry was deceased.
12- Conrad Middleton, 26 years old, was killed by his twin brother Brian after a disagreement over who should take the family home after their parents' passed away. Conrad had a nasal problem, and had no sense of smell. After the argument Brian stormed out of the house, then snuck back later, and turned on the 3 gas taps in
the house, filling it with gas. He then left out a box of cigars, a lighter and a note saying, Sorry for the spree, have a puff on me, Brian. Conrad promptly lit a cigar, destroying the house, and himself in the process
1 - Alan Mijtus, 36 years old, is killed by his wife, armed with a 20-inch long vibrator. Mrs Mijtus had had enough of her husband's strange sex practices and one night during a prolonged session of fun she snapped, pushing all 20 inches of the vibrator into Alan's anus until it ruptured several internal organs and caused severe bleeding.
2- Debby Mills-Newbroughton, 99 years old, was killed as she crossed the road. She was to turn 100 the next day, but crossing the road with her daughter to go to her own birthday party her wheel chair was hit by the truck delivering her birthday cake.
3- Peter Stone, 42 years old, is murdered by his 8 year old daughter, who he had just sent to her room with no dinner. Young Samantha. Stone felt that if she couldn't have dinner no one should, and she promptly inserted 72 rat poison
tablets into her father's coffee as he prepared dinner. The victim took one sip and promptly collapsed. Samantha Stone was given
a suspended sentence as the judge felt she didn't realize what she was doing, until she tried to poison her mother using the same
method one month later.
4- David Danil, 17 years old, was killed by his girl friend after he attempted to have his way with her. His unwelcome advance was met with double-barrelled shotgun. Charla's (the girlfriends')
father had given it to her an hour before the date started, just in case.
5-Javier Halos, 27 years old, was killed by his landlord for failing to pay his rent for 8 years. The landlord, Kirk Weston, clubbed the victim to death with a toilet seat after he realized just how long it had been since Mr Halos paid his rent.
6- Megan Fry, 44 years old, is killed by 14 state troopers after she wandered onto a live firing, fake town simulation. Seeing all the troopers walking slowly down the street Megan Fry had jumped out in front of them and yelled Boo! The troopers, thinking she was a pop up target, fired 67 shots between them, over 40 of them hitting the target. She just looked like a very real looking target, one of the troopers stated in his report.
7- Julia Smeeth, 20 years old, was killed by her brother Michael because she talked on the phone too long, Michael clubbed his sister to death with a cordless phone, then stabbed her several times with the broken aerial.
8- Helena Simms, Wife to the famous American nuclear scientist Harold Simms was killed by her husband after she had an affair with the neighbour. Over a period of 3 months Harold substituted Helena's eye shadow with a Uranium composite that was highly radioactive, until she died of radiation
poisoning. Although she suffered many symptoms, including total air loss, skin welts, blindness, extreme nausea and even had an ear lobe drop off, the victim never attended a doctor's surgery or hospital for a check up.
9- Military Sergeant John Joe Winter killed his two timing wife by loading her car with Trintynitrate explosive (similar to C4). The Ford Taurus she was driving was filled with 750 kgs of explosive, forming a force twice as powerful as the Oklahoma Bombing. Several persons heard the explosion some up to 14 kilometres away. No traces of the car or the victim were ever found, only a 55-meter deep crater, and 500m of missing road.
10- Patty Winter, 35 years old, was killed by her neighbour in the early hours of a Sunday morning. Her neighbour, Falt Hame, for years had a mounted F4 phantom jet engine in his rear yard. He would fire the jet engine, aimed at an empty block at the back of his property. Patty Winter would constantly complain to
the local sheriff's officers about the noise and the potential risk of fire. Mr Hame was served with a notice to remove the engine immediately. Not liking this he invited Miss Winter over for a cup of coffee and a chat about the whole situation. What Winter didn't know was that he had changed the position of
the engine, as she walked into the yard he activated it, hitting her with a blast of 5,000 degrees, killing her instantly, and forever burning her outline into the driveway.
11- Michael Lewis, angry with his gay boyfriend, used the movie, Die Hard With a Vengeance as inspiration. He drugged his boyfriend, Tony Berry, into an almost catatonic state, then dressed him only in a double-sided white board that read Death to all Niggers! on one side, and God Loves the KKK. On the other. Lewis then drove the victim to downtown Harlem and dropped him off. Two minutes later Berry was deceased.
12- Conrad Middleton, 26 years old, was killed by his twin brother Brian after a disagreement over who should take the family home after their parents' passed away. Conrad had a nasal problem, and had no sense of smell. After the argument Brian stormed out of the house, then snuck back later, and turned on the 3 gas taps in
the house, filling it with gas. He then left out a box of cigars, a lighter and a note saying, Sorry for the spree, have a puff on me, Brian. Conrad promptly lit a cigar, destroying the house, and himself in the process
Oz
05-07-2003, 07:04 AM
:lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2:
Darwin Awards?
:ylsuper
Darwin Awards?
:ylsuper
HogieGT-R
05-07-2003, 08:11 AM
as gruesome as they are...that has to be some of the funniest shit that i've read in a while:hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe:
YogsVR4
05-07-2003, 08:58 AM
They may be urban ledgends but they are still pretty damn funny :)
94SolGrl
05-07-2003, 10:10 AM
those are HILARIOUS!
tonioseven
05-07-2003, 10:22 AM
7- Julia Smeeth, 20 years old, was killed by her brother Michael because she talked on the phone too long, Michael clubbed his sister to death with a cordless phone, then stabbed her several times with the broken aerial. Somebody else understands how my wife makes me feel!:p
TexasF355F1
05-07-2003, 11:32 AM
1 - Alan Mijtus, 36 years old, is killed by his wife, armed with a 20-inch long vibrator. Mrs Mijtus had had enough of her husband's strange sex practices and one night during a prolonged session of fun she snapped, pushing all 20 inches of the vibrator into Alan's anus until it ruptured several internal organs and caused severe bleeding.
What a crazy chick! The one thing that gets me is it says after a session of fun she snapped....apparently it wasn't fun if she was sick of his wierdness.
3- Peter Stone, 42 years old, is murdered by his 8 year old daughter, who he had just sent to her room with no dinner. Young Samantha. Stone felt that if she couldn't have dinner no one should, and she promptly inserted 72 rat poison
There is something seriously wrong with this girl, she's pshyco.
4- David Danil, 17 years old, was killed by his girl friend after he attempted to have his way with her. His unwelcome advance was met with double-barrelled shotgun. Charla's (the girlfriends')
I think the dad should be held accountable first before the daughter considering he gave her the shot gun.
8- Helena Simms, Wife to the famous American nuclear scientist Harold Simms was killed by her husband after she had an affair with the neighbour. Over a period of 3 months Harold substituted Helena's eye shadow with a Uranium composite that was highly radioactive, until she died of radiation
Ladies take note....if you fuck around on us, you're gonna get fucked...lol.
What a crazy chick! The one thing that gets me is it says after a session of fun she snapped....apparently it wasn't fun if she was sick of his wierdness.
3- Peter Stone, 42 years old, is murdered by his 8 year old daughter, who he had just sent to her room with no dinner. Young Samantha. Stone felt that if she couldn't have dinner no one should, and she promptly inserted 72 rat poison
There is something seriously wrong with this girl, she's pshyco.
4- David Danil, 17 years old, was killed by his girl friend after he attempted to have his way with her. His unwelcome advance was met with double-barrelled shotgun. Charla's (the girlfriends')
I think the dad should be held accountable first before the daughter considering he gave her the shot gun.
8- Helena Simms, Wife to the famous American nuclear scientist Harold Simms was killed by her husband after she had an affair with the neighbour. Over a period of 3 months Harold substituted Helena's eye shadow with a Uranium composite that was highly radioactive, until she died of radiation
Ladies take note....if you fuck around on us, you're gonna get fucked...lol.
Steel
05-07-2003, 12:20 PM
hey man, im all for girls defending themselves to unwanted sexual advances. Perhaps 2 barrels of 00 buckshot is a little much, but consider it a warning to all guys who can't keep it in their pants!!!
Marco_Wrc
05-07-2003, 01:37 PM
Are all these killings for real? Or is it a joke, sure sounds like it is.
9- Military Sergeant John Joe Winter killed his two timing wife by loading her car with Trintynitrate explosive (similar to C4). The Ford Taurus she was driving was filled with 750 kgs of explosive, forming a force twice as powerful as the Oklahoma Bombing. Several persons heard the explosion some up to 14 kilometres away. No traces of the car or the victim were ever found, only a 55-meter deep crater, and 500m of missing road.
Now, this guy must have been very pissed off.
9- Military Sergeant John Joe Winter killed his two timing wife by loading her car with Trintynitrate explosive (similar to C4). The Ford Taurus she was driving was filled with 750 kgs of explosive, forming a force twice as powerful as the Oklahoma Bombing. Several persons heard the explosion some up to 14 kilometres away. No traces of the car or the victim were ever found, only a 55-meter deep crater, and 500m of missing road.
Now, this guy must have been very pissed off.
sidewinder69
05-07-2003, 02:38 PM
That is some pretty funny crazy shit!!!!!
Later!
Later!
gigatron
05-07-2003, 03:25 PM
Are these for real lol... I mean I know the US has 15,000 murders a year (mostly by family and friends lol.....), but like wutup with these? Shit... lol.. I have to assume these are 'jokes' o_O
MaximusGTR
05-07-2003, 04:37 PM
and forever burning her outline into the driveway.
How Morbid:D
How Morbid:D
YellowMaranello
05-07-2003, 06:20 PM
Originally posted by MaximusGTR
How Morbid:D
Yet strangely comical.:D
How Morbid:D
Yet strangely comical.:D
jinushaun
05-07-2003, 06:36 PM
These CAN'T be real!! http://students.washington.edu/leprakon/dtm-af/smilies/rofl.gif
Toksin
05-07-2003, 06:49 PM
Originally posted by YellowMaranello
Yet strangely comical.:D
:spit:
Yet strangely comical.:D
:spit:
2strokebloke
05-07-2003, 07:18 PM
I'm going to have to ask for a link to the source from which this came, I don't believe that it's real, after all, does anybody realise how long it would take to beat somebody to death with a toilet seat? especially if it was one of those cheap plastic ones!? At least nobody was murdered with a styrofoam cup.
Suislide
05-07-2003, 08:07 PM
Originally posted by 2strokebloke
I'm going to have to ask for a link to the source from which this came, I don't believe that it's real, after all, does anybody realise how long it would take to beat somebody to death with a toilet seat? especially if it was one of those cheap plastic ones!? At least nobody was murdered with a styrofoam cup.
well...not too long really...some of them are heavy-ass wood, some are really thick, heavy-ass plastic...a good swift blow with either of those, and you're done for, my friend.
whoever thought people dieing would be funny??
I'm going to have to ask for a link to the source from which this came, I don't believe that it's real, after all, does anybody realise how long it would take to beat somebody to death with a toilet seat? especially if it was one of those cheap plastic ones!? At least nobody was murdered with a styrofoam cup.
well...not too long really...some of them are heavy-ass wood, some are really thick, heavy-ass plastic...a good swift blow with either of those, and you're done for, my friend.
whoever thought people dieing would be funny??
2strokebloke
05-07-2003, 08:21 PM
I'm going to guess that it was plastic, and that this guy lived in a really cheap apartment, so not only was it plastic, but it was flimsy plastic. In this case it'd be about as easy to saw a mans head off with it as it'd be to beat him to death with it - in other words it'd take a more than a couple blows, and chances are he'd run away and never come back before you could finish the job, however you probably could strangle him with it...
Suislide
05-07-2003, 09:27 PM
Originally posted by 2strokebloke
I'm going to guess that it was plastic, and that this guy lived in a really cheap apartment, so not only was it plastic, but it was flimsy plastic. In this case it'd be about as easy to saw a mans head off with it as it'd be to beat him to death with it - in other words it'd take a more than a couple blows, and chances are he'd run away and never come back before you could finish the job, however you probably could strangle him with it...
but you can't assume anything because you don't know the guy. I'D personally say chances are it was a heavy one since he managed to beat a guy to death with it. plus, if he lived in a cheap apartment, chances are it would have a heavy one, because the heavy ones were standard on all older toilets (the cheap plastic ones hadn't come out yet), and since this is a cheap apartment, i'm guessing they haven't updated their toilets in a while, meaning that big-ass heavy thing would still be on there.
i think the only question here is: how the hell did he end up having a LOOSE toilet seat to beat a man with? and why did he choose the toilet seat over something more practical, like, oh i dunno, A KNIFE?
I'm going to guess that it was plastic, and that this guy lived in a really cheap apartment, so not only was it plastic, but it was flimsy plastic. In this case it'd be about as easy to saw a mans head off with it as it'd be to beat him to death with it - in other words it'd take a more than a couple blows, and chances are he'd run away and never come back before you could finish the job, however you probably could strangle him with it...
but you can't assume anything because you don't know the guy. I'D personally say chances are it was a heavy one since he managed to beat a guy to death with it. plus, if he lived in a cheap apartment, chances are it would have a heavy one, because the heavy ones were standard on all older toilets (the cheap plastic ones hadn't come out yet), and since this is a cheap apartment, i'm guessing they haven't updated their toilets in a while, meaning that big-ass heavy thing would still be on there.
i think the only question here is: how the hell did he end up having a LOOSE toilet seat to beat a man with? and why did he choose the toilet seat over something more practical, like, oh i dunno, A KNIFE?
taranaki
05-08-2003, 12:20 AM
Originally posted by 2strokebloke
I'm going to have to ask for a link to the source from which this came, I don't believe that it's real, after all, does anybody realise how long it would take to beat somebody to death with a toilet seat? especially if it was one of those cheap plastic ones!? At least nobody was murdered with a styrofoam cup.
if you cut/paste a suitable sentence from the post into Google you will see that this is a widely-posted article.The site that I lifted it from probably isn't the original author.
If I thought it could be verified as true[for example,if it were posted on an FBI website],I'd have quoted the source.As it stands,it's just a piece of light reading.Try not to over-analyse it.;)
I'm going to have to ask for a link to the source from which this came, I don't believe that it's real, after all, does anybody realise how long it would take to beat somebody to death with a toilet seat? especially if it was one of those cheap plastic ones!? At least nobody was murdered with a styrofoam cup.
if you cut/paste a suitable sentence from the post into Google you will see that this is a widely-posted article.The site that I lifted it from probably isn't the original author.
If I thought it could be verified as true[for example,if it were posted on an FBI website],I'd have quoted the source.As it stands,it's just a piece of light reading.Try not to over-analyse it.;)
Sean
05-08-2003, 12:34 AM
Originally posted by 2strokebloke
I'm going to have to ask for a link to the source from which this came, I don't believe that it's real, after all, does anybody realise how long it would take to beat somebody to death with a toilet seat? especially if it was one of those cheap plastic ones!? At least nobody was murdered with a styrofoam cup.
maybe you could break it open and poison them with the CFC's... need a lot of cups though
or just tie it over their mouth and if their are dumb and dont know you can breat out your nose they would die
I'm going to have to ask for a link to the source from which this came, I don't believe that it's real, after all, does anybody realise how long it would take to beat somebody to death with a toilet seat? especially if it was one of those cheap plastic ones!? At least nobody was murdered with a styrofoam cup.
maybe you could break it open and poison them with the CFC's... need a lot of cups though
or just tie it over their mouth and if their are dumb and dont know you can breat out your nose they would die
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